The Pre Wrap: Round VII

For the Philosophical Marngrook Follower

Ciad Mile Failte.  What a week it’s been in Football Eddie.  On Monday, the Carlton Leadership Group came out in support of the Coach.   Then the Chairman of the Board came out in support of the Leadership Group AND the Coach.  Crikey, how bleak must things be at the Little Ground Along Royal Parade that they need all this support?  But it does raise the question, if the Leadership Group are 100% behind the Coach, and the Board is 100% behind the coach, does that mean the Coach has 200% support?  Mind you, we haven’t heard from The Long Suffering Visy Park Faithful.  They may be minus 100% behind the Coach.  (Which would leave the Coach with only 100% support.  It’s easy to see from whence the confusion arises Wrap – Ed)  And while we haven’t heard from the Playing Group, it may be fair to assume they’re 100% behind their Leadership Group AND the Coach.  Then there’s the rest of The Competition; they’re most certainly 100% ahead of the Playing Group, the Leadership Group, the Coach and the Board.  Fair dinkum, you’d need the brainpower of The Mighty Flynn to work this one out.

Tuesday was Budget Night but the breaking news was from Lausanne.  It certainly deflated any impact Joseph Benedict Hockey’s pronouncements were ever going to have on the nation.  WADA are taking the EFC to Le Tribunal Arbitral du Sport.  The players involved will be allowed to play on during the hearing of The World Anti-doping Body’s appeal against the AFL anti-doping tribunal’s not guilty verdict on the Essendon Thirty Four.  This has been going on for over two years now Wrappers, 27 months in fact.  That’s getting on a bit really, isn’t it?  The gestation period of an elephant is only 21 months.  (So you reckon that’s what all those elephants were doing in the room Wrap?  You may be onto something Old Son.  There were certainly enough elephants in the room to trigger a pile of gestation – Ed)  Downright Lie & Procrastynate have cancelled all leave rosters and notified their bankers to be prepared for a tsunami of largesse ashing into their account.

What is it with soccer administration?  They’ve been borderline dysfunctional for decades.  Never mind the various bitter enmities the roundball game has perpetuated from the Old Country, enmities that have spilt out onto the pitch and the streets.  While it’s not altogether a thing of the past, it’s not as in your face as it has been.  No, that’s not what’s playing out at the moment.  It’s the lack of a 50K seat stadium in which to play the A League GF.  That’s fair enough you’d suppose – to be a bit crooked when your premier event is throttled in that way.  So why is it so?  The Swan Street Stadium won’t hold much more than 30K.  Why, because when it was built there was some deal in place with Docklands & the government that no stadium with a capacity greater than 30K would be built in Melbourne until after 2010.  How stupid is that?  And how weak were the government and/or the Rectangular Codes to acquiesce?  (Better still, who thought they could dictate those sorts of terms to the elected government of the people in the first place? – Ed)   Thankfully some foresighted architect designed the foundations so the capacity could later be increased to 50K.  The roof would have to be demolished to achieve that target, but hey, it’s only money.  Further to all that, why shouldn’t the Sporting Capital of the Nation have a 50K Rectangular Stadium?  Dumb.  Dumb.  Dumb.  But that’s not what’s irking us around here in the Wrapcave right now.  No, far from it.  After not being able to convince the Bracks’ government that they play their football on a rectangular pitch and also vote, they now expect everyone to shift their scheduling around because they hadn’t thought ahead to where in the world they were going to play their 2015 GF if a Melbourne team won the hosting rights.  But that’s not all that’s irking us.  What about that $43m of taxpayers’ money they blew when they allowed Frank Lowy to launch his doomed bid for the World Cup?  (Is he the same Frank Lowy who founded Westfield Group?  The same Westfield Group with more than 50 subsidiaries based in one of those Channel Island tax havens?  You saying he should have covered the Long Suffering Australian Taxpayer for the one vote he was able to secure with our $43m? Good luck with that Wrap – Ed)  What I am saying Oh Renown Reworker of The Written Word is that $43m could have been better spent to further the interests of all those who chase their pigskin on a rectangular field.  Not on some glory chasing junket for a bunch of egos at the AFF.

Never mind the man Who Broke The Bank at Monte Carlo.  If Ladbrokes keep going the way they’re going on that Ex-Carlton players v Current Carlton Players scores this season they may find themselves having to call in some reinforcements.  The Exxs are leading the Currents so far and are really hitting some form.  (Be careful, Chris Yarran’s back this week – Ed)

But enough of my gabbin’.  Let’s see who still going to be in Football Heaven after Round VII.

The Same Olds v The Shinboners v on The Paddock That Grew, tonight.  Professor Gadget is back for the Gilders, but they’ve lost Zaharakis.  Three cheers for Fletch for breaking some record or other, but they’ll miss Zaharakis in a side that has been struggling to play out the Full Hundred Minutes.  The Soupboners have been thereabouts but haven’t beaten anyone above them.  Fortunately, in this instance, Essendon aren’t above them so it may be safe to tip them.  And at $1.57 The Bagmen have their value about right.  But be wary Investors, if The Dons can roll out their best game for the full match they’ll come close to snatching this one.  They don’t lose too many if they’re close at the death.  If there’s a blowout it will be The Roos.  We’re saying it will be tight, but still North.

The Free Settlers v The Feeling Faints v in the Shadow of Mt Lofty for the early one on Saturday.  The Sainters were brave last week and their courage was rewarded.  Both sides have heaps of forward firepower and if this develops into a free-flowing shootout it will be a ripper.  We were so close to tipping The Seagulls last week, we even had the reasons why written up on the white board, but we piked out.  Not too sure about this week.  The Crows are home in front of the Rabid Adelaide Mob.  Rooey and the Bruce Machine will give Talia & Cheney a run for their money but The Pride of South Australia look too strong in the midfield.  The Homeside to prevail in a seesawing thriller.

The Family Club v The Fuchsias on the traditional ground at the traditional time.  No Watts, no Newton, no Pederson, no Kennedy-Harris.  No Melbourne.  The Hawks, in a filthy mood after their humiliating loss to The Orange Giants and their lack-lustre start to the season.  We’re saying they’re about to take full vengeance on the raiders who laid a takeover bid on them all those years ago.  (It was three premierships ago actually – Ed)

Carlton v GWS on the Shifting Sands in the gathering gloom.  This is not the same side that went down to The Boys From Old Fitzroy last week.  In are Carrazzo, White, Yarran, Tutt, Watson, Menzel & Dick.  Walker was the only forced change.  The Orangemen turn up at Docklands unchanged.  A big match for Mickey & The Bluebaggers.  Also for The Leviathans.  They need to carry their form against TRP through to Saturday to be taken seriously.  Mick needs to notch a win, or at least save some percentage to avoid adding this year’s Coveted Sylvan Shield to his illustrious coaching achievements.  (You putting a win out of the question here Wrap – Ed)  We’re saying is that The Goliaths are the genuine article.  And on a dry ground against an unsettled backline, they’ll boot The Sweep.

The Tinseltowners v The Moggies at the Other Olympic Park for the free-to-air match on Saturday night.  The Handbags were loaded with housebricks last Friday night and there were Black&White feathers all over the shop.  The birds they’re taking on this time are a bird of a different feather.  They’re a heap more aggressive to start with, and should have far too much for The Aging Pussies.  The Geelong backline v Tippett & Franklin will be worth bringing a load of apples up from Tumbarumba to catch, before slipping back down to the cold country, but it’s The Bloods for ours.  And that $1.30 floating around is worth a serious look.

West Coast v Gold Coast at Domain Stadium on Saturday night.  The Eddie Eagles will win this and win it comfortably.  Grab as much of the $1.13 as they’ll let you take and sit back for the ride.  The Wedgies in the Wrap Investment Opportunity of The Round.

The Bullies v The Mauve Miasma under cover for the early one.  The Saints stole the Doggies’ bone last week in a Comeback for The Ages.  The Barry Crockers did what they had to do against The Faltering Essendon.  A big test here for both sides.  The Tricolours are playing some exciting Footy but wandered off message in the second half last week.  Young Dogs will do that to you.  If Luke Beveridge has them back on track they’ll give The Stevedores a run for their money.  Look, as much as we’d like to see them get up, we just don’t think they’re quite ready for this Dangerous Dockers Combination.  Ladbrokes have The Visitors in to $1.22.  Worth a look but probably more value on the line.  If you can’t get into AAMI Stadium for the soccer final don’t despair.  Stay on the Wattle Park tram to Docklands.  It’s a lay down misere; you’ll see more goals in the first ten minutes than you’ll see all day at Swan Street.  The Anchormen to prevail in a bottler for ours.

Struggletown v Carringbush on The Paddock That Grew at the traditional time on the Sunday.  The Woodsmen were being touted as Top Four Contenders a fortnight ago.  They’re still third on The Table, but they look a bit exposed.  Their effort last week was sub-standard, and unacceptable.  They’ll have had that explained to them at Tuesday’s pie night, we’re sure.  A similar message would have gone out to the Playing Group at Punt Road.  The VFL Tigers are sitting 3^rd on The Ladder and they’ve drawn McBean & Menadue from that list to cover the loss of Newman and the omission of Gordon & Astbury.  TLSPRF have been waiting years for McBean’s body to harden up for his senior debut.  Of a similar build and athleticism as Joe Daniher, he plays CHF, forward ruckman.  The Maggies have dropped Armstrong and have listed Fasolo, Gault, Seedsman & De Goey as his replacement.  (If he’s that good, why did they drop him in the first place – Ed)  Either side could win this, although it’s only fair to point out that The Pies really haven’t beaten anyone yet.  On the other hand, the Tiges haven’t even beaten those whom they were supposed to beat.  It’s crunch time around at Tigerland.  We all know they have the innate talent to take it up to the best of them and are flummoxed as to why they can’t put that talent into a winning style of Football.  They haven’t beaten their Traditional Rivals from the other side of Victoria Street for yonks.  We’re saying that this is the time to do it.  And yes Wrappers, The Striped Marvels, at $2.10, are the Wrap Roughie of The Round.

The Brissy Lions v The Power From Port under the palms to wind up Round VII.  The Maroons broke through for their first win of the 2015 Toyota Premiership Season last round, albeit against The Troubled Silvertails.  Their Opponents haven’t been travelling all that well, however, they should be able to account for The Lions, even up at The Gabbatoir.  That having been said, SOTG & Punters alike will be watching for signs that The Tealers have regained some of their 2014 form.  The investment looks safe and the earnings commensurable with the risk.  The Power from Port, at $1.18, is the Wrap Mortgage Buster for Round VII.

Good tipping and even better punting.

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