Greetings Tipsters,
Jim Irsay owns the Indianapolis Colts and one of the great collections of rock and roll ephemera. He sends it out on tour so other people can enjoy it too. Hires a band, people like Kenny Aronoff, Mike Mills, Slash, Ann Wilson, then gets on stage to croak out ‘Gimmie Shelter’, decades of cocaine abuse have not done him any favours but, by the gods, if you’re gonna be a billionaire, that’s the way to do it.
Jim’s Dad was a dead-set classic. Bob Irsay acquired the LA Rams in 1972, then swapped teams with Carroll Rosenbloom, owner of Baltimore Colts and friend of gambling identities, who later died in murky circumstances. Colts had been a strong team but collapsed when Bob took over. He liked to sit in the execubox, hit the bourbon and ring thru suggested play options. He did press conferences drunk and rambling. Players and coaches hated him, the team collapsed.
Bob wanted a new stadium, the state legislature wanted the team, March 1984, he hired every truck available, then packed and shipped the team to Indianapolis. Folks in Baltimore woke up to the news on the radio, your team has gone.
Bob died in 1997, Jim inherited and mostly stayed out of the way, Peyton Manning and Tony Dungy got Colts a Superbowl win in 2006. Jim is crazy mad, he spent millions on trying to free an orca who inspired him… If only I had a Dad who left me an NFL team…
The Ford family bought the Detroit Lions, finalised the contract on November 22, 1963, so that William Clay Ford would be distracted and not intefere with the family business. Lions last won a Championship in 1957, have one playoff win since, so that purchase was probably good for selling cars and trucks, terrible for the local football team.
Sheila, his daughter, took over as principal owner a few years ago, sacked the Head Coach and General Manager, hired some young and hungry blokes and it has been all upward since.
It’s the owner who really defines a team and sets them up for success. Patriots had a mostly terrible record until Robert Kraft bought the franchise in 1994, hired Bill Belichick in 2000 and went on an incredible run of success with the help of a sixth round draft pick named Brady.
Washington was a proud and successful team until Dan Snyder bought it in 1999 and proceeded to run it into the ground, and then some. Everyone hated him, from Congress to the dear old grandmother he sued, he went into hiding on his yacht in the Mediterranean and eventually had to sell the team. Hooray! But he got $6B.
The Haslams angered every other owner by giving Deshaun Watson a fully guaranteed $230M as soon as the criminal charges, involving 23 young female masseurs, were dismissed. But that’s expected of the Browns. Check utb for the details on Johnny Manziel.
Yeah, quarterbacks. The most important position in any team sport. Get a good one and your team will be a contender, at least until his rookie contract expires and then you’ll have to pay him $53M of the $226M salary cap and do a lot of canny recruiting and financial dancing on a pinhead to keep a decent team around him.
Assuming that the team that drafts him isn’t a tyre fire. Justin Herbert, 6’6 and 236, gangly in repose, moves with a casual fluidity that belies his extraordinary athleticism – plays for Chargers. General expectation is that Brandon Staley will be sacked soon, but there’s enough good players to keep on winning despite his terrible coaching.
American Football is a coach’s game, far more than any other football code. They design the plays, call the plays, manage the clock, the timeouts, they have an enormous influence over a player and his career. Some of them seem to be enormously, bafflingly stupid.
It all starts with a smart owner who cares. Even better if they’re as rich as Stan Kroenke, who bought a team in every comp that’d let him and spent billions on a science fiction stadium on the site of the old Hollywood Park Racetrack.
Cheers Tipsters
P&C, A Privatise The Cops Production, a division of Trans-Dementia Inc.
Brought to you with the assistance of Serge Gainsbourg’s ‘Histoire De Melody Nelson.’
To read more by Earl O’Neill on The Footy Almanac site click here.
To return to our Footy Almanac home page click HERE.
Our writers are independent contributors. The opinions expressed in their articles are their own. They are not the views, nor do they reflect the views, of Malarkey Publications.
Do you enjoy the Almanac concept?
And want to ensure it continues in its current form, and better? To help things keep ticking over please consider making your own contribution.
Become an Almanac (annual) member – CLICK HERE.
About Earl O'Neill
Freelance gardener, I've thousands of books, thousands of records, one fast motorcycle and one gorgeous smart funny sexy woman. Life's pretty darn neat.
Welcome back Earl. Love these posts. I became a Broncos fan when I watched Elway orchestrate a comeback in a playoff in 1992 from a Vegas room. Lean times in Denver for a while I suspect. I do like how someone once described the game as being like ‘chess but with huge dudes.’ 49ers look really good.
Very entertaining Earl. I follow the ownership shambles in European football pretty closely. The lack of any salary cap means players and agents control the agenda to a point where only Middle East oil states or US Hedge Funds (and movie stars in the lower leagues) can own a team.
US sports have a more sustainable financial structure with salary caps and drafts to spread the talent. But the crony capitalism you describe has no room for any form of competition that might rein in profits.
I had thought European football was crazy town, but you make a good case that US owners are crazier (like a fox).