Dear Richmond: I hate the way you…

I attended my first final on Sunday. It was both an incredible and traumatic experience. I’ve struggled to put my feelings into words – I’m angry, disappointed, but I still love the Tiges.

So I turned to one of my favourite teen movies, 10 Things I Hate About You. I’ve re-written Kat’s poem, and in traditional teenage form, it’s pretty angsty. But it’s the best I can do for now.

Here’s the original:

And here’s my effort (text in bold copied from the original):

I hate the way you kick the ball,
And the way you ignore Jack.
I hate the way you cough up leads,
I hate it when you miss the pack.

I hate your slipped tackles,
And when you lose it in the fourth,
I hate that so much it makes me sick,
Especially against North.

I hate the way you let Boomer go,
I hate it when you kick it high.
I hate it when you go to two-on-one,
Even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when players aren’t match-fit,
And the fact Jarrad Waite got the ball.
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,
Not even close,
Not even a little bit,
Not even at all.

A proper match report will come as soon as I can bring myself to watch the replay beyond the national anthem.
Go Tiges.

About Sarah Black

I'm a freelance sports journalist, primarily covering AFLW for AFL Media, but I have a passion for all sports. (Except rugby. Someone needs to explain the point of that game to me.) Having never grown past 5 foot tall, I've given up my dream of being the first professional dual netball/football player and I'm doing the next best thing - writing about it.

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