Dear Richmond: I hate the way you…

I attended my first final on Sunday. It was both an incredible and traumatic experience. I’ve struggled to put my feelings into words – I’m angry, disappointed, but I still love the Tiges.

So I turned to one of my favourite teen movies, 10 Things I Hate About You. I’ve re-written Kat’s poem, and in traditional teenage form, it’s pretty angsty. But it’s the best I can do for now.

Here’s the original:



And here’s my effort (text in bold copied from the original):

I hate the way you kick the ball,
And the way you ignore Jack.
I hate the way you cough up leads,
I hate it when you miss the pack.

I hate your slipped tackles,
And when you lose it in the fourth,
I hate that so much it makes me sick,
Especially against North.

I hate the way you let Boomer go,
I hate it when you kick it high.
I hate it when you go to two-on-one,
Even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when players aren’t match-fit,
And the fact Jarrad Waite got the ball.
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,
Not even close,
Not even a little bit,
Not even at all.

A proper match report will come as soon as I can bring myself to watch the replay beyond the national anthem.
Go Tiges.


About Sarah Black

I'm a freelance sports journalist, primarily covering AFLW for AFL Media, but I have a passion for all sports. (Except rugby. Someone needs to explain the point of that game to me.) Having never grown past 5 foot tall, I've given up my dream of being the first professional dual netball/football player and I'm doing the next best thing - writing about it.


  1. Neil Anderson says

    I love the way your Tiger poetry reads,.
    Even the bit about ignoring Jack’s leads.
    So just keep writing for the Almanac,
    And don’t get too twisted and bent.
    And hope like hell that next year,
    You get a lot more out of Lids and Trent.

  2. Best match review EVER!!!!

  3. Peter Warrington says

    awesome. don’t watch the match and don’t write any more.

    Luckily the Abbott show helped me forget the pain.

  4. Peter O'Neill says

    Ah the pain of defeat – I felt it so well after the Swans limp effort in last years Grand Final. I fact I felt it around quarter time. Although it did not inspire me to poetry but I did remind myself that I and they will live to barrack and fight another day. Hang in there Sarah – your day will come.
    cheers Peter

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