[with apologies to Warren Zevon, C. J. Dennis and Rod Carter]
He was born in Macleod by the Hurstbridge line.
He started playing tackers in the under-9s.
He was always on the move, always in a hurry.
Rocket Rod dreamed he was Kevin Murray.
He grew up playing with the big bad boys
and was soon recruited by the Mighty Roys
where he learnt the backman’s bag of tricks
…but Christ, the bugger couldn’t kick.
Whenever Rod Carter tried to get cute,
a mongrel punt sailed off the side of his boot.
Tilt’s great talent was stirring forwards up.
He’d pinch em on the arse, punch em in the guts.
Didn’t matter how good, how tough or how large,
he’d always treat em to an ear massage.
But after six years the Roys moved him on
and Rocket Rod became a Swan.
The Sydney crowd loved him. They cheered his name.
Rod ‘Tilt’ Carter was blessed with fame.
Superboot, Plugger, Jacko, BT,
all dreaded their trips to the SCG
where Tilt was waiting in the square
to greet them with an icy stare.
He never missed a beat on his SCG patrol.
But deep inside Tilt yearned to kick a goal.
It was against the Dees in ’86,
he inched towards the big white sticks.
In the final term he found some space
and yelled to Capper, pleading his case.
The Wiz looked up and was truly shocked,
but for the first time ever…dished it off
to Tilt, who set sail from forty metres out.
Twenty thousand fans were filled with doubt.
The ball veered left…then drifted right.
The Swanettes prayed with all their might
to God and Roy Cazaly’s Ghost
…and somehow that ball squeezed through the posts.
A bevy of Swans descended on Tilt’s back.
Dr Edelsten almost had a heart attack.
Hafey applauded. Leanne saw the light.
The Opera House was painted red and white.
And the chant of ‘Tilt’ resounded in his ears.
His only bloody goal in thirteen years.
Read more from Damian Balassone HERE
More poetry from Almanac Poetry can be read HERE
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About Damian Balassone
Damian Balassone is a failed half-forward flanker who writes poetry. He is the author of 'Strange Game in a Strange Land'.
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I love this Damian. Tilt Carter reminds me of my old Tech Drawing teacher at Mt Lofty HS in Toowoomba whose actual name I can’t recall but was known universally by the students as 45 degrees. To add to his unusual head tilt he was also missing two fingers on his left hand, a feature we couldn’t ignore each time he held a set square up against the blackboard when demonstrating how to draw whatever it was we were learning.
While on the subject of teachers I remember for their actions rather than their names, I’ll never forget my year 8 maths teacher’s comment when I pointed out that someone had scratched out the L G & E on one of our Algebra books: “That’s a very uplifting book”.