The 2012 ‘Mopsy’ Fraser Cup – Round Nine

Greetings Tipsters

Working long hours at strange times of the day does not make for an environment conducive to watching three hours of football four times a weekend. This could also make it difficult to write a football column, but being clueless has never stopped me from doing anything before.

Richmond kicked the highest score of the weekend and they did it against alleged flag-favourites, Hawthorn. Allow that to sink in for a little bit. Go listen to ‘Like A Rolling Stone’ while you do, it’s about six minutes, which should be just enough time. “Now you don’t talk so loud, now you don’t seem so proud…”

If six minutes isn’t enough, listen to ‘Move On Up’, because that’s what the Tiggers finally seem to be doing. One good victory doesn’t make a fullbore revival, but this one was of the style that suggests the revival may not be too far away. Interesting little tidbit hidden away in a tabloid today, Trent Cotchin saying that Ben Cousins still talks to some of the Richmond players and “People will never know some of the things he did for some of the players here.”

Given Cousins’s undoubted professionalism, it’s not surprising that his attitude would have profoundly influenced a group of young players who were more used to being humiliated on a regular basis. After a rare win for the yellow and black a few years ago, Ben was singing the song, kicking his legs out in time and wearing the biggest, happiest grin imaginable. Stump may have been an horribly overrated coach but he did a neat thing in recruiting Ben, one that may still be bearing fruit for the RFC.

One win from the last four games for the Swans and is it time to drag out the “No Goodes, No Swans?” headlines? They were pretty terrible and, fact is, when a team’s leading goalkicker is a skinny wingman, it says very little about an effective forward setup. The Party Boys nailed them at what they’ve been so up about for several years, going in hard, winning that ol’ contested ball. Maybe the Sparkies need to get out of the ute and go dig a few trenches.

The telecast opened with a tribute to Lenny Bruce, um, Kaye, no, Lenny Hayes, remarkable for its poor production. Close-ups, and really close, of various current and former team-mates, all shot with a lens that was too much of a wide angle, on a high-def with some post-production tweaking that brought into high-relief every pimple, pustule and blemish, including many that weren’t there. Seems a funny way to celebrate 250 games from a great player.

As a harbinger of a brave new world, Stooges Stadium made its debut as an AFL venue. My notes feature the line ‘Magnificent little stadium, very boutiquey.’ I don’t know if I heard that or made it up, but it’s true enough. Why, you might ask, do I call it Stooges Stadium? Partly because Skodas are boring cars, mostly because I caught The Stooges there in 2006 and 2011. I would explain further, but there is likely a guided missile already aimed at my house for quoting Bob Dylan while writing about the Tiggers, so I’m not gonna push it any further. Anyway, it’s on the i94 bar website.

My notes also feature ‘Bring back the nineteenth man!’ I’ve no idea what caused me to write that, but I’ve been known to express this opinion before. It’s worth returning to someday.

Returning is something that Bad Jack Elliott didn’t get to do. The Royals had a do for the Twenty-Fifth Anniversary of the 1987 premiership, but forgot to invite him. Yep, it was “an oversight.” “It wasn’t deliberate…” Who was putting the invitiation list together? “Okay, we’ve got the players, the coach, the trainer, the bootstudder, the old dear that washed the socks, that bloke in the cheer squad that passed out drunk in the second quarter, anyone else? No, that’s it, print ‘em out and post ‘em. And don’t forget to use that popping champagne bottle picture from Powerpoint, that’s real classy.”

Sticks bumped into Jack and invited him to the postmatch do and will ensure he’s at the superdo in October. Old thieves or something? The Royals attitude kinda reminds me of Roman emperors, except that throwing someone into the Yarra doesn’t really have the same impact as throwing them onto the sharp rocks in the Tiber.

Cheers, Tipsters

P&C, A ‘Stop Privatisation of Footy’ production, a division of Trans-Dementia Enterprises.

Brought to you with the assistance of ‘First Time Around’, Bob Dylan at Sydney Stadium, 13 April 1966.