The Pre-Wrap, Round XXII: Buddy appeal a strange one for family club

For the Philosophical Marngrook Follower

What a week it’s been in Footy Eddie.  The Hawks’ appeal against the one week suspension of Big Buddy (Fast becoming Bad Boy Buddy – Ed) was always doomed.  And one can only surmise why they wrote out the cheque.  Reminiscent of Black Jack’s war of attrition on the Artful Football League on behalf of Diesel’s 12 week suspension, they displayed a side of the Family Club we hadn’t before suspected.  The appeal against the appeal doth make one thinketh they appeal too much around at Ausdoc Oval.  Get real; forget the appeal.  Look, if they can’t beat a team of kids and crocks without Bad Boy, they don’t deserve to be there when the whips are cracking.

And are we the only ones who feel that they have just signalled to the Football World that no Buddy, no Hawthorn?  How is it going to be from now on?  Just put a couple of thugs back on Bad Boy and collect the frees.  It’s not that he’s a shrinking violet or anything, eh?  Of course they’d need to be a couple, of good thugs.  Buddy brushes lesser beings aside.

But let’s make one thing perfectly clear, The Wrap poll was unanimous, there was no charge to answer.  Sure it malicious.  Sure it was wilful.  Sure there was an alternative.  But you can’t take the Hip & Shoulder out of THE GAME.  And you can’t take Big Buddy out of the equation.  He’s what OGG is all about.  Putting you courage to the test.  And the Waverly defence holds plenty of merit.  The Late Great Living Legend and Rover Basher Captain Blood would be spinning in his grave.  Benny had left him self wide open.  And it’s not often that happens.  However, one wonders what the vote would have been had he poleaxed James Hird, or Heaven forbid, Robby Flower.

And the question around the Coffeemate and the canteen is has Buddy become the new Rocca?  If he mucks up again this time next year it will be difficult to avoid the comparison.

The Coaches’ Carousel has finally been packed away for the year.  THE TIGERS unveiled one of the worst kept secrets of the season.  Damien Hardnose has been given the whip and the chair and invited into THE TIGER CAGE at the PUNT ROAD CIRCUS for the next three years.

But has it been?  Put away that is.  We hear from Football’s 1st Lady that Chokko hasn’t even seen the alleged two year contract offered by The Port Adelaide Basket Cases  And what of Alberton?  The last thing the Artful Football League needs, as it launches it’s greatest folly ever, is a disintegrating club in the heartland.  And remember, North, despite the heroic efforts of Prez Brayshaw, is not out of the woods yet.  The same could be said of RICHMOND and Melbourne.

The Saggy Greens pack away the creams and pull on the PJs for some hit and giggle, hopefully more hit than giggle.  Returning to a domestic season of rebuilding, Australian Cricket faces and interesting and exciting re-birth.

But enough of my gabbin’. Let’s see who’s going to be going through after Round XXII.

The Weagles v THE TIGERS over there tonight.  This is has been a watershed year for both clubs.  RICHMOND has seen off two coaches and re-jigged its administration.  It’s farewell for Coach Jade and probably quite a few others as Coach Hardnose takes up the task of emptying Port Phillip Bay with a bucket.  There’s been  a lot of conjecture, but it may not be as bad as it looks.  This List has played some good footy over the years but just lacked two things – cohesion (Read game plan – Ed) and leadership (Read commitment – Ed).  This is about to change.  But not tonight .  The Eagles have been quietly rebuilding Self Belief and Team Ethic under Woosher, and RICHMOND will very likely make another course of masonry in the re-structured walls of Fortress Sooby.   Chad Fletcher is in for his Farwell Game and THE TIGES are without their Skipper and key defender Thursfield.  And at $1.18 it’s worth ratting the kids Bendigo Bank piggy bank.  If they notice it’s not as heavy as it was on Thursday tell them the Tooth Fairy has had to get a new tin of gossamer and she’ll replace the money on Monday.  The Coasters.

The Pradas v The Barry Crockers down at Kardina Park at the traditional time.  The Anchormen sent The Bombers Down Below last weekend, but they’re not playing Essendon this week.  This is the Wrap No Brainer Safe as Houses Sure Fire Blue Chip Investment Opportunity of The Round.  And have you worked out how Geelong make so much money from their home games?  They only play from Dawn to Dark, and pocket all that dosh that goes towards Origin Energy’s monthly account at Docklands & The G.  The Hoopers.

The Mayblooms v The Gliders at THOF tomorrow.  The team Sheet in the butcher’s shop window said Franklin will be replaced in the selected side.  How arrogant can you get Jeff?  There are some who had hoped you’d learnt your lesson.  The Bombers have regained Ryder, Hocking, Lonergan & Lloyd.  Look, we couldn’t separate them, so we put it to Mrs Wrap.  In a word: Hawthorn.  Reason: angry.  Maggot of The Year prospect McLaren will have his hands full, and could well decide the outcome.  It’s delayed on Channel Rove so spend some time blowing the last remnants of the autumn leaves onto next door’s naturestrip till 3pm.  The Bagmen have them equal favourites, but you’d be just as well going for which fly was going to reach the top of the venetians first.  The Family Club to play the more unsociable football.

The Bluebaggers v The Pride of South Australia under cover on Saturday night.  Now here’s a real contest.  Two clubs on the rise and the crucial Home Final at stake.  The Crows have been quietly building form and Self Belief.  Carlton have been coming all year.  Both have been well beaten by Collingwood over the last couple of months but the Blues did what Adelaide narrowly failed to do – beat Geelong.  They’ve gone for team discipline around at Royal Parade and shot three players as a lesson to  the others.  In Roman times it was called decimating.  Gartlett and Cloke are easy to replace, Eddie Betts not so much.  The Crows have regained Dangerfield and The Birdman.  Look, honestly, we’re not totally convinced about Carlton.  They rely on kicking a winning score and The Fev on Ratten without Eddie lurking isn’t nearly as dangerous a combination as The Birdman, The Porpoise and The Dangerman.  We’re going for The Free Settlers in this one.  And at even money they’d have to be The Wrap Investment Opportunity of the Round.

The Bloods v The Maroons up on the other cricket ground on Saturday night.  It’s more about the sentiment than anything else.  They’re farewelling an era up there in Sin City, and Coach Roos has already signalled that next year is his testimonial year.  They’d love to make an impact, but they can’t.  The Lions will want to take some winning form into September, and they should.  Having said that, can The Bloods give their teammates a winning send off?  The Bears lose two key position players in Bradshaw and Merritt and have been inconsistent all year.  If they can cut down the feed to Brown The Swans will go a long way to winning this one.  We’re going for The Tinseltowners here.  And at $2.05 they’re The Wrap Roughie of The Round.

The Basket Weavers v The Shinboners over there on Saturday night.  Just how bad can they be over at Alberton?  And just how good are The Shinboners?  They inflicted The Seagulls’ 2nd consecutive loss for 2009 last week.  Can they repeat that valiant performance?  Or can The Chokers turn on one of their famous form reversals?  It’s mooted to be Peter Burgoyne’s farewell, and what a loyal Servant & Favourite Son he’s been too.  We’re tipping that, regardless of what Chokko does, his teammates won’t let P. Burgoyne down.  The Tealers.  But don’t bet on it.

The Fuchsias v The Feeling Faints on The Big Stage on Sunday arvo.  The Seagulls just couldn’t lose this one.  Or could they?  In a word: no.  With everyone telling Te saints not to flirt with their form, The Dees can expect a torrid farewell to Season 2009.  The Sinners.

Collingwood v Footscray at twilight on the shifting sands of Docklands.  This decides who gets the soft option in the 1st Round of the Finals.  The Pies can lose narrowly and still get The Handbags in week 1 of September.  For them to get The Pussies, The Doggies have to win well.  Apart from the psychological advantage of course.  There’s no sign of The Collywobbles at the Lexus Centre and they have only been in the papers for all the right reasons over the last month.  The Bullies have had some distractions but have struck a vein of form.  Make no mistake, The Scrays can win this.  And, along with the rest of the Football World, we’d be on our feet in a flash belting out chorus after chorus of Sons of The West, but we like the two giraffe combo at McHale Stadium.  It makes them tall where the Scraggers are short.  And as the Late Great Living Legend Captain Blood told Louie the Lip on a countless number of times: a good big man will beat a good little man every time.  And they don’t get any smaller as the game goes on.  You’ve probably guessed by now, it’s The Woodsmen from us down here at The Wrap.

Good tipping and even better punting.

And remember, if you read it in The Wrap you’ll know it’s not crap.


About John Mosig

I'm an Aussie Rules tragic who can remember, as a four year old, shaking the hand of Captain Blood in the rooms just before he ran out onto the ground after half time, as my Old Man slipped him a packet of under-the-counter Craven A cork tipped. Now it's my turn to take my grandson Ben through the ritual of character building that is the journey through PUNT ROAD to the outside world.

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