Almanac Autographs: Signature moments

 

“Hi Tommy, can you please sign my hat?”

 

My sports mad son had waited patiently for BBL batsman Tom Cooper to wander past with his thick club issued marker.

 

“I think I signed this one last week mate” replied Tommy, pointing to his moniker on the crowded red Renegades cap.

 

“Don’t worry, just sign it again please” responded my son.

 

Two Tommy’s remain prominent on my son’s hat whilst the batsman signed with the Brisbane Heat soon after.

 

On the train home, I cornered my son with largely uninteresting tales of hard-fought signature gets from the 70s, a time when kids charged onto VFL grounds with pocket sized books in a wild chase for that elusive scribble.

 

A recently rediscovered dusty brown autograph book bears testament to that bygone era of fleeting and mostly forgotten childhood encounters. A swathe of Blues premiership legends (Jesaulenko, Harmes, Southby) sit intermingled with opposition heroes (Barker, Schimmelbusch, Blight), test cricketers and assorted randos.

 

With diminishing frequency, the signature moments continued to accumulate over the years in some unconventional ways.

 

 

Rino Pretto – Doncaster – 1976

 

Rino was my first. He dropped into Doncaster Heights U10 training in full Fitzroy tracksuit whereby twenty boys clung to him like a god. It was the first time a bona-fide VFL footballer had entered our world and Rino was the real deal. Huge. Imposing. Heroic.

 

He ran a few drills, kicked some long bombs and handed out pre-prepared signatures on an official Fitzroy letterhead at the ensuing pie night. I stared at mine for weeks and dreamt of being a VFL star.

 

Rino played one game of VFL football for Fitzroy.

 

 

Jack Hamilton – Somewhere – 1970s.

 

It remains highly perplexing as to why a young footy fan would request a signature from an aging VFL administrator. I have no idea how we’d come to be in each other’s orbit.

 

 

Bob Pratt – Noosa – 70s

 

My Auntie Gwen loves a chat.

 

On a Noosa holiday, she struck up an extended gardening conversation with the Pratts who were staying in the same unit complex. A fleeting holiday friendship resulted in Gwenny procuring a personalised message from VFL legend Bob to her footy mad nephew Bob.

 

Bob Pratt passed away in 2001. My piece of cherished personalised cardboard is a small reminder of his gargantuan 1934 150 goal achievement.

 

It remains unclear as to whether Aunt Gwenny ever enjoyed gardening.

 

 

 

Mal Michael – Santiago, Chile – 2008.

 

South America’s first AFL team, the Santiago Saints was established in 2008 and hosted an AFL Grand Final function that same year (Almanac Life: How to establish footy on a continent (in three parts) (footyalmanac.com.au).

 

With 100 or so tickets sold for a city pub venue, a small batch of hastily arranged AFL memorabilia was sent across the Pacific to be auctioned for club coffers.

 

Some half-arsed bidding for a signed Mal Michael Brisbane jersey ensued with the winner shelling out $300 for the privilege. Come time for payment, the buyer was informed that Mal had actually been playing for Essendon that year.

 

The Brisbane fan shrugged and handed over the money, correctly surmising that it was the only place to buy a Brisbane Lions jumper in the Chilean capital.

 

 

Lloyd Cole – Thornbury – 2014

 

His new Rattlesnakes CD could be heard blaring from my cousin Al’s Ford Cortina on an 80’s road trip to Adelaide. Al had installed some thumping new Alpine speakers and gave The Commotions a strong run between Ballarat and Tailem Bend.

 

Thirty years on, the English crooner informed his adoring crowd at the Thornbury Theatre that he’d be happy to sign anything after the show, as long as it wasn’t alive.

 

Perhaps fuelled by a largely liquid dinner, I joined the line, requested a signature on his new CD and posed for an awkward joint photo with an eclectic greying stranger, six years my senior. It was my first autograph request in decades and the thought of it still makes me cringe.

 

 

Bruce Doull – Melbourne – 1978

 

Upon securing a rare signature from the Flying Doormat, my older sister desecrated the prized page with some unwanted verse;

 

              Roses are red, violets are blue

              The rain on the roof, reminds me of you

              Drip, drip, drip

 

              Julie Spurr 1978

 

 

Wallabies – Jakarta – 2001

 

AFL Grand Final telecasts in the Indonesian capital are epic affairs with up to 700 guests seated for breakfast alongside a panel of AFL stars flown in for the occasion.

 

The charity auctions are eagerly anticipated with breakfast margaritas loosening lips and hip pockets in equal measure.

 

A Wallabies jersey signed by 1999 World Cup winning team had some cross-code punters excited that year, with the auctioneer running a bruising ten-minute process.

 

Bids came in thick and fast in multiples of Indonesia rupiah which had been crippled in the aftermath of the Asian financial crisis.

 

Egged on by his tablemates, the eventual winner was the toast of the Hilton ballroom with some sustained bidding seeing off all-comers.

 

Soon after, his morning soured more than the breakfast margaritas upon realising he’d butchered the exchange rate and bid the guernsey up to A$6,500 instead of his A$650 budget.

 

As word spread, he became an even bigger toast of the Hilton ballroom.

 

The guernsey was paid off in 10 equal instalments.

 

 

 

Denis Law – Manchester – 1988

 

Denis bagged 237 goals for Manchester United, a feat only bettered by Wayne Rooney and Bobby Charlton. He won the Ballon D’or in 1956 and remains Scotland’s most famous international.

 

That would have been handy knowledge at the time.

 

Not yet 21, Nick and I were visiting the northern city on a concert tour of the UK with the Preston Brass Band. Whilst strolling through central Manchester, an excited stranger pointed out that Denis Law was signing a few autographs in the shop next door. Always up for meeting an unknown celeb, we feigned excitement and ducked in to secure his moniker.

 

Denis, as it turns out, was a lovely guy who, upon hearing our accents, sat us down for an extended chat. With a small crowd milling, he spoke glowingly of Melbourne whilst displaying a genuine curiosity as to why we would be wandering around the streets of his adopted city.

 

Nick gave him the spiel on the concert tour and Denis, somewhat surprisingly, informed us how much he and his wife enjoyed brass band music. Lifting expectations somewhat, he then enquired as to how he could buy tickets for the following night’s gig in Warrington.

 

Some rudimentary football chat followed as he signed a couple of autographs which concluded with me casually asking how many times he had represented England.

 

The audible gasps were drowned out only by Denis’ more audible laughter. My howler really got him going.

 

The following night in Warrington, the band played to a full house. Whilst Denis was unsighted, for the first and only time in my life I was asked to sign an autograph on a concert program.

 

Like Denis and his wife, the folks from Warrington really enjoy their brass bands.

 

 

You can read more from Rob Spurr Here.

 

 

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Our writers are independent contributors. The opinions expressed in their articles are their own. They are not the views, nor do they reflect the views, of Malarkey Publications.

 

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