Grand Final – West Coast v Collingwood: The Game

After starring at the Almanac Grand Final lunch, Matt Quartermaine scored a ticket to the game. It was his lucky day.

Thinking of you West Coast Eagles (with apologies to Martin Flanagan)

Matt Quartermaine was among the very fine speakers at The Footy Almanac Grand Final Eve 2018 Lunch. Magnificently delivered, this brought the house down. [Very WA and from an Eagles fan too. JTH]

The Commoners Guide To AFL Commentary

Matt Quartermaine unravels some footy commentator lingo for us. Do you have any of your own?

Almanac Dinner: Yoshi lights up the North Fitzroy Arms

A happy (and rather boisterous) crew had dinner with Yoshi Imagawa at the North Fitzroy Arms. Matt Quartermaine, who arrived fashionably late, was in the best position to make some observations. [The chicken wing re-enactment was a highlight – Ed]

Matty Q’s Footy Roundup – Round 5.

Matty Q comes off the long run with some early season observations on footy media, the deliberate out of bounds rule, and the importance of umpires being able to read minds.

Almanac People: Jokes that Kill

Matt Q provides some insight into the craft of footy humour and when it falls into the hands of the wrong people it can be dangerous.

Round 13 – Review: Freedumb

Matt Q reviews all that is glorious on Round 13 Free to Air Football, the split round of dummy spitting rounds.

Free to air your grievances

Matty Q’s superb view of footy over “Her Royal Richness’ ” weekend [includes best new verb for Dustin Martin’s style of play – Ed].

Waltzing With The Matildas

A late Monday night watching the Matildas and Matt Quartermaine is converted.

Playing at the MCG

It’s everyone’s dream to play cricket on the MCG. Matty Q’s done it. Sort of. (A ripping yarn about local cricket)

Grand Final – West Coast v Hawthorn: Grand Excuses

West Coast Eagle Matt Quartermaine wants to know what you really feel about the Hawthorn premiership. He lets us know how he does.

Finals Week 1 – West Coast v Hawthorn: Some things are more important than footy

An important piece of reflective beauty from Matt Quartermaine.

And Give Up Showbiz?

The two sides of the Melbourne Comedy Festival: the big rooms at the Town Hall and the ‘off-Broadway’ gems like Matty Q and Tim Smith’s ‘Breaking Dad’ show in South Melbourne. Is local laughs, is good.

Hit in the box

And Matty Q thought Hawkeye was a TV surgeon with a Groucho Marx complex?

Ask and ye shall receive

Matty Q has completed the AFL spectator survey. He may have captured the general feeling?

AFL Grand Final: Daydream Island

Matt Quartermaine watches the Grand Final in Queensland, but his mind is on weightier matters. He coins a wonderful new term “insinserendipity” that is a lock for the next Macquarie Dictionary.

A moment of clarity

Matt Quartermaine found Channel 7’s insightful panel show so fascinating last night that he is sharing a transcript of the program to enlighten readers, especially beleaguered Bombers supporters.

Ashes: The Mini-Series

News has come through that Hollywood is making a mini-series of the Ashes. The production has been plagued by script problems, but Matt Quartermaine’s spies in the Land of Make Believe have let him in on the casting.

AFL Round 13 – Hawthorn v West Coast: Another case for secession

Matt Quartermaine meets old mates across from WA at Ethical (damn predictive text) Stadium. If only the Eagles bought their ducking game they may have stolen the points.

AFL Round 10 – West Coast v Richmond: The end of TV as we know it

Matt Quartermaine doesn’t have pay TV, hates shows that are about hard work, and wonders what happened to the Eagles on Monday night.