The Welcome Back Wrap


For the Philosophical Marngrook Follower

Ciad Mile Failte.  And what an off-season it’s been in Footy Eddie.  The Bagginess has replaced the Sagginess in the grass coloured cloth beanie of The National Team.  Although it must be said The Opposition appeared to have come out just for the left over pudding and for The Little Master to notch up his 100th International ton.  The Pup has learnt to show some teeth and even the Old Dog remembered some old tricks.

Cricket Australia’s Big Bash proved to be The Big Yawn.  That they’re letting school groups into venues of India’s version of the same thing should have been a warning to those Dear Old Folk and Marketing Whiz Kids at Cricket Australia.

With the arrival of Atomic Bernie the Fanatics have taken up the chant – Let’s Go Bernard, Let’s Go!!!  They even had a chance to go Fanatical for the Resurging Llil Lleyton & his Actress Wife Becky  And yes, the Final was a Fantastical Tennis Match.  One for the Ages.

The Thorpedo slipped into the Speedos but had left his budgies & fins back in Athens.  You’d be excused for wondering why he’s putting himself through it all again.  Of course the less generous amongst us will be adding another rumour to those that hover: that he is flat stony broke.  Shame on you.

To show that we haven’t been in total hibernation during The Long Dark Summer around here in the Wrapcave, we have has instituted a new award.  In light of the many contenders, it has been decided to reward the most bungling sporting administrative of the year with the annual Krudd Memorial Shield.  Awarded for delusional excellence, no background to the shield is necessary, other than to say The Honourable Krudd gave his all and died with his ego on.

Cricket Australia’s relegation of the Pura Cup to a late summer event in preference The Big Yawn has earned plaudits and votes from the judges, and was the clubhouse leader until Clive Palmer’s attack of sunstroke up on the Wally World Coast.  Pouring one day, over your gum boots the next it may be up there where the sleaze hits you in the eye like a big pizza pie, but Big Clive knows how to stare down the administration of Frank Lowy at the FFA.  You stare and stare and stare, unblinking until it all fades to grey.  Good one Big Fella.

Staring down Frank Lowy is no mean feat either.  This is the man remember who is a retrospective contender for The Shield for his failed coup to wrest the World Cup from Qatar and his quixotic expansion on the A-League across the WideBrownLand with such teams as the Margaret River Marron and the Cairns Crocs.  With the expulsion of the Gold Coast team, the A-League is down to 10 teams and has a following of not much more than ten times that, judging by the crowds in the highlight footage.

But Stop The Press.  Who told them out at Whingy Flat about this new silverware?  We all know how hungry they are to fill that trophy cabinet out there where the suburbs meet the basalt.  Their flight to Wangaratta turned into ignominy and has not only drawn the ire of Angry Adrian, but gleaned some valuable early points and shot them toward the top of the leader board for the KMS.

But it runs deeper than that.  Touted as community minded – don’t tell Andy Lovett – the Essendon administration gave as their reason for the jetset travel arrangements that there no room at the inn, and they couldn’t find enough Bomber Fans in the whole Ovens Valley – out of the 10,000 who paid upfront to watch The Bombers play The Saints – to billet the team and officials overnight.  (I’ll bet Bobby Rose, in his day, could have found lodgings for the whole population of Carringbush – Ed)

Is there life after coaching?  Ask Ex-coach Brewery.  The Great Spoiler has taken up where he left off last season.  Not satisfied with destabilizing Carringbush’s 2011 Premiership Campaign, he’s put the Richmond Coach on notice and had unkind word to offer on just about everything that’s really none of his business.   A word of advice Mick, no one outside the Collingwood Boardroom took you seriously, and it would be fair to suggest that there wasn’t unanimous support for you there either.  Put a sock in it son.  Mrs Wrap reckons it might be a good time to get to know those kids of Christie’s.  They’d be needing a bit of kicking practice by now wouldn’t they?

No Nurelle, we haven’t forgotten the Appalling Football League’s chances of waltzing off with The Krudd.  The Great Helmsman’s treatment of the Vandemonian delegation applying for a license and his ego trip into the Shadows of the Sandstone Curtain has assured them of favouritism.   However, their insidious encroachment on the news agenda, and who says what to whom, plus their own entry into the media ranks doesn’t rate as delusional grandeur.  It’s out and out sinister.   Make no mistake, Our Vlad over in the Kremlin would approve wholeheartedly.  (Why not the Vlad Wand – for out and out bastardry Wrap? – Ed)

In Jimmy Stynes we have our second saint.  And who better to stand alongside Mary McKillop?

And let’s get the remarks of Matt Randell cleared up once and for all.  (Are you sure you want to go there Wrap? – Ed)  Out of the way Ed.  These questions have to be asked.  How much easier would Phil Carman have been to handle if he’d had one white parent?  And Brent Croswell?  Not to mention Percy Jones.  Just to name a few.

In the same paddock, hasn’t this column being saying for years that if we lose the interest of the folk on the outstations and homelands, we lose something very vital at the heart of OUR GREAT GAME?  Well Jason Mifsud makes the point that the Sunraysia mob has swung over to the roundball code, and down among the mob that gave Buckley shelter from his wardens, basketball is the favoured ball game.  (You have been predicting this Wrap – Ed)

Anyone here follow politics?  Yeah?  Did you catch the Great Helmsman’s Western Bulldog’s full forward moment last week?   When Carringbush CEO suggested the Ayatollah was looking a bit worn down?  The response was swift and to the point – he was more likely to play full back for GWS that chuck it in real soon.   Gary Pert even endorsed an AFL proposed successor. – Chief Operations Officer McLachlan.  From little things do big things grow, eh?

The real season can’t come quick enough for True Lovers of THE GAME.  Our Great Game.  The One True Game.  And I tell you what, if they don’t play it in Heaven, I’m not going.

So, as the acrid smell of briquette smoke mingles with the sandalwood scent of belah, and the sweet thunk of Bata Scouts sinking into Ross Faulkners can be heard across the nation – from the Meanstreets of Struggletown to the shaded avenues & crescents of the Leafy East – from the cobbled bluestone lanes to the never ending plains – and dare we say it – from sea to shining sea – the WideBrownLand awakes from slumber.

The Wrap end of August ladder is the traditional feature of this first issue after the retreat of the Long Dark Summer.  And here it is.


  1. Hawthorn – Taking a big punt here, as we did last year, and the year before.  The talk along the trendy bistros & cafés of Glenferrie Road is that they’re just taking it one season at a time.  This is a well-balanced group of mature footballers, up&comers with a healthy number of out and out stars.  The Jeffless administration knows what it’s about and the Coaching Staff are as professional as it gets.  They also boast a huge Army of Gen Xers from their glory days.  An Army as rabid as any in the business.  True, many of the Paid Up Proud & Passionate registered in the Doomsday Book may be in swaddling clothes, and it’s rumoured that some family pets and childhood obsessional objects are numbered amongst that bulging membership list, but as they’ll tell you out at Waverly, they all count.  And count they will.  We’re saying this is going to be the Year of the Hawk.  They were cruelled by injury last year and the Happy Hawk Bulletin claims all the wounded are all the better for the rest.  If they can walk as well as they can talk we’re in for a year of high possession football, and a Hawthorn Premiership.


  1. Geelong – we’ve got The Moggies at # 2.  We’re not saying The Greatest Team Of All has slipped, just that there’s a better one going around this season.  Or so we’re hearing.  They’ve lost a few veterans – Mad Dog Mooney, Lingy, Milburn & Bradley Ottens leave holes in the Premiership line-up, but they’ve still got Chappy, & Jimmy, & Harry Taylor, & Matty S, & Stevie J, & Corey Enright, & Josh Hunt, & Joel Selwood, & Travis Varcoe, & the jPod, & the Tomahawk, & James Kelly, & all those young kids who couldn’t get a game last year, or were injured.   Make no mistake; they’ll be there when the whips are cracking.


  1. West Coast – The Weagles surprised a few last season, but Students of The Game had them up near the top.  Nick Naitanui is ready to join Big Buddy as a game Breaking Superstar and Josh Kennedy is another who’s cherry ripe for a super season.  The loss of La Cras is not helpful to their cause, but you just watch an 81kg Brad Dick do for The Eagles what a 71kg Brad Dick didn’t to do Collingwood.  Ten games at home plus two Derbies.   Whoosher’s Wanderers will make The Competition sit up and take notice this season.  Remember, they’ve been there before at this level, and have gone the distance.


  1. Collingwood – Last season’s disappointment cuts deep at the Lexus Centre.  They know they were beaten by a harder tougher side on the day and will carry that well delivered lesson to September.  It may take the new coaching panel a bit to settle in.  And early injuries are sure to put a load on the soldiers still at the parapets.   But this is Collingwood we’re talking about.  The home of GAD.  They’ll be there when it counts.  But the Vertically Striped Monochromes are going to have to cop some flack early in the season.  Things just don’t feel right down at the Yarra Falls End.


  1. Fremantle– The Barry Crockers made the headlines at the end of last season but all that’s behind them and they’ve been quietly going about their business.  They’ve recruited one of The Wrap’s most loved players – the Iconic Journeyman, Zac Dawson and parted with Rhys Palmer and string of middle range players.  Our physio at the Gym looks after the Dockers needs for East Coast matches and Mark reckons Rossy Lyon has breathed new life into The Stevedores.  Pav is champing at the bit and the Purple Horde is right behind him.  You can bet your last Euro they’ll be hard to score against.  And the word is that Jack Anthony has his kicking boots back from the cobbler’s.  No more Flaky Freo either.  It’s shape up or ship out under Coach Lyon.


  1. Carlton – This time last year we wrote – The Miseries have to produce this season.  So much hype, so much dosh, so little to show for it.  Down along La Via Lygon they’re talking it up, and if Ratts can’t get them fired up there’s bound to be a re-action.  They look good on paper but so far they’ve only been paper champions.  One last chance Blues Brothers.  Now we’re aware of the accusations of anti-Carlton bias that are raised regularly about The Wrap reportage on what happens at the Little Ground Along Royal Parade – which naturally we vigorously refute.  This column has a reputation for fearlessly bring subscribers the truth as we see it.  (And occasionally as it is – Ed)  This year we’re saying The Miseries have to produce this season ……..  And there hasn’t been much sign that they’re going to.  Juddy’s that year older and has been holding the baby – both at home and at Optus Oval.  They would have been lost last year without Heath Scotland – and he’s 32 next July.  There doesn’t appear to be any significant change in the line-up from last year, except we won’t be seeing Ryan Houlihan & Setanta O’hAilpin running around in the Old Dark Navy Blue this year.  They’ll be thereabouts, but apart from the odd Royal Blue patch, 2012 is shaping as a watershed year for the Only Team All Carlton Knows.  And from the watershed, the water runs downhill.


  1. Adelaide – The Chardonnays added some Pewter to the Trophy Cabinet before the season even got under way.  In the truncated format, the Giveashit Cup outcomes tell us very little, other than The Chardonnays have taken to Brenton Sanderson’s approach in a way that suggests the Rabid Adelaide Mob are going to be slathering in their muzzles once more.  Any team that boasts Graham Johncock is competitive.  Be prepared for surprizes from The Free Settlers, and Investors could do well to study their form closely on a week by week basis, as it could be a wild ride on the West Lakes Bandwagon.  They open the season with the Metermaids, The Chokers & The Penrith Pygmies in the first five rounds, which should get them off to a flyer.  They’re going to be hard to head once they get their noses in front.


  1. North Melbourne – This is a big year for The Norsemen.  And for their Coach.  Not to mention The Long Suffering Arden Street Faithful and their out-there President.  They’ll miss Brady Rawlings, and hopefully we’ll see the Dynamic Giant Majak Daw prove Matt Rendell wrong.  Jack Ziebell, Daniel Wells, Nathan Grima, Leigh Adams, Liam Greenwood and Andrew Swallow are a pretty smart line-up.  Add an experienced defence and a dangerous attack and Toddy Goldstein’s rucking influence and you can see this List making the Gasometer rock once more.  They have a dream run for the first half, and with a flying start could get some momentum up.  And hasn’t Toddy come a long way since those early days running around on the tanbark playing enclosure at Preshil, eh?


  1. Richmond – Last season The Tiger Was Stirring.  This year it’s Roar Pride, Roar Passion and RAW POWER.  They’ve identified their weaknesses from last season and recruited to plug those gaps.  This includes trading to get Ivan Maric, a ready-made ruckman from The Crows and classy defender Steve Morris from West Adelaide.  Son of Tiger Premiership player Kevin, Steve joins Bachar Houli across halfback and brings experience and skills to the previously porous Richmond Defence.  Jumping Jack Riewoldt is free of the niggling injuries that held him back last year and is primed to climb all over opposition defences.  Tyrone Vickery is settling in as a forward target and there’s plenty of livewire goal sneaks to take advantage of the spillages.  Then there’s the midfield.  Cotchin, Foley, Martin, Tuck, Jackson and Deledio.  Arguably the best young midfield going around, they’ll take a bit of shutting down.  There’s a genuine feeling of Self Belief down at Punt Road.  They have a horror stretch in the opening five rounds but it’s foreseeable that they could win a few of those.  If they do, look out.  There’ll be Tigers coming out of the jungle all over the place.  Each year of Coach Hardnose’s incumbency has seen the Tiges lift three places.  From 15th to 12th suggests that this year they’ll boot the Shinboners out of Glorious Ninth and set themselves for a tilt at the Finals, if not The Flag, in Season 2013.


  1. Sydney – John Longmire’s seamless transition to the Coach’s Box last season was a credit to the way they run things up at  – as Coach Mumbles would have it – the Vaucluse Racquet & Croquet Club.  They said their farewells to Craig Bolton, who’ll be sorely missed, and Tadhg Kennelly, Paul Bevan & Daniel Bradshaw.  True to form they’ve grabbed Tiger Reject Mitch Morton.  Much loved at Tigerland for greasing the rails under the Solarium Kid, he was never truly appreciated by the Selectors.  Watch for his trademark play – the dodge around the man on the mark as he drives home some long bombs from out wide on the flank.  But it won’t be quite enough to lift them up into a Top Four Finish.  We’ve marked them hard this season.  They’ve been showing signs of treading water for a few seasons now, and while they’re the Great Survivors , and seem to be able to pull that Bloods’ Football out of the hat when they’re desperate, we’re saying that you can only live so long on adrenalin.


  1. Essendon – The Bombers did well under rookie coach Mark Hird last season, but there are those around who believe it was a dead cat bounce.  There’s not much change in the line-up and in all honesty, it’s not much of a line-up.  When they herald the return of Tumbledown Gumbleton as the Renaissance you realize just how desperate they are out at Whingy Flats.  Sure they’ve got some lively forwards, but at the money they’re paying them, you’d expect them to be.  Their defence is half handy, but Professor Gadget is that year older.  Can you remember what you were doing the year he was born?  I’ll give you a clue.  Godfather II won the Oscar, Gough Whitlam was Prime Minister, Captain & Tennille were belting out Love Will Keep Us Together, Indonesia invaded East Timor, and Stan Alves was runner-up to Gary Dempsey in the Brownlow.  Take Jobe Watson out of the midfield and there’s a hole you could bury David Hille & Paddy Ryder in.  And it could be argued that might be the best place for them.  We’re predicting a long season for the Whingy Hill Faithful.


  1. St Kilda – St Kilda is the enigma team.  Can The Feeling Faints bounce back after everything they’ve been through – on and off the field?  With every Free Agency Vulture hovering to pick the club clean of some of The Competition’s best ready made footballers going around.  These players are entering their prime, albeit veteran, years, and it’s going to be a turbulent season down at Sorrento Seaford.  Rookie Coach Scott Walters is about to learn why The Saints are known as The Culture Club.  And while it doesn’t make us feel any better having to say this – especially to The Long Suffering Junction Oval Faithful – in the name of unbiased reporting it has to be said: right now, this Saint Kilda team is in the inveigling eddies at the mouth of the vortex.


  1. Footscray – With Bulldog Barry hanging up the Pumas it leaves the goalsquare open for J. Gillard to take her rightful place as full forward for her Beloved Western Bulldogs.  Led by another Rookie Coach, The Dishlickers may find the loss of Callan Ward & Josh Hill, the question mark over Brian Lake, and other haemorrhaging that has occurred over the last few seasons just too much for team harmony & stability.   Their middle range players, such as Roughead, Grant & Jones will need to stand up and be counted, which we’re suggesting might take the best part of half a season, by which time it will have got away from them.  Their senior players will also need to take stock of where they’re at.  They truly lost their way last year, and like Mary’s little lambs, they may not know where to find it.  Another one for Canny Investors to follow.  The Sons of The West have the ability to Stick It Up ‘em on their day.  And Brendan McCartney will make sure they do before the end of August – but it will be too late for September.


  1. Melbourne – this was a hard one.  They’ve had a shocking run there in the Longroom.  Their pre-season was far from impressive.  And while like politicians talking down an adverse poll, club officials at Melbourne are putting a brave face on The Fuchsia’s ordinary showing during the Summer.  Jack Who looks flat, and he’s not alone.   Losing Tom Scully was one thing, but the way he left was another.  It’s going to be a long Winter for the Long Suffering Redleg Faithful and their new Coach Mark Neeld.  There should be some light at the end of the tunnel towards the end of the season.  But it might just be the Southern Aurora coming through the Blue Mountains..


  1. Port Adelaide – The Tealers have parted ways with a few of their premiership player, namely Chad Cornes & Dean Brogan.  Daniel & Marlon Matlock also missed the cut.  This is team building – starting with the clean-out.  Will it make a difference?  It has to.  More a basket case than tyros GWS & GCFC, The Power has to re-invent itself.  With a dwindling supporter base, they just can’t muster a decent crowd.  There’s talk that they could relocate to the NT, with home matches played at The Alice & Darwin alternatively.  They’re certainly friendless amongst the Free Settlers.  That aside, their List isn’t all that bad.  They play good hard at the ball Footy, and Jay Schultz can cut open a defence as good as the best of them.  (As good as Buddy Wrap? – Ed)  Davey Rodan’s a regular livewire, and they’ve picked up Brad Ebert, Brent Renouf & John McCarthy for experience.  If they can get their act together they could do a lot better than 15th, and canny investors will also be keeping an eye on them for their breakout.


  1. Brisbane – Recruiting hasn’t been Brisbane’s long suit over the last few seasons.  In a team rebuilding, forcing the likes of Luke Power from the club suggests they’ve learnt nothing from their adventurous forays.  They’re a bit like Port Adelaide, although not as unfashionable.  They have some out and out champs – Daniel Rich Simon Black spring to mind – but the rest tail away pretty smartly.  And Jonathon Brown’s creaking frame and fearless attitude have him spending too much time in the back of the Coaches’ Box managing the magnetic board for Vossy.


  1. The Meter Maids – will be better for the run last season and those young bodies will have hardened up.  Guy McKenna was renowned for the way he read the play alongside Glen Jackovich.  He will have read the play up there last season and be well over the first year phase of blowing the bugle for the Little Rays of Sunshine while trying to  coach a winning side.  They’ll win a few, and a trip to the Cold Coast won’t be all about a trip to dream world.  They’ll have rivalry games between up-town Brissy and Cockroach Western Sydney to look forward to.  They win those four games and they’re well on their way to breaking out of The Cellar.


  1. The Greater Western Sydney Giants – no one will be so foolhardy as to tip them a winless season, but it would be equally foolhardy to deny them favouritism for the Coveted Sylvan Shield.  Sheeds is nothing if not a sly old fox.  Along with Chokko, he’ll make sure The Orange & Grey Army gets maximum exposure and that his charges are be prepared mentally.  Have the earplugs ready for when they win their first match.  Coach Mumbles was unbearable when he was at Whingy Hill with a half decent outfit.  Barnsey will seem like a shrinking violet should The Pygmies pull one off.


The Flag

It’s only a guess this far out, but if confidence counts for anything, The Leafy East has already taken this season at a time and is getting ready to take next season at a time.  Vince Toscano has the GoldenBrown Bunting in the box under the till in readiness, and Bob Stewart has doubled up on GoldenBrown knitwear.  Why swim against the current: The Family Club.

The Coach most likely

After the Big Clean Out 2012 become a tough one.  Vossy would have to be on notice – even for a favourite Son.  The Forces of Darkness tried to de-stabilize Coach Hardnose, but The Tigers acted swiftly and put pen to paper.  The one who must be really feeling the heat would have to be Rattz.  If The Rattzbaggers don’t perform this season they’d have to be whetting those well-worn knives around at Prince’s Park.  And that’s who we’re going for, but it’s quite conceivable this season that the current crop of incumbents will line up for Season 2013.

The Fevola

With drugs, sex and gambling all under the vigilant eye of the Great Helmsman and his faithful henchmen & women it could come from anywhere this season.  It’s going to take some cracking, but we’re saying that there will be an exposé of worrying links between criminal elements and umpires.

The Brownlow

So many vote grabbers, this is a hard one.  It’s really difficult to go past the likes of Swan, Pendlebury & Selwood, but here goes.  With The Sunbeams playing better footy this season, the margins won’t be so one-sided.  This will give the umpires more leeway to give Gary Ablett Jnr more two votes with the occasional BoG for good measure.  Yes Wrappers, what better way to welcome those lost souls living up on the Wally World Coast than with a Brownlow Winner of their own to deify?

Dark horses swirl every where in the Wrap Crystal Ball.  Patrick Dangerfield will lead the Chadonnay Resurgence; he’s got to be a real chance.  Tent Corchin is due fir his breakout year.  And over in the West, Nick Naitanui would have to catch the umpires’ eyes.

The Coleman

We’re going to stay close to home this season and tip Richmond’s Jumping Jack Riewoldt will outshoot the current Medallist in a season long tussle for this Award.  Buddy may be playing more up-field we’re told.  Clive Tippett, in a rampaging Adelaide, will be worth keeping an eye on too.

The Krudd Memorial Shield

With delusional grandeur becoming more deeply entrenched in our collective psyche, this gong could go to anyone.  Eddie insisting that Collingwood play in Black&White Vertical Stripes has outworn its newsworthiness.  We’ve already seen Sir Clive Palmer take his net and ball and flounce off.  That will take some beating.  But we’re sticking with the Senior Code.  Yes Wrappers, the sublime example of administrative arrogance will come from Harrison House.  And it will be the Great Helmsman’s treatment of critics.  He’s already burnt in effigy in Tassy on Guy Fox Day.  You watch him burn what little goodwill he has left since ascending the dais to accept the robes of Grand Poohbah.

So, let’s join in the chorus where hearts beat true and march-in Season 2012.

  1. 1.     Hawthorn
  2. Geelong
  3. West Coast
  4. Fremantle
  5. 5.     Collingwood
  6. Carlton
  7. Adelaide
  8. North Melbourne


  1. 9.     Richmond
  2. 10.  Sydney –
  3. 11.  Essendon
  4. 12.  St Kilda
  5. 13.  Footscray
  6. 14.  Melbourne
  7. 15.  Port Adelaide
  8. 16.  Brisbane
  9. 17.  The Meter Maids
  10. 18.  The Greater Western Sydney Giants

Steak & Kidney v The Penrith Pygmies.  As a curtain raiser for the 2012 Season, this one rates about as much as a day in the life of a Melbourne tram.  Sheeds will talk it up, and get the Wild West to turn out at Opus Prime Stadium, and the match won’t be without some interest value.  If only to see how far off the mark the Appalling Football League’s marketing gurus have been trying to establish a second front in Sydney.  The Vaucluse Racquet & Croquet Club in a canter.

Struggletown v The Silvertails.  Robert Walls has gone on record as saying the Tigers can’t be taken seriously until they beat some class sides.  Not that Carlton ranks amongst those, but Richmond will turn the tables on their tormentors of opening rounds past and go into Round II in the black.  Why?  Firstly because The Tiges are set for this one in a way that would make The Late Great Living Legend, Captain Blood, stir in his crypt.  With Big Maric giving them the ruck drive they’ve lacked, their new defensive structure, and Jumping Jack primed to run amuck, they’ll take The Miseries by storm.  Carlton will be without regular fullback Jamison and appear everything other than ready for the beginning of the Season.  If you’re not doing anything Thursday night, oil up your tonsils with the Tiger Army down at the Punt Road End and belt out the Victory March of Struggletown.  This is going to be a Famous Victory.

About John Mosig

I'm an Aussie Rules tragic who can remember, as a four year old, shaking the hand of Captain Blood in the rooms just before he ran out onto the ground after half time, as my Old Man slipped him a packet of under-the-counter Craven A cork tipped. Now it's my turn to take my grandson Ben through the ritual of character building that is the journey through PUNT ROAD to the outside world.


  1. It’s good to see that those Tiggies have brought their supporters from the crypt of despair with their pre-season performance Wrapster.

    I have tipped themto make the eight and am that confident that I have invested a fiver with Gigs to back up my claim to tipping imortality.

  2. It is good to see that the Tiggies pre-season performance has drawn the Tiger zombies out of the crypt of despair into the bright sunshine of hope Wrapster; albeit with rose coloured glasses to help shade those unacustomed eyes.

    My brother rang me the other day and said; “don’t worry about those Cats being too fat and slow this season, they haven’t recovered from eating all those cream pies last October”

    My neighbour gave me some fine local cheese just after the feline clash at Breezy Stadium. He said “make sure you get it into the fridge asap. You don’t want it going all soft and gooey like those Cats.”

    And Daff (bless him) is way to much the gentleman to be as hurtful as the nasty Tasmanian tigers. He just noted he can’t wait till round 4.

    For the record I have tipped the Tiges to finish in eighth spot and have even invested a fiver with Gigs to back up my claim to tipping immortality.

    Look forward to your offerings this season.

    Cheers, Cheese Pie.

  3. Technical error. Disregard the draft.

  4. Rick Kane says

    Which one was the draft :)

  5. Wrapster – wonderful read. You obviously have a sterling sense of humour lodging the Tigers in 8th spot.

    I’m trying to fit 6 teams into 8th spot.

  6. Rick Kane says

    Wouldn’t it be easier to leave the 8th spot blank and put two teams at 9th?

  7. John Butler says

    Welcome back TW.

    Surprised to see you put the Blues as high as 6th. Not getting soft are you?

  8. To my errant son Wrap:
    Of course we play AFL here in heaven. But that will still not affect your admission rights. As I said in my gospels “It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a Tiger supporter to enter the Kingdom of Heaven”.
    By my count your 40 seasons in the wilderness does not expire until 2020. Can you wait that long?

  9. What would you imagine a hungry Tiger could do to cocky Eagle, Wrapster? Remember the Jumping Jack ten a few years back.

    But it may be argued that the Tigers had a decisive advantage that day. The Eagles were apparently receiving instructions from above regarding swimming, training in the TANK.

  10. it’s possible I’m getting a bit soft in my dotage JB. And maybe a bit hard on The Tiges too. Thursday night will reveal all.

    And a fiver well invested Phanto. Things are humming along nicely at Tigerland, like a well oiled machine. Tell your Tiger Tragic Bro to shake the silverfish out of his Sacred # 4 Guernsey and get down to the Punt Road End for Thursday’s dismantling of The Miseries season. Struggletown we may be in name, but not in team.

    And to all scoffers, sneerers and assorted ne’er do wells, let’s be clearer even than the Western Bulldogs Full Forward on this – The Tigers are BIT.

  11. Lets hope they read the wrap and don’t give away home games for the lure of warmer climes and fat cheques and end up BID or BIC.

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