The Pre Wrap – Round 2





What a week it’s been in Footy Eddie.  Scarlett’s equation to achieve the 3-match ban reads something like Harmsie’s calculations for the winner of the Top Eight call at the Almanac GF Lunch.  All that was missing was divide by the number you first thought of.  And as for the Great Helmsman – you’d have thought he would have pulled those boys into line who had something smartarse to say about Motormouth copping one in the chops.  Maybe he reckons letting this build up will pull the Punters through the turnstiles.  Not the sort of thing you really want see – or is it?  They used to change ends to watch Mopsy Fraser play on Ted Whitten you know.

But what a punch Scarlett must have.  He didn’t even move his feet, yet Ballantyne collapsed like a burst bag of wheat.  BTW, Can anyone remember Ballantyne mouthing off at Big Bad Bustling Barry?

Egg On Face Department – or an entry in the Accident Prone Administration Medal for 2012?  Never mind Craig Thompson, the Appalling Football League’s Community Engagement Manager, Jason Mifsud, is in the news again.  Not happy with his 15 minutes of fame in the Matt Rendell Affair, he’s fed a piece of hearsay to Footy commentator Doubtful Thomas.  Naturally the fearless commentator blurted it out on his website as gospel truth.  Why check facts when there’s a risk they might get in the way of a good story.  We all know the consequences; The Ayatollah and the Community Engagement Manager apologized sincerely and unreservedly.  Not sure what that means coming out of Jellymont House, but it sounds impressive.  The Two Million Dollar Man said they knew the source of the rumour but was keeping schtum.  Surely it couldn’t have been Matt Rendell, they’ve just given him a job.  Which in itself should raise eyebrows around The Football World.  Let’s keep an eye on this mouse hole; you never know what’s going to pop out, do you now?  (And note which serpent slithers down it too I suspect – Ed)

Last Wednesday, those LSPRF who fell asleep on the couch may have been woken in the wee small fuzzy moments before cockcrow by the replayed telecast of the main SAFL match of Round I.  They would have been heartened by the sight of the # 54 running around Unley Oval for The Double Blues.  That’s right, it was the draft pick they selected between L. Franklin & J. Roughead all those years ago, when the Solarium Kid was picking his team of Terry Wallace look alikes.  (Surely you mean in playing style & size Wrap; we’d better make that clear – Ed)  Enough to make them think they’d overslept and woken up in Football Hell, eh?

And how about we all write in to The Appalling Football League complaining about the racket bombarding us from the ground PA systems.  One, we don’t need it.  We like to talk about the game and catch up on the week that was with our Footy Mates.  Two, it’s inane drivel and rock bands no ones gives a rat’s toss bag about.  And three, it’s ear drum bursting and off-putting.  Better still.  Write to the sponsors.

But enough of my gabbin, let’s see who’s going to be the running true after Round II.

The Lions v The Silvertails at The Gabba tonight.  Both sides had convincing wins in Round I.  The Lion’s opponents (using the term loosely Wrap? – Ed) may not have challenged them s much as Carlton’s opponents.   Nevertheless, they showed that they could follow a game plan and had the skills to execute it.  It would be foolhardy to sell them short in this one.  The Rattzbaggers are taking the same XXII that gave The Tiges a dust-up to Brissy.  A tough one this.  They’ll be – or should be – talking this one up as a danger game around at Optus Oval.  In fact, I’ve got a funny feeling The Lions are waiting in ambush up there under the palms.   And with Leuenbnberger  doing what Jack Riewoldt wasn’t allowed to do – sit back in the goalsquare – I’m going to stick my neck out on this one.  The Maroons’ midfielders to feed enough ball into their fifty to make a game of it.  Vossy’s had them for a few years now, and they looked impressive enough to win.  You wouldn’t put any money on it, but I keep getting this itch in my artificial knee.  The Boys From Old Fitzroy.

The Dons v Port Adelaide under cover on Saturday Arvo.  The Bombers got out of gaol last week, but they won’t need any luck to take the Four Points against The Power – as impressive as they were in Round I.  Essendon.

Sydney Town v The Barry Crockers at The Other Cricket Ground on Saturday.  Freo took on and beat TRP in a bruising, spiteful thriller last Saturday.  We’re guessing they’re going to suffer a bit of a hangover from that one.  And they’ll be without their attack gerbil.  The Swans were a bit slow off the mark in Round I, but we’re tipping they’ll be back playing Bloods’ Football this week,  Sydney

WCE v The Redlegs at Paterson Stadium on Saturday night.  A slater in a chookhouse would have more chance than The Dees in this one.  The Weagles to kick The Sweep.

The Magpies v The Tigers at The Peoples’ Ground on Saturday night.  Both teams will be keen to notch up a win, but apart from Kevin Bartlett and Tiger Tragics there’s not much support for The Tiges.  The make a nuisance of themselves, and even give The Tiger Army cause to chant, but at the end of the day, it’s all going to end in tears.  Carringbush.

The Pride of South Australia v The Western Bulldogs on Saturday night.  The Chardonnays are back to their sparkling best, while The Doggie’s kennel cough from last season doesn’t seem to have cleared up.  Apart from that, The Crows have got a couple of monster forwards and The Bullies don’t.  Adelaide will comfortably.

NMFC v GWS down in Hobart Town on Sunday.  The Roos are fired up this season and while The Greater Western Shenanigans will make a fist of it, they won’t stand a chance against The Shinboners OTR.

The Feeling Faints v The Sunbeams at The Little Ground At The End Of Bourke St late Sunday arvo.  The Metermaids played the same Footy last week as the played last year.  It wasn’t good enough then, and it won’t be good enough now.  That’s not to say The Saints are going to Come Marching In.  But you’d have to reckon they’d win this one.

Geelong v Hawthorn on The Paddock That Grew for the Easter Monday Blockbuster.  Thee two have a deep and lasting rivalry going back through The Modern Era.  From The Hawk’s come from behind win at Princes Park when they were nine goals down at ½ time back in 1989, through their classic GF meeting that year, their unexpected in 2008 to their losing streak ever since.  We could fill a few pages on the match ups.  Which ever way you mark them, Hawthorn had a good hit out against The Pies; The Moggies had to fly to Perth, overhaul a six goal start and go down narrowly in a thriller, all the while being distracted by The Competition’s Marked Man.  This one’s a game too far for The Pussies.  And it would be with Scarlett in too.  The Mayblooms.

The Melbourne Football Club v The Appalling Football League in the Press every day.  We were going to go for Melbourne originally.  They’d lobbied for, and got Umpire Thomas dropped from the match; and had regained Aaron Davey.  When The Appallings’ Jason Mifsud became doubtful it looked all over by the shouting.  But when the powerhouse EnergyWatch was outed for the season – and possibly for life – it swung the thinking back the other way.  Look, we’ve got this one down as a draw.  Hopefully it won’t be drawn out.

Good tipping and even better punting.

And remember, if you read it in the Wrap you’ll know it’s not crap.


About John Mosig

I'm an Aussie Rules tragic who can remember, as a four year old, shaking the hand of Captain Blood in the rooms just before he ran out onto the ground after half time, as my Old Man slipped him a packet of under-the-counter Craven A cork tipped. Now it's my turn to take my grandson Ben through the ritual of character building that is the journey through PUNT ROAD to the outside world.


  1. Wonderful stuff, Mr Wrap. A man who knows which bodies should be buried and where. Your call on the rolling AFL/MFC tussle reminds me of the old KMarx aphorism “History repeats itself, first as tragedy, then as farce.” If I read it in the Wrap, then I know Caroline Wilson wouldn’t understand it.

  2. The Wrap says

    I hadn’t heard that one of Good Old Karl’s before PB. It’s a good one. We may see it again before season’s end. And hasn’t this little peccadillo got the Footy World’s Moral Compass spinning like a Catherine wheel, eh?

  3. A Caroline wheel??

  4. Richard Naco says

    Funny how the EnergyWatch sponsorships all shorted out.

    In more ways than 1.

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