Smells like team spirit

Cheyenne’s first impressions inside the G eerily echoed the end of the day. (Cheyenne and Running Dear had purposely avoided the horrible INXS coverband, sitting on the lawn outside the ground, only entering the Shrine at 2.10pm. The real INXS were bad enough, but this reincarnation had to be missed.)

Our seats were near where the Pies ran out, and Cheyenne always visits the loo for a pre-game piss, as all fifty-somethings with dodgy plumbing should do. Everywhere, outside the ground and in, the Collingwood army was in awesome strength, and the toilets were no exception. However, something strange was going on. Usually there’s a huge crush to get to the urinals, but not many waiting for a smelly cubicle. But yesterday there were hardly any pissers, and the cubicles had lines of up to eight waiting in line. Nearly all Magpiemen, with bellies full of the takeaway crap that Pie fans live on.

Cheyenne held his breath and his lean tummy tight as he walked from the Mens’, for once not being able to read the wind, due to the stench. But the wind was still there, and was probably readable for a Cheyenne brave with an inability to smell. By five o’clock the sewers had burst from the overload of Magpie crap, and the teams had to relocate to the rooms on the other side of the G to escape from the horror.

A draw throws up so many possibilities. Next week the corporates will be off on their next freebie – maybe a Grand Prix in Europe, or the (even smellier) Commonwealth Games, and thousands more real footy fans will be able to go. Even smelly Pie fans deserve to be there.

Cheyenne feels for the poor US band McKenna (how’s that for a sign?), who came all the way out here to play their “Last One Standing” theme at the end of the game, but now will have to reassess. Cheyenne urges all the whingeing Aussies rockers to face the facts – it’s a good footy song, and the best since “Up There Cazaly”. If we must have a lightweight local footy song beating a great overseas concoction, let’s have the Upwey Primary School write one and mime it before the game? Since “Cazaly” Several Aussie rockers (including Cheyenne’s alter-ego) have attempted the feat, and all have come up short.

Ross Lyon now has the ability to start Gilbert forward, making Maxwell honest and giving us extra marking power up forward, to start Ray on Swan, bring in the unlucky Ben (if Gardi’s out), and prey on the Pies mentally. Kosi’s run into form and Blake was amazing in the ruck and smashed the ball out of bounds 3 times in the last minute.

Surely this time the opposition won’t be blessed with shots from the carpark (Didak) and botched torpedoes (Thomas) from outside 50 that change direction ten times before fluking their way through.

Hopefully Neon gets another chance to show he can’t cut it in the tough games, and a creaking Presti comes in.

An improvement in delivery to our forwards should see the Saints home smelling sweet, and the Pies calling for a plumber.

Cheyenne Autumn


  1. Hope you’re right about this Saturday, Cheyenne.

    Maybe it’s no coincidence that SAINT KILDA is an anagram of DIAL-A-STINK…

  2. Herri Batasuna says

    After the wierdness of INXS and those extras from A Mighty Wind doing the anthem, if anyone can do something about the music, it would be Billy/Cheyenne.

    All week we’ve heard how rough and tough and brave and heroic Saturday’s combatants were, and that the replay promises to be an even more epic battle to the death. And that the AFL would be getting ‘someone big’ to do the preamble, and AC/DC or some other monumental cockrocker with swinging axes, big noise and bad attitude are hinted at. And Gudinski and Andy serve up Lionel Richie!! Gee.

    Is Lionel planning Once, Twice, Three Times a Grand Final, or All Night Long for extra time?

    Angry Anderson, all is forgiven…

  3. I know Adam Hills has the Anthem to “Working Class Man”. Much as I respect the classics, I can’t really wrap my head around it as such.

    A long while ago an acquaintance in a guitar duo did the Anthem to the tune of “Gilligan’s Island”. Epic.

    Lionel Richie? Really? No, really???? Are they trying to keep people away?

  4. Rocket Rod Gillett says

    On ya Billy – just hope that you get a few choice lyrics from the final minutes of this week’s GF to supplement the 1966 piece for the next Ferrett’s gig!

    Carna Sainters!

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