Almanac Basketball: The F-word at play in Not Bad Thanks seventh premiership

 

The Footy Almanac has been following the trials and tribulations of the Not Bad Thanks Basketball Club since the 1980-formed one-team club emerged in 2018 through the book Not Bad Thanks, by Graeme Willingham. [Read more about this brilliant club and their celebrated book HERE.]

 

National basketball treasure, Lindsay Gaze wrote in the book’s foreword: “Although this is a fascinating example of camaraderie, humour and perseverance, this is also a fine description of Australian culture, of mateship, history and lifestyle.”

 

The Almanac’s Mark Miller wrote: “Willingham’s playful documentation of the origin and history of NBT exceeds black-and-white statistical analysis and results like most clubs. Instead, emphasising a sporting club’s role in maintaining and strengthening friendships – the lifeblood of grassroots sport.”

 

The book subsequently won Basketball Victoria’s 2019 Media Award for its portrayal of the game at the community level.

 

Playing in the Victorian Business Houses competition at MSAC, NBT, as it is registered, had won just six premierships in 70 seasons. It is now in the new Melbourne Central Basketball Association, at MSAC.

 

News comes, though, that NBT has won its seventh flag, making it seven from 86!

 

Apparently, this too was won in unlikely circumstances. Graeme Willingham reports.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The F-word at play in Not Bad Thanks seventh premiership

 

How NBT won the premiership mirrors the club’s other unlikely pathways to the big prize. Then again, nothing’s normal about NBT. It has a club anthem and other songs, rituals, Clubrooms and honour board, a poet laureate, statistics, musical director, patrons, newsletters, life members, club handshake, club caps and T shirts, and, season awards dinners including an award for most fouls.

 

This time round, NBT was sitting 5-5 at the halfway mark of Season 2022-23 in MCBA’s B Grade.

 

NBT ultimately ended third, on percentage, with a 13:7 ratio, but not before the F-word had kicked in. Two of the last five fixtured games NBT won on forfeit which also carried 20-0 scorelines to boost percentage. Absolute risk-free gifts at the pointy end of the season, although, NBT players would prefer to play their weekly game.

 

The F-word re-emerged in the semi in another advantageous twist. Rivals Wizards applied to forfeit because they suddenly had only four players, due to injuries and players being away on school holidays. No way, said MCBA. It’s legal to start with four, they asserted. Honours were even during the season – 22-46 and 46-35 – so a close encounter was expected. NBT cruised to a 71-32 win. Into the GF.

 

The Weathermen were favoured to win the premiership, given their 80-48 and 53-43 wins over NBT.

 

While there was no forfeit to be had here, there was another curve in NBT’s favour.

 

NBT was well-equipped for the big game. Czar, Bullitt, Scoop, Rower, Large, Axe, Flash, Biscuit and Plasma were ready.  And, with a plan to restrict Weathermen’s star player, #8, who averaged 20 points a game. He was the top scorer in the grade.

 

Strangely, #8 didn’t appear on the court until the 8-minute mark. Uncharacteristically, he was on and off the court in short bursts, scoring 11 points and 5 fouls for the game. More court time and he might have had his 20. Seems he had a broken hand and was told not to play at all! Brave effort.

 

Even so, without him on the court, NBT gave Weathermen an 8-point start. Ever so slowly, NBT clawed their way back to lead 20-18 at the break. It was a high-tensile arm-wrestle type of game with defences on top. That’s how the game continued, with the lead changing several times.

 

NBT’s Court Captain, Czar, describes the heart-stopping end of the game. “A few minutes to go, we were down by 3 points and not looking good. We had a good lead of 4 points a few minutes before, but the tide had turned. Again, it wasn’t looking good. To add: they were sinking every one of their foul shots; and, we were not. But something happened. Most likely a Bullitt extra effort to jar the ball loose and run after it. I can’t remember. I do remember looking at one their foul shots and thinking “shit; we’ve stuffed it”. But we hadn’t. Two points down, 1.44 to go, while everyone was playing tentatively, Plasma received the ball at the foul line and jumped like a jumping jack for a jump shot. The shot went in. He was fouled. He made the foul shot. We were suddenly up by one. It was not the last drama of the game, though, because Large had two foul shots with 30+ seconds left and Weathermen called a time out. I thought “I think we’re in here!”. In the huddle, Large said that he should hit at least one of them so let’s not foul as we will be up by at least 2 points. As it turned out he missed both, and down the other end we went. The end was a remarkable almost unbelievable parallel with NBTs 2007 drought-breaking premiership. In both games they had the ball with 30 seconds to go. In both games we were 1 point up. Again, in both games the opposition had two shots at winning the game after they luckily got an offensive rebound. And again, in both games after the second attempt (this time due to Large’s defence) they missed and the ball spilled out to us. Siren sounds. Victory 36-35.”

 

MSAC rang to the club’s Lord Albert leading a high-gusto rendition of The NBT Anthem (“Enn Bee Tee” sung over and over to the tune of Silent Night), which, again, swivelled the heads of players warming up on the adjoining courts. Broad smiles grew on the faces of MCBA officials who, sadly, had never witnessed NBT’s victorious theatrics.

 

In a ramshackle trophy presentation ceremony, players took away pint glass mugs, badged just with sandblasted “MCBA Premiers”. Soon, the dozen mugs were plonked on the bar at The NBT Clubrooms (aka The Emerald) for mine host Andy Lewis to “fill ‘em up”. It was an enormous task, which Andy managed, several times.

 

The NBT playing squad — supported by Tinnie and Doktor who never played enough games plus Kooka, 2x6Packs and Lord Albert, three ‘temporarily non-active’ players (no-one retires as a player at NBT) — gathered under The NBT Steve O’Baugh Memorial Golden Elbow honour board, acclaiming the player who most ‘gives it heaps’ each season. They sang the Anthem, again.

 

The next night, Plasma — the player making that defining last score — was adjudged the winner, his eighth “GE”, as they call it. Also, he tied with Scoop to win The Bloody Gloves Bowl for the most fouls (38). Czar won his 46th Squeaker’s Basket for the most points (180).

 

This event was also at The Clubrooms. Later, in front of the board, they sang The Anthem, again.

 

They do go on a bit, too, with their facts and figures. For example, with his eight GE titles, Plasma is now the second most decorated Elbowist in the world, behind Czar with 17. He also became NBT’s first triple Premiership Elbowist (2011-12, 2014-15, 2022-23), another World First. Other Premiership Elbowists are Fast Eddie (1992), Axe (2007), Czar (2010-11) and Large (2012-13).

 

See what I mean?

 

Now, with Bullitt stepping aside to play football and Large and Rower declaring that business will restrict them to just late games, NBT wrestles with finding the numbers each week in its 87th season … to avoid using the F-word.

 

 

Read more about this brilliant club and their celebrated book HERE.

 

 

 

 

 

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Our writers are independent contributors. The opinions expressed in their articles are their own. They are not the views, nor do they reflect the views, of Malarkey Publications.

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