Punter Looks at Forty (apologies to Jimmy Buffett)

Peter Baulderstone channels the American singer-songwriter for his Ricky Ponting commemorative poem.

Stop all the Clocks

With apologies to W. H. Auden

AFL Round 22 – West Coast v Collingwood: Eagles 4 Denmark 0

WEST COAST EAGLES V COLLINGWOOD SUBIACO OVAL – 5.40pm WST – Saturday 25 August 2012 This is the third week of the very preliminary finals.  In an even season it is all about getting your best players fit and in form, while obtaining the best possible grid position for the start of the September Grand [Read more]

We can win this

WEST COAST EAGLES v GEELONG SUBIACO OVAL, 6.40pm, FRIDAY AUGUST 10th “Faith is belief in the absence of proof.” So sayeth a wise man (can’t remember who). And the faith of the Eagles flock had been tested over the past 6 weeks as injuries mounted and form waned.   Then the Lord sent Catmanackers a sign [Read more]

The Whip Around

Heartfelt pleas have rung out across the nation.  From Fearless to Floreat Pica the Almanac has groaned  under the weight of concern about young Travis’s welfare, and its tragic consequences for Nathan’s stalled bid for beatification. Out here in the West we find it a little hard to understand all the drama.  Sure there’s money, [Read more]

The Fat Man sings

At 2.30pm a Mack truck lumbered onto Subiaco Oval.  I checked the registration number “41” and quickly confirmed it was Shane Mumford. The sox were already down around the ankles, giving the impression that he was running on half deflated retreads.  The jumper dangled loosely out from the waist band of the impressive shorts.  More [Read more]

The Almanacker’s Lament (apologies to John O’Brien)

“We’ll all be rooned,” said Litza, In accents most forlorn, “This bloody Ratten shits ya, I wish he’d not been born.”

The noble art of booing

“We wuz robbed.  Collingwood couldn’t buy a goal in the last quarter, so that bloody maggot gives Beams a charity 20 metres out.  And that home ground free kick bias is ruining the game.” Sorry, I’m just channeling my inner Bluebagger.  That sense of entitlement that makes them so obnoxious.  I actually couldn’t get that [Read more]

David Graham – A Life Redeemed

Its US Golf Open time, and I felt inspired by Matt Riordan’s wonderful list of his 5 favorite golfers and the typically eclectic Almanacker response, to add my recollection of a forgotten hero of Australian golf. Before the Shark there was Peter Thomson, Kel Nagle, Bruce Crampton (second best golfer in the world for many [Read more]

Cardboard Villains

WEST COAST EAGLES V CARLTON  Stockbroker Stadium,  5.40pm (AFL **##!! TV Time) Thursday the can you **!!##  believe it 14 June 2012  Chris Judd’s 5 All Time Favorite Woody Allen Movies: Take the Money and Run (1969) – for taking the Visy cash instead of another premiership with the Eagles Stardust Memories (1980) – for [Read more]

Oh Frabjous Day

WEST COAST EAGLES V FREMANTLE DOCKERS Subiaco Oval,Sunday 27 May 2012,2.40pmWST First Half Match Report “Beware the Rosserwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Bally bird, and shun The frumious Sandersnatch!” Woosha took his vorpal sword in hand: Long time the manxome foe he sought — So rested he [Read more]

Brave New World Order

The Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, and AFL CEO Andrew Demetriou today announced dramatic new initiatives to improve skill levels and player availability in the AFL. “Now that we are an 18 team competition, it is clear that the AFL can no longer maintain the highest standards of skill and performance using purely local talent,” Mr [Read more]

When too much Eagles is never enough

Subiaco Oval,2.40pm, Sunday 20 May I love Beau Waters.  There, I’ve said it.  The Avenging Eagle needn’t worry.  Julia and Tony won’t let us marry.  Beau played his 100th game in 9 seasons in last week’s loss to the Bombers.  A series of elbow dislocations and fractures threatened to end his career, but he is [Read more]

The Hardest Working Men in Football

What a week it’s been in life and footy, Eddie.  Sorry, I’m suffering from Wrap Deprivation Syndrome.  Who would have thought that he’d desert TLSWRF* and take the $1.5 million a season from GWS to ghost write Sheeds’ column for the Blacktown Bugle? (*The Long Suffering Wrap Reader Faithful).