Secret Cloke list revealed

The following clubs have yet to confirm their expression of interest in the services of Mr T Cloke, footballer.

Aberfeldie Junior Football Club
Brunswick Bocce Club
Creswick Croquet Club
Donald Darts Club
Elsternwick Elderly Citizens Club
Fairhaven Surf Life Saving Club
Geraldton Golf Club
Hopetoun Hookey Club
Ipswich Football Club (U.K)
Jurien Junior Football Club
Kalgoorlie-Boulder Carpet Bowls Club
Lancefield Lacrosse Club
Manchester United Football Club
Newtown & Chilwell Chess Club
Otway Districts Netball Club
Port Fairy Folk Music Club
Queenstown Football Club
Real Madrid Football Club
South Melbourne Football Club
Tecoma Tennis & Trugo Club
University Football Club
Victoria University Women’s Football Club
Williamstown CYMS Amateur Football Club
Xavier College Cross Country Club
Yackandandah Yacht Club
Zeally Bay Sports Fishing Club

The following memo was recently sent by sports editors to their reporters:

Please contact the above clubs for comment. Ask if they have any Cloke-room in their salary cap. ‘Will hold the back page.
Vin Maskell is co-editor of Scoreboard Pressure, a website with no references to Mr T Cloke.

About Vin Maskell

Founder and editor of Stereo Stories, a partner site of The Footy Almanac. Likes a gentle kick of the footy on a Sunday morning, when his back's not playing up. Been known to take a more than keen interest in scoreboards - the older the better.


  1. Andrew Fithall says

    Not on that list Vin, because I believe they have actually made an offer, is the Yarraville Mouth Organ Band.

  2. Andrew, I wrote a story for The Age about the Yarraville Mouth Organ Band, nigh on 20 years ago. Back then they were looking for young blood. Probably still are. The band’s clubrooms are still part of Yarraville footy ground, I think.

  3. If i formed a book club would he join?

  4. If you did form the book club, Danielle, would you ask him to join? If so, what would be the book of choice?

  5. Yes i would ask him lol. Hmmmm Pride and Prejudice hahaha :P

  6. Good choice. See him as D or B or ?

  7. More like Mr. Wickham $$$$$ lol

  8. Lots ov pitchers an no big werds in the books Danni?

  9. Of course there is no inference to be taken regarding inadequacies in your articulation and comprehensive capability Danni. Just Trav’s.

  10. Nice save Phantom.

  11. Trav should write a book himself based on the drama of his contract called ‘The Smoke of the shows behind the windows.’

  12. Trav’s memoirs title. ‘Tats on Yer Back: Yer Can’t See’m in the Mirror”.

  13. The discussion here seems to have rather wandered off the point of the original story. I wasn’t criticising Cloke or making pot-shots at him. I was criticising the media for its laziness and lack of imagination in continuing to write about seemingly never-ending contract negotiations.

  14. Sorry Vin. It’s a very fine line with some Knackers. Keeping them under control is like herding cats.

    I did enjoy the contribution and noted it for what it was. You, however, did lose points for leaving Tassy off the map. We get a little titchy about that sort of thing.

    The ‘Black Bobs CWA Bell Ringers Group’ up behind Gretna (where young Hudson for Hawthorn used to play) have already started a media campaign in response.

    (Discount that last complaint. I just noted Queenstown FC. But apparently the three members of their local bingo club are spewing.)

  15. Mark Doyle says

    Phantom, I think your reference to leaving Tassy off the map was a faux pas because of your parochial Northern Tassy view of the world. Where is the ‘Barassi’ line in Tassy?

    Vin, I liked your reference to the Yackandandah Yacht Club because I have never seen a yacht on the small lake at Yack .- maybe a rowboat or tinny!

  16. It is referred to as the Mason – Dixon line Mark.

    It runs east west just north of Oatlands.

    We have a saying here. ‘The best way to see Hobart is through the rear view mirror of a moving car at Brighton’

    It is, however, not nearly as parochial here as the Sydney / Melbourne rivalry.

    Just to ensure that all facts are kosher. Queenstown is considered part of the north west coast. The ghost of Alexander Pearce patrols the border at Derwent Bridge. He does not allow many Hobartians through.

    And, I am sure I have seen yachts at Yackandandah – in the main street infact – after leaving a rather outrageous party when I was at a Res School at Charles Sturt University. Big Night. Tutiorials were not that good next day.

  17. ramondobb says

    Danielle, might I suggest “Fifty shades of Black and White” as your book of the month. I do very much like your “smokes and shadows” line, outstanding link.

  18. Dave Nadel says

    Phanto, Sydney/Melbourne rivalry is rivalry between the two biggest cities in the country. I note that Hobart has just been replaced by the Sunshine Coast as the tenth biggest city in Australia. It remains the biggest city in Tasmania.

    In a one hundred words or less can you explain the North/South rivalry in Tasmania?

Leave a Comment