The Ballad of Dogs and Magpies

The Ballad of Dogs and Magpies

by Andrew Gigacz

The Magpies won

The Bulldogs lost

It was to be expected

But ’twas a game

Of Dogs too tame

And needs to be dissected

Before the match

The pundits said

“The Dogs have nought to lose”

So you would think

With that in mind

A “risk it” plan they’d choose

But no, not once

Did they appear

To ever roll the dice

It’s not unfair

To say they were

As timid as ten mice

The Magpies ran

And ran again

And never thought of stopping

The Dogs stood back

And said “this is

A hiding we are copping”

The Magpies pushed

And rubbed the Dogs’

Scared faces in the dirt

And Bulldog fans

Revised their plans

Of “no more finals hurt”

The Pies’ fans can

Now dare to dream

Of bringing home the Cup

While Doggies fans

Can just look back

And say “our team’s f*cked up”

About Andrew Gigacz

Well, here we are. The Bulldogs have won a flag. What do I do now?


  1. A man stood on the burning deck
    His name was Rodney Eade
    “The flag was our in 2010”
    All the pundits had agreed

    But something fouled the Doggies sails
    and then kick them is the knacker.
    A small key forward with too much cheek
    The man we know as Aker.

    With Cooney out and Johnno sore
    the sea began the bubble
    Where were the boys from the Western Burbs
    as their session was in trouble

    The night began with gales forecast
    but the Pies had pulled up ancher
    The Good ship Dog was all ablaze
    the Pies come out out and sank her


  2. Gigs – hate to say it but you could leave the last “up” off.

  3. Gigs,
    I was near the interchange bench. Too often, players came “half off” and then returned…there was great uncertainty. mMalthouse, Buckley or whoever had Rocket severely rattled and he lost. The players were awful. Gilbee has been terrible. Gis needs to get rid of the strut and find some credibility. We are shot I fear. are you going this week?

  4. John Butler says

    I think the worst loss to your structure has been Morris.

    Easily your most versatile defender, even more so than Lake.

    I keep thinking about the cracks in the psyche they revealed against the Saints early in the year.

    Something was amiss before the injuries.

  5. Crio, I will be going. And I expect a vastly improved effort.

    JB, I have no doubt that most of the Dogs’ troubles are above the shoulders. As good as Morris is, I think Cooney’s loss has been more keenly felt. But what annoys me is the apparent attitude of the players to the loss of those two – almost one of “roll over and die”.

    Compare that to St Kilda, Collingwood and Geelong and the way their players have responded to such adversity this year. Not sure whose fault that is but it must be addressed, or there will be no flag for decades to come.

  6. Gigs, the Dogs are a wonderful team! I believe they will bounce back this week and find some of that sterling form from earlier in the season.

    I don’t think it’s fair to compare WB’s woes to those of the other top-4 teams – yours far outweigh any of ours. Geelong has had a few injuries, but nowhere near the severity of amount that the dogs have been plagued with. And don’t underestimate the effect of a pandemic flu. Besides, we luckily had back-up players who could slot nicely into the team – not every club has this luxury.

    The Dogs aren’t just battling one team, they’re battling the universe. But they’re too good a club to just sit back and watch the season pass them by. This is do or die. And the Doggies will do.

  7. C’mon Gigs, chin up.

  8. Don’t worry, Bill. My chin has well and truly risen since that day. Bring on 2011 and Zephi!!

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