ARNFL Fixture 2013

Cronulla faces losing up to 14 players for the next season.  It seems unlikely that they could field a credible side in the NRL for 2013.  Can Essendon be far behind?

So what do highly trained sportsmen do with all this time on their hands?  There is no need for them to be limited to Rugby League and Australian Rules.  With the formation of the Australian Really Normal Fun League (ARNFL) they can show their undoubted prowess at all those sports and games we really love – but see too little of these days.

I have suggested a draft fixture, but I am sure Almanackers have cupboards full of games that the boys could showcase.  And what about those obscure sports that we only see at Olympics time or as pay-TV late night filler?

Please help by nominating weekly challenges for our Bomber and Shark heroes.  Let them know they won’t be forgotten.  Early indications are that we may have more than one season’s fixture to fill.

Round 1 – Cronulla V Essendon – Yahtzee

Round 2 – Essendon V Cronulla – Twister

Round 3 – Cronulla V Essendon – Squatter (Robertson Oval, Wagga – “Bringing the Game to the Bush” Round – Essendon to fly to the game by Cropduster)

Round 4 – Essendon V Cronulla – Pick up Sticks

Round 5 – Cronulla V Essendon – Pokies Playoff (Sharks Leagues Club – every player gets 4 hours to blow a month’s salary cap – biggest losers win)

Round 6 – Essendon V Cronulla – Carpet Bowls

Round 7 – Cronulla V Essendon – Putt Putt (Royal Sydney GC)

Round 8 – Essendon V Cronulla – Curling (Blundstone Stadium, Hobart – midwinter round)

Round 9 – Cronulla V Essendon – Synchronised Swimming (Gunnamatta Baths)

Round 10 – Essendon V Cronulla – Pokies Playoff (Windy Hill Tabaret – return round – players get to blow remainder of month’s salary cap – 10 minute quarters – no time on)

Round 11 – Cronulla V Essendon – Bye – Rehab Round – Sydney Private Hospital

Round 12 – Essendon V Cronulla – Modern Pentathlon

Round 13 – Cronulla V Essendon – Dressage (Mardi Gras ‘anti discrimination’ Round)

Round 14 – Essendon V Cronulla – Greco Roman Wrestling (Mardi Gras Round – return bout)

Round 15 – Cronulla V Essendon – Platform Diving (ET ‘Dress to the Left’ Round)

Round 16 – Essendon V Cronulla – Air Moguls (Falls Creek – “Bringing the Game to the Boardroom” Round – Essendon to fly to the game by Hindenburg Airship)

Round 17 – Cronulla V Essendon – Pairs Skating

Round 18 – Esssendon V Cronulla – 20/20 (Ashes Rescue Round)

Round 19 – Cronulla V Essendon – My Kitchen Rules (Channel 7 “Salmonella Round”)

Round 20 – Essendon V Cronulla – Bye – Rehab Round (Dr Phil celebrity appeance)

Round 21 – Cronulla V Essendon – Canasta (Star Casino)

Round 22 – Essendon V Cronulla – Snap (Crown Casino)

Finals Round 1 – Cronulla V Essendon – Qualifying Final

Finals Round 2 – Winner Round 1 V Loser Round 1 – Semi Final Final

Finals Round 3 – Winner Round 2 V Player to be Named – Thank God Its Nearly Over Final

Finals Round 4 – Winner Round 3 V Andrew Demetriou – “The Medleys”


  1. Hey Pete

    Would peptides performance enhance a game of canasta?

    Love the idea that Essendon would play a season of lesser games as a penalty. And I’d like to take it down a step further. How about playing make believe afternoon tea with Sid’s sister from Toy Story. “More tea Mrs Nesbitt?” Shit that would be fitting to see those Essendon A-holes suffer the same indignation as Buzz did in that scene.

  2. LOL :)

    But the draw might have to be changed in a few weeks when other clubs step into the peptide spotlight. Got any suggestions should Manly have to line up with Cronulla and Essendon?

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