Round 13: The Pre-Wrap


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For the Philosophical Marngrook Follower

Ciad Mile Failte.   What a week it’s been in Football Eddie. Hirdy’s in the gun again. This column has long been a critic of his wilful shenanigans out where the Maribyrnong meets the Mountains, however, for once we editorialize in his favour. Hasn’t the poor bloke suffered enough? He was over on the Riviera picking up his diploma in whatever it was he was working at over there, and to have that very special moment with his fellow graduates. Taking some ‘me’ time during the mid season break is hardly a hanging offence. It could even be argued the players and the coach could benefit from a bit of time apart. And surely he’ll need that diploma in whatever it was for whatever it takes in life after Football.

Ex-player Baker has come out in favour of Player Crowley, saying, presuming it’s an issue, that he should be slipped back into the side to help The Dockers through the last two week of the Finals. Just like he helped St Kilda when he was slipped back into their final’s side after a lengthy suspension. And presuming of course that an unforgiving WADA doesn’t have a prior say in the matter. (I’m impressed Wrap – you managed to get all that out without mentioning moral compass once – Ed)

Love your Thursday night footy? Fasten your seat belts. With the ratings soaring you’re about to get more of it. We’ve had to pay over award rates in the Wrapcave to get the publication out a day early.

The Baggy Greens have fired the first shot at The Olde Enemy in the coming Ashes Series. It appears the To & Froms have slipped over to Espanola on a bonding trip. In declaring they’re in the Green & Pleasant Land to play cricket, not sunbake, they’ve thrown down the gauntlet. The Baggies are full of vim & vigour and The Bagmen have them at the top of the call. That having been said, The Three Lions are brimming with confidence. May the best team win, eh?

But the big news has to be The Matildas. Into a Quarter Final against The Geishas, their Moment of Truth starts at 06.00 on Sunday our time. More strength to their ponytail. And for the record, while Wrap Enterprizes employs on merit, it is a staunch supporter of equal pay. They play an honest game of Football and deserve the full support of the FFA. The same FFA that can gouge $43m from the Long Suffering Aussie Taxpayer so a bored billionaire can swan around the globe big noting himself at our expense.

But enough of my gabbin’. Let’s see who’s going to be to able to preen after Round XIII.

The Purple People v The Monochromes tonight amongst the hummocks of The Western Capital. This should be a good game. It will certainly be a test of Collingwood’s September Aspirations. Rumour has it The Black&White Army’s run-through is going to read Collingwood – your season starts now. We’re going with The Anchormen here.

The Sydney Swan v The Striped Marvels up at Moore Park Road tomorrow night. The Tiges fluffed their lines last Friday. They’ve been wearing mouthguards to rehearsal all week. They actually play The Bloods well, having won three of their last five encounters. With Sydney coming off the bye and The Tiges OTR we have a good feeling about this one. That’s right Wrappers, Richmond up in Sin City are the Wrap Roughie of The Round.

The Mayblooms v The Same Olds on The G for the early one on Saturday.   They’re talking the R word out at Dingley Dell. No Nurelle, not Rebuild. Revenge. The Hawks are still smarting from the lapse of concentration that cost them Four Points back in Round II. Take the kiddies to the zoo, for their first parachute jump, or to see Mad Max IV. But don’t let them anywhere near the MCG or a television screen on Saturday arvo. This is going to be very, very ugly.

The Lions v The Crows under the palms in the gathering gloom. The Pride of South Australia have been thereabouts this season. The Bad News Bears have an eye on early draft picks. You’d have to say The Free Settlers in this one, wouldn’t you?

The Feeling Faints v The Dogs on the Shifting Sands on Saturday night. The Sainters are on a roll. But so are the Bullies. These two exciting teams are going to become influential sides in the years to come, but in this one we’re going to say The Scrays will hold the upper hand.

The Silvertails v The Sunbeams under cover on Sunday. The Miseries seem to have blown The Blues away. With a steady improvement under Locum Coach John Baker, they’re going to have too much for even an Ablett-led Metermaids. Carlton to forgo early draft picks with their third win of the season and move up within striking distance of relegating Essendon to a Cellar Dweller Finish to season 2015.

Good tipping and even better punting. The Wrapcave will be closed over the next few weeks due renovations and an urge for warmer climes. Rostered staff will be struggling back to the keyboard before the Finals.

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About John Mosig

I'm an Aussie Rules tragic who can remember, as a four year old, shaking the hand of Captain Blood in the rooms just before he ran out onto the ground after half time, as my Old Man slipped him a packet of under-the-counter Craven A cork tipped. Now it's my turn to take my grandson Ben through the ritual of character building that is the journey through PUNT ROAD to the outside world.


  1. Wrapster – boring weekend of footy coming up as the team that “plays the game the way it should be played” is having a rest.

    FIXture indeed.

  2. The Wrap says

    i understand from whence you’re coming Dips. Can you get behind a push to have a mid-season break on a given weekend and we can all get back to full rounds in a fortnight?

  3. I’ll be looking for you in the front row at Wimbledon next weekend Mr Wrap. You’ll be the bloke in the black and gold scarf still counting a large wad of 50’s.
    Go well. (Jeez the form around the Eagles is stacking up nicely eh).

  4. Coach Hardnose said The Eagles were the best team they’d played all year Mr B. More strength to their pinion. After this weekend you’d have to believe him. I watched Hawthorn on Saturday. They make a meal of Essendon. A team that wouldn’t make a light snack at Lite ‘nEasy.

    The AE must be pinching herself. I know I am.

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