Sausage Roll Review: Tanunda Bakery and Café – Howzat
It’s the week of the Adelaide Test and a vital plank in my psychological preparation is a drive up to the Barossa to see Mum and Dad.
Late morning, I steer along Gomersal Road which seems pot-hole free. Not before time. I’m listening to Classic FM as lots of New Year resolution lists recommend this as a calming strategy. Rachmaninov does seem more soothing than Rammstein.
Arriving at my parents’ home we chat about the following: cricket, Dad’s bowls, my park running, cricket, recent holidays, my wife Claire’s work, immediate family, our 101-year-old neighbour, cricket, extended family, and the weather including how the cool summer has meant Claire and I have done limited beach swimming.
At long last, we get to the topic of cricket.
Prior to this I luncheoned at the Tanunda Bakery and Café as part of my endless investigation into our state’s sausage roll situation. I planned to write contemporary sausage roll situation but it’s difficult to eat historical (without frozen foodstuffs from decades past) and future samples.
Inside the busy bakery someone asked cautiously if there was a queue. Another replied rather unaccommodatingly that there wasn’t, and furthermore it was entirely the responsibility of each customer to establish their spot in the order and guarantee its integrity. This seemed especially burdensome for a Monday, so I decided instead to join the apparent and flawless queue adjacent to the counter. Like many queues over the previous millennium, it worked rather well.
There were no unpleasant incidents during those 87 seconds I waited to make my purchase.
I ventured outside to the shady patio. It was inviting with numerous tables and chairs, and being the Barossa, a wooden wine barrel. For my continued safety and mystical comfort, I chose to eat by the wine barrel.
Just like most of the Tanunda footballers I encountered during my youth as a Kapunda Bomber, my sausage roll was compact and appeared competent.
A second glance was disappointing for the baked good looked a little diminished although I’m prepared to concede this might be a function of the contemporary consumer experience in which we expect everything to be excessively large including our cars, our beverages and of course, our schnitzels.
My first bite. Innocuous. Waiting for the delicious arrival of delicate spice and accompanying waft of pepper. It didn’t happen or perhaps is hugely delayed, giving me a minor zing tomorrow. The pastry was also only adequate.
Now we all know well that a sausage roll can be a cylindrical joy, a triumphant midday flourish. Either way the model in front of me, in the heart of the Barossa, was dissatisfactory.
Like Ted Mulry, I then jumped in my car and drove to Mum and Dad’s. There was cricket to chat about.
My sausage roll was purposeful rather than flavoursome. Admittedly, I had significant expectations, but these were mostly not met.
Three cricket bats out of five.
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About Mickey Randall
Now whip it into shape/ Shape it up, get straight/ Go forward, move ahead/ Try to detect it, it's not too late/ To whip it, whip it good
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The bakery queue situation here is the same. Crucial to establish your spot. Keep the sausage roll reviews coming!
Mickey – you know what they say:
Avoid disappointment/have no expectations.
I learnt that lesson long ago with regard to post 70’s Dylan albums.
Luke- I reckon queues demand a sensitive mix of assertion and acquiescence. Can be tricky.
Karl- agreed but it’s not a lesson easily learnt! Do you not rate Rowdy and Rough Ways?
Thanks for your thoughts.
Dissatisfactory? Unsatisfactory?
Karl has hit the nail on the head, I adopted the exact policy with exams, expect zero, get something…winner!!
Dropped into the Woodside branch of Lobethal Bakery on our wander up to the Barossa today. I inquired about Spinach and Ricotta sausage rolls. The lass screwed up her face uncomprehending – seeming to question what part of “sausage” I didn’t understand.
I inquired about almond croissants? “Weekend only,” she advised. Clearly a city affectation.
“We’re over from Perth visiting family” I said. Suddenly she understood – not only city people, but people from a strange city.
The apple and cinnamon scroll I settled on was suitably fresh, yeasty and fruit laden, transporting me happily back to the 1970’s. The coffees were very good. Strong dark brewed latte’s. They must have run out of Maxwell House.
Bucko – exams and zero always reminds me of this from Dean Wormer in Animal House (enduring, instructive text that it is): Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Mr. Hoover, president of Delta House—1.6. Four C’s and an F. A fine example you set. Daniel Simpson Day has no grade point average. All courses incomplete. Mr. Blu— [looks up to see that Bluto has stuck pencils up his nose] Mr. Blutarsky. [with heavy emphasis] Zero. Point. Zero.
PB- I’m pleased that your transaction was ultimately successful. Maxwell House! Haven’t considered that for a while. Enjoy the balance of your trip.
Thanks for your comments.
Re: Rough & Rowdy Ways’
1. I’ve had the album since it was released (mid 2020). I’ve played it twice since then – so perhaps that is the best gauge of how I rate it.
2. I have noted that many commentators & Dylan fans rate it as a ‘masterpiece’. I have also noted it’s significant commercial success.
Maybe I just don’t ‘get it’. I certainly didn’t find anything ‘Rough & Rowdy’ in it.
Luckily I have a dozen Dylan ‘masterpieces’ to fall back on.
Cheers.
Thanks MR, the one cooking/tasting show I would consider watching would be the one about sausage rolls. Your reviews (with such lines as, “purposeful rather than flavoursome”) are easily an excellent substitute.
As usual your stories and observations within the story are delightful and funny. Have you considered a sausage roll podcast (and trust me, I’m not joking).
Extra points for getting Rammstein in there. As a good friend noted after seeing them live, the only band in the world that Springsteen couldn’t go on after.
And Karl, c’mon, Dylan has many, many great songs and few brilliant albums post the 70s including Love and Theft, Under the Red Sky, Modern Times, Time Out of Mind, Empire Burlesque, and yes, R&RW.
Cheers
I hate the idea of oily pastry, as I know you do too! Great read Mickey. X
Thanks Karl. Appreciate your thoughts. Dylan certainly generates an opinion!
Rick- I saw Rammstein at the (2000?) Big Day Out. On just before PJ Harvey. They were equal parts hilarious and terrifying. One came on stage (I use this verb advisedly) dressed as a giant penis. It was more Spinal Tap than Spinal Tap.
Thanks Someone. Don’t forget to pick up some (skim) milk.
Bucko and Mickey I loved Brett Dutschke’s approach check the exam results on the day of enrolling no need to over exert himself.Enjoyable read disappointing sausage roll
Thanks RB. Happy birthday! No exam for you today.
3 bats out of 5?
I get the distinct impression that you were being generous with your rating.
I concede Smokie! The five-bat metric, I can now see, is probably too broad a metric. If I’d gone with a hundred, I’d have applied a score of 54 bats.
In a twist, I understand this is the exact number Steve Smith owns.
Another ripsnorter Mickey. Your sausage roll reviews (even the unfavourable ones such as this one) make me want to jump in the car and hit the country and coastal roads, in search of the perfect savoury.
And Karl, I’ll join RK in the post-70s Dylan cheer squad here. ’81 to ’83 Bob entered a mercurial period (Every Grain of Sand, Angelina, Caribbean Wind, Jokerman, Blind Willie McTell, Foot of Pride) but for some reason left a lot of great songs of albums. Love & Theft/Modern Times from 2001/2006 are outstanding. But if you ever want proof of the latter-day Dylan’s greatness, listen to the Bootleg Series Volume 8 Tell Tale Signs. (And I grant you that Rough and Rowdy Ways is uneven, but the epic Murder Most Foul is a hypnotic piece of work. I return to it time and time again).
Thanks DB.
I’m a fan of ‘Murder Most Foul’ and am intrigued by the dual dramatic contexts of the JFK assassination and Wolfman Jack playing requests: the tragic and the comic! The music is absorbing despite being almost incidental and set in the background. As one commentator noted: you could build a curriculum around it. Appreciate your encouragement and thoughts.
Hey Mickey, re your MMF observation and DB and Karl, if you haven’t read Folk Music by Greil Marcus, do yourself a Molly. He considers seven songs across Dylan’s career including MMF, giving each song a chapter. He discusses the JFK/WJ juxtaposition. I reckon you’ll like his observations or at least be intrigued by them. Cheers
Fine review that Mr Randall.
As always, whenever you’re on message about one or other of your two pet subjects, I never fail to derive some vicarious pleasure as I try to imagine the “special” – thanks Bruce – delights of your sausage roll columns. In this case your subject matter was obviously a little high, wide and handsome, but what the hell!
With respect to your other special subject, maybe we could persuade JTH to arrange a function where you interview Glenn Shorrock and Beeb Birtles quizzing them about their sausage roll experiences across the globe. We could ponder “the older times we’re missing, spending the hours reminiscing.” I’m sure Col’s arrangement of the background music would be centimetre perfect.
Just a thought.
RDL
Apropos of Roger’s suggestion I reckon Glen Shorrock would go down a treat as an Almanac lunch speaker or interview subject. I say LRB backed up by a little known NZ band (Split End) at Festival Theatre in the 80’s. Glen was in the bar afterwards signing autographs wearing a “Riddled Liver Band” T Shirt.
Kindred spirits.
Thanks Rick. A copy of the book you’ve recommended is on its way! Appreciate this.
Thanks Roger. As Glenn and family emigrated twice (!) to Elizabeth Swish might be a better interviewer so they could also speak of their shared love of the ‘Dogs although I’m unsure if Glenn or any former LRB members get out to the Ponderosa much these days.
PB – I enjoyed the recent Farnham doco and found the LRB episode interesting. The brief scene of the band in concert reminded me of how great their harmonies were. Shame that by the time Farnham came on board they were probably more dysfunctional than The Eagles.
Jeez Mickey – you Counting Crows never let up do you! Grr. Ben played a great lead guitar but his off field antics did lead some other band members astray. Still – we’ve got 2 more Grammy’s than you to show for it.
Thanks for the tip Rick. I’ll check that out. I did try his book “Invisible Republic” re The Basement Tapes some years back, but probably wasn’t in the right headspace at the time to appreciate. ‘Murder Most Foul’ is a labyrinth. I’m not sure it’s been fully untapped yet e.g. the line “we know who you are” is what the legion of demons said to Christ (as per the gospel of Luke) before he cast them out. “We know who you are. You’re Jesus of Nazareth, God’s Holy One. What do you want with us?” Bizarre. For me, personally, the song seemed to eerily forecast the later events of 2020 (it came out in March) e.g. Covid & the world in lockdown, a divided and broken America, the death of George Floyd, etc. and some of the lines “they killed him on the altar of the rising sun” and “the bloodstained banner” hit hard. And as you say Mickey, it first appears as if there is an absence of melody, but somehow it grows on you and the subtle chord changes become monumental, and you just have to go along for the ride, cherishing every moment.
PB- I thought we were a big chance for an MTV award in 2017 under Pyke and with Walker and Cameron in our forward line. Yes, Tex, Don and Charlie went well until they fell victim to the old curse of musical differences.
Although not a big fan of his post-Twilights material, I did obtain Glenn S’ autobiography, which had much Elizabeth content. However, since the Dogs once had a Swanee-penned theme song in the 80s, I’m not sure that Glenn makes many appearances at the world’s largest footy ground.
Tend to agree on the hometown sausage roll review but their potato pies and pepper pies attract more bats. Their bread is very good – and wide variety.
But, for pies, pasties, sausage rolls, I suggest you were at the wrong end of town. Apex Bakery are by far the superior. The fire in the kiln has not gone out in over a century.
Thanks, DB, for the extra detail. When text and context merge is often when the discussion becomes highly engaging.
Appreciate that Swish. Haven’t heard much from Swanee recently.
Thanks JTH. My next visit to Tanunda will include the Apex Bakery which is obviously named accurately. A pepper pie is my default pie.
Caravaning in Warrnambool with a group of likeminded retirees, we have the occasional hit of golf at nearby towns and We always check out the local bakery after. This week we visited our favourite in the quant little town of Terang. A hand written message of the glass display cabinet in forms is that their ‘plain pie’was recently voted number 1! I opt for the cheese and bacon and I’m not disappointed. Lovely crisp pastry and a nice blend of cubed bacon pieces, mince and cheese. Four out of five cricket bats. Their vanilla slices are right up there too! Next time I’ll try the sausage rolls!
Mickey – another great story – many thanks!
I am in complete agreement with JTH re: Apex Bakery: as a ‘long term’ (into my second year now!) Barossa resident – I had a lamb shanks & shiraz pie from the Apex Bakery last year – it was exceptional! 5 bats …! believe the lamb-wine pie is not a regular item on the menu – I did ask on a subsequent visit, unfortunately, not available. Mrs. Hansen highly recommends their pasties.
Thanks Tony. I’m quite the fan of the very occasional vanilla slice and am intrigued by their cult status across the country but most tellingly, if I have this right, in Victoria. Are they the new lamington?
Appreciate this Russel. With Linke’s in Nuri, Mo’s in Kapunda and the Apex in Tanunda the region’s well served. Pasties seem to have rightly fallen from favour because they have shrunk in size and quality. I had one a couple seasons’ back at a Glenelg game and it was so tiny I thought it some type of ironic theatre prop. If I dropped it, I feared an ant may have made off with it.
Thanks.