The Pre-Wrap: Semi-Finals

THE PRE WRAP – WEEK II OF SEPTEMBER

For the Philosophical Marngrook Follower

What a week it’s been in Footy Eddie*.  Who ever thought the Solarium Kid had it in him to coin a phrase?  But here it is – Tuesday With Terry has given us The Down Hill Skiers.   I suppose if the Icelandic beanie fits you have to wear it.  And they skied right into the Star Chamber this week to wipe the tarnish from one of their scant un-mortgaged assets.  And maybe not as fruitlessly as first appears.  In keeping with the philosophy of that well regarded Silvertail Oscar Wilde, it’s better to be spoken of poorly than not spoken of at all (Or was it George Harris who said that, Wrap? – Ed) they’ve managed to keep the CFC logo on the front pages of the Sportz sections well after it should have been consigned to the dustbin of Season 2009.

And we’re talking dumb & dumber here.  First the on-field action was the “dumb thing to do”.  Then doing the interview with a hangover at Tullamarine “was dumb”.  Juddy, when your head clears you might come to understand that leaving West Coast for Carlton was the really dumb thing to do.

And where does this leave his 2nd Brownlow chances?  Disqualified in 2009, giving away a three match start in 2010.  (Or maybe more – Ed)  The hands of time click clock for all.  But it could have been worse.  In legal circles it’s rumoured that Sir Frank Downright – should heaven forbid the Hanging Judge ever be elevated to the Bench – would have called for another couple of weeks for gross stupidity.

But wait, there’s breaking news coming in on the tape.  The QCs are lining up along Royal Parade to do pro bonos for Juddy.  In true Silvertail arrogance they’ve claimed “the decision was so unreasonable that no tribunal acting reasonably could have come to that decision having regard for the evidence before it”.  By our reading – by any reasonable reading – they’re calling the Ayatollah’s handmaidens unreasonable.  This seems not a healthy course to set. The invertebrates can hardly back down now.  But they can act on a frivolous appeal.  Why do you think they took advice to keep schtum when their Head Sniper took out a Hawthorn Rover?

The Wrap’s favourite Sage Pundit has done it again.  She’s taken out the Grant Hattam Award for Excellence in Football Journalism.  You’d all remember the piece she knocked out about the childhoods of three draftees late last year – The Nat, Chris Yarran and Michael Walters.  A Street of Dreams was the header.  It would have been a hard street to get a kick in, eh?  Well done Emma.

Speaking of the fairer sex, the Prez around at The Dysfunctional Club has been on something he may have picked up lying around the Locker Room.  From his warm fuzzy side he holds the wish to see a woman playing League Footy one day.  You may have missed it Jeff, but if you’d got amongst the Faithful at the PUNT ROAD END in the 90s you’d have been assured Wayne Carey was a girl.  That’s probably not what you meant.  Although it does give new meaning to the shirtfront.

And another Lions Premiership Player has hung up the Jumper.  Tim Notting – a true servant of the club and a member of one of the greatest eras of the Modern Game – will hang around till Brissy finish their 2009 Campaign.  Brissy is looking more and more like The Voss Machine, eh?

This conversation was overheard in a travel bag shop.  You’d have to suspect one of them was a Collingwood supporter.
1st speaker: “If it were a company Mick would have already been given his marching orders.  Time for a change”.
2nd Speaker: “Trouble is its Eddie’s Company.  Maybe it’s time for Eddie to move on as well?”
1st Speaker: “Always easier to change MD than Chairman.  Mick is Eddie’s sacrificial lamb.  Eddie going nowhere (not everywhere)”.
You can take The Club out of Victoria Park, but you can’t take Victoria Park out of The Club, eh?

With the time for vinyl on fibreglass looming The Punter has chucked the short game to concentrate on the Tests.  Look out.  Watch the runs start to pile up again.

Over in the Land of The Brave our Kimmy is rebuilding her career.  She’s set up a 4th Round clash with Serena and is hopeful of reversing the flow of play between the two over the years.  But for Andy Murray it wasn’t such a good time.  He slipped beneath the waves once more and there’s talk amongst the knowledgeable that it would be a waste of time re-floating him in any serious way.

Out near the Zoo, The Diamonds squared the series with a disperate 48-44 wun agunst The Sulver Fins.  They lud by 16 goals at one steege un the Cheempionshup Queerter but obfuscating empiring allowed The Fins to gut buck unto the keentust.  Locked at two-eell, the suries moves up under the palms to conclude the Australian lug of the Suries.

But enough of my gabbin’. Let’s see who’s going to be able to seek Further Glory in the 2nd week.

The Western Bulldogs v The Boys From Old Fitzroy at The G on Friday night.  The Doggies mucked up real bad last weekend and will biting mad when they run out for this one.  They should have a full complement and it’s difficult to see them losing.  They’re just that much more experienced and accomplished than The Young Lions.  Having said that, The Maroons will make sure they work hard for the win.  Brown and Bradshaw will pose some problems and they have some smart runners up there.  Not to mention the deadly boot of Runaway Rising Star Winner Daniel Rich.  But they’re not playing The Miseries this week.  Everywhere you look across the lines The Bullies seem to have the upper hand.  There’s talk they may add some mobility and height to their backline, but apart from that they look settled.  Make no mistake, there’ll be some entertaining Footy, but by the end of the night it will be The Sons of The West ringing out as the seagulls roost. The Tricolours.

The Premiership Cakewalkers v The Pride of South Australia at THOF on Saturday night.  The Gold Lamé may have had its last run for season 2009.  The Pies have gone terribly cold over the last couple of weeks and changes in the coaching structure could have something to do with it.  Collingwood’s obsession with cleaning out the desk of staff moving to other clubs is well known, and with Figjam sitting in the wings, Mickey looking over his shoulder and midfield coach Brad Scott no longer cracking the whip on Tuesday & Thursday nights, the Playing Group seems to have lost its edge.  On top of that, there are some SOTG who are of the view that they pulled the wrong rein at the selection table bringing in a couple of old stagers instead of staying with youth.  The youth that had been part of their mercurial run home to September.  They lose Pendlebury with a broken leg, and big Anthony may be eyeing off offers from the Green Bay Packers or the Dallas Cowboys.  Let’s see how the Selectors respond to what was really a thrashing.  St Kilda let them off the hook last week.  In a low scoring match, the losing margin represented a percentage differential of 154%.  The team they face on Saturday won by a percentage margin of 237%.  And they’re Cherry Ripe.  Some SOTG – on current form – have them as a very good thing for TLIS.  Look, it would be fantastic for what is fast becoming The Long Suffering Lexus Centre Faithful.  And let’s not beat about the bush here; it would be fantastic for Football.  (And don’t forget the scalpers and the AFL coffers Wrap – Ed)  But we don’t suspect we’re alone in feeling The Chardonnays are going to pop their cork and froth all over The Woodsmen.  They’ll miss Van Berlo but are foxy about whether Bock will line up on Cloke.  The Woodsmen will give it their all, but for us here in the Wraproom, there’s just something about The Pride of South Australia.  We’ve been off the mark before, but what we’ve seen over the last month or so has been awesome.   We’ll stick with The Crows going through to challenge The Handbags in the Penultimate Round of the AFL Season for 2009.

Good tipping and even better punting.

And remember, if you read it in The Wrap you’ll know it’s not crap.

* The overworked and over wrought staff in The Wrapcave will be on a study tour till Saturday so this issue, like The Down Hill Skiers, is coming early this week.