Archie Goes the Early Crow and Calls the AFL Finals Series in April – Surely He Can’t Get So Badly Wrong As He Did in Season `16!

Archie has bitten the proverbial bullet and with the risk of being shot down by his fellow Almanackers, has predicted his AFL 2017 Premiership and Brownlow medal winners after only two rounds. [NB The link is now working properly – sorry for the break in transmission. Ed]

NRL – It’s time Benny hollered for a marshall and sent young Anthony to the Sound

Archie’s highly-secret strategy to turn the Bronco’s season around by sending their star half to a glacial ground and employing a pack of llamas to put the spit and polish on his game and let hit talent abound.

Almanac Horseracing – Winx Wins the Arc De Triomphe By Plenty

Looking at the placegetters in Sunday’s de l’Arc de Triomphe, Archie Butterfly reckons there is only one horse that can claim to be “the greatest.” And she didn’t even run.

Almanac League: JT Enters the Starship – Nothing’s Gunna Stop the Cowboys Now!

After deafting the Bulldogs at Belmore, Archie, with artistic licence from Starship, feels nothing is going to stop JT and his Cowboys.

Almanac League: Archie Correctly Calls the Provan-Summons Trophy Lifter Six Weeks Before the Big Day Out in September

It’s Official! Archie has made the call, JT and Cowboys will storm into the NRL final four and take the Anchor north again.

Almanac Olympics: Boom Boom Boom, Pau Pau Pau and it’s Hasta La Vista Skippy – The Spaniards Sink the Sunshine Boys in the Last Ten Seconds – It’s the Greatest Choke Since Peter in the High Priest’s Courtyard

Archie has endured the Boomers Olympic Basketball campaign through early mornings and sunset sleeps and is not happy with the result.

Barricades, Brick Walls, BrisVegas Voodoo and Eternal Springs Sprung – Or How Archie and the Bead Twirler’s Onesies Turned Gorgeous’s George Favorite Footy Team’s Premiership Promising Season into a Pumpkin Scone

Cronulla stumble again. And while Archie always knew that “Year of the Shark” was a charade, this Titanic piece proves that he operates on a different plane to most mere mortals. [Put your feet up – Ed].

Almanac Lawn Bowls: It’s a Bonza Weekend in the Bung as the Lawn Bowls Birds Celebrate 50 Years By Going Bone on Bone With Disco Ernie – Viva BrisVegas!

The Geebung Ladies Bowls Club is turning 50. Archie got the flyer in his letterbox.

I Guess That’s Why They Call it Kumquat’s Big Blue: The Young Gun’s Year on the Sidelines – Means a Win to the Blues

Archie, the proudest of proud [north?] Queenslanders, prepares to fill the pockets of his King Gee shorts with cash by backing the NSW Blues. He is thanking his Grandpa for that. Because the new Maroons coaching staff have made some grave errors – already. [A fiery rant from Archie – Ed]

Almanac Rugby: Hands Up If You Saw a Wallaby Flanker Put an Argentinian Merchant Banker on His Ass This Morning?

The sharp eyes of Archie Butterfly hail the “athletic prowess”, shall we say, of Wallaby flanker Michael Hooper during the Wallabies 34-9 rout of the Pumas [A beautiful right cross, but a SANZAR judicial hearing will have the final say on his availability for the rest of the Rugby Championship, after citing Hooper for foul play. – Ed].

Round 14 – Gold Coast v North Melbourne: Here Comes the Sun!

Gary Ablett’s back and so are Archie Butterfly’s Suns. A 2014 Richmond like tilt at the finals awaits a team eager to get back on the back page.

We’ve Won! The Firebirds Have Pulled it Out of the Fire! Queenslander! Queenslander!

Archie shares his excitement as the Queensland Firebirds win the ANZ Championship in a thriller.

Next They’ll Be Telling Us That NSW Are Going To Win Origin

The ANZ Netball championship have just released their All Star team and Archie isn’t impressed.

Four Bunches of Sheilas – But Only One That Can Play – The Tale of Laura and the Three Lamb-Hearted Losers

Archie sat down on Saturday to watch some sport and he was mostly disappointed as he tells the tale of Laura and the Three Lamb-Hearted Losers.

I Guess That’s Why They Call it the Blues – Why Origin 2015 is All Over Before it’s Even Started

There is nothing quite like someone who goes the “early crow”. And Archie shows us just how to go the early crow as he explains that the Blues have no chance in 2015 Origin.

Round 5 – Gold Coast v Brisbane: Kicked Around, Knocked to the Ground – The Suns Get to Their Feet and They Scream – We’re Going All the Way to the G!

Archie Butterfly’s Suns have risen – the Messiah will arrive fashionably late. Shannon Noll is on the phone.

Archie Calls the Grand Final Before the First Bounce of the Season – When His Gazza’s Stalking Around the Gee- Arch See’s Red, He Sees Red, He’s Sees Red

Inspired by Luke Reynolds’ ode to Shane Watson, Archie draws heavily on Eric Bogle’s ‘And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda’ for this hymn to Gary Ablett [and throws in a clever use of Split Enz’s ‘I See Red’ in his title for this post. – Ed]

The Boy Who Dodged Bullets and Bombs So He Could Come to Canberra to Have a Bat and Bowl – and Captain His Country at the Cricket World Cup

As Bangladesh and Afghanistan square off in Canberra for their ICC World Cup Group A pool match today, Archie Butterfly profiles the Afghani skipper, Mohammed Nabi.

The Things We Do For Love – It’s Business Time – the All Black First Five

Fresh from straightening up non-Queenslanders in yesterday’s dispatch, Archie Butterfly returns with some cultural insights into New Zealand. Chilly bins, jandals and a quick trip to the dairy – all from the comfort of your own little Lower Hutt batch, eh!

Brendon’s Black Capped Imposter’s Set to Get Smashed by a Bunch of Sporran-Wearing South African Scots in Downtown Dunedin Before Dark

Archie delivers a magnificent overview of the Scottish side who are in the process of smashing the Black Caps at home…. possibly.