Getting out to the Almanac launch

by Julia Harrison


After downing a (prescribed) Valium, getting Mum to drop contraband skinny jeans and digesting an unpalatable banana flavoured Ensure Plus supplement drink my cousin Jess signed me out of the clinic I’ve been residing in for five days and we headed off in her shitheap of a car to the Clyde Hotel. My anxiety was high (hence the Valium) as I knew no one at the event outside the Internet realm – bar one Year 9 teacher, cheers Mr G – and my promised accompanying buddy Ed had bailed due to his flight to France being bumped up. Nevertheless, the lovely Jessica had agreed on short notice to skip her best mate’s 19th pre drinks and come along.

After finding a car park closer to Leonardo Dicaprio’s current hotel of residence in Sydney whilst filming ‘Gatsby’ than the pub we had a pump up dance in car dance to Calvin Harris then headed to the bar. I felt a complete wanker wearing a footy guernsey off season – and a Richmond one at that. Once arrived, and in usual unsocial mode, I bought Jess a sizable portion of wedges and we retreated to the beer garden where I chain smoked and Jess heroically endeavoured to finish the whole bowl.

Hands linked, together we ventured inside to see if contact with others was within our capacities. Had a brief but enjoyable meeting with the commendable and lovely John Harms, picked up the books and had the pleasure of meeting a number of almanackers. Speeches were crass and hilarious, just how I like ’em, and the oration suitably impressed Jess that the launch was a worthwhile event. Dad texted me “How is it?” “Stellar.” I replied “Jess is a saint.” Ever the comedian, John replied, “Thought she was a Hawk?”

After a few quick signages and several elder gentlemen mistaking Jessie for a waitress and helping themselves to some wedges and sour cream the clinic curfew drew near and I was wary of metaphorical beating. In terms of my new status as an 18 year old the night involved only the witness of others enjoying a decent imbibe and a strictly enforced curfew as well as a hospital band poorly hidden under a multitude of mismatched bracelets. All seemed to have a tremendous time.


  1. Great stuff Julia. Gutsy getting yourself up and about for the launch, and sharing your wit and insights.
    I know I felt quite morose over here in Perth on Thursday night. Its great that the Almanac is a real live community in Melbourne and not just an on-line one. I’m jealous. Would love to put a face and share a drink with all that accumulated knowledge, passion and humour. My 2012 resolution will be to create something similar over here. Thanks for the reminder of the diversity of Knackers.

  2. John Butler says

    Onya Julz

    You did better than I, who stayed in bed sick.

    If the speeches were to the usual standard, they aspired to sophisticated but ended up nearer crass, praying for hilarious. Seems to be our furrow. :)

    Hope to catch you at a lunch or suchlike. (and keep writing :))

  3. Peter- cheers and I’m glad you got a little bit of a vicarious experience out of it. The FA really is a community. RE: Harm’s email feel free to send me a message, always happy to proffer any assistance/advice I’m capable of and there’s a load of free time in here.
    JB – Hope you’re feeling better and I’ll finally get to meet you in ’12!

  4. Good to meet you Julia. Glad you had the balls to make the first move in coming over to us lol.

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