“It is always worth itemising happiness, there is so much of the other thing in a life, you had better put down the markers for happiness while you can.”
– Sebastian Barry, The Secret Scripture
Mother’s Day in Melbourne. Today Collingwood (7-1) plays Greater Western Sydney (3-5) at the Melbourne Cricket Ground.
And I’m into the city on a near-empty #96 tram. “Harry Potter and cursed child” still plays at the Princess Theatre. Bridal parties still fuss and preen on the steps of Victorian parliament.
Under clear blue afternoon skies, deep shadow envelopes the south-facing Treasury Gardens. Only the uppermost branches of a river red gum catch the sun.
Down the hill and into Yarra Park, I give my regular nod to the outstanding statue of SK Warne, still approaching an imaginary popping crease.
Black and white dominates the concourse. I see only the odd flash of orange, similar to that flash of green you sometimes see on the edge of one chip among a full bag of Smith’s crinkle cut.
There is not a cloud above the MCG at 4:12 pm, and yet, such is the angle of late autumn sun and the height of the MCC grandstand, no direct sunlight reaches grass.
And here are the players.
Countless ejaculations of naked flame leap shamefully into the atmosphere as Collingwood players run out. As they are announced, I wonder how often a team takes the field with no one wearing jumper numbers between 13 and 22.
Collingwood in black shorts today with the predominantly black variant of the never-to-be-varied jumper. White numbers. GWS in white shorts and the brightest of orange jumpers, charcoal coloured G logo and charcoal numbers.
Collingwood wins the toss & will kick to the city end.
“Let’s just boo everyone today,” says a fellow general admission patron behind me.
When finally the audio visual ballyhoo ends and play starts, it takes less than 3 minutes for us to all watch dumbstruck, as B Hill aces both the experimental component of Year 11 Newtonian motion as well as Year 10 quadratic equations. Careening in open play and the kind of pressure that it brings, B Hill devises and then executes a subterranean in-swinger from the W Harmes pocket – he deliberately dribbles the oval ball along a circular arc that begins at the (x, y) coordinates of his foot, and ends at the (x, y) coordinates half way between the goal posts. Stunning.
W Hoskin-Elliott takes a set shot after a free kick is paid downfield following an undisciplined, late hit on N Daicos. “He’ll miss this, you watch,” says Mr Brightside beside me. Goal.
GWS goal from a running overlap.
Kicking out from full back, I Quaynor goes long, where N Daicos hits the pack running and roves off hands without breaking stride – like K Bartlett – and with the quickest of hands releases J de Goey and the ball whizzes through the centre. B Hill marks the resultant pass. Goal.
S Pendlebury to J Elliott. Goal.
J Hogan goals after good mark and lead.
Immediate reply from a pinball machine triumvirate of J de Goey, T Mitchell and J Ginnivan.
QT
COL 5.1
GWS 2.4
To my left, a twenty-something woman touches up her mascara using her phone as a mirror.
We’re back. And after 3 minutes M Cox takes an excellent mark in a challenging part of the ground. “He’s too far out, unfortunately,” says Mr Brightside. Goal.
Collingwood run the ball through the centre from halfback, and J Elliott drills A Johnson. Goal.
T Mitchell handballs to space that his teammate didn’t think to move into yet.
M Cox handball to J de Goey. Goal.
J de Goey and J Daicos perform a lightning handball act in close which leads to B Mihocek. Goal.
J Hogan marks and goals after a quick GWS transition.
On half back, two Collingwood players are confronted with two GWS players. Slick, fast, creative handballs from S Sidebottom in game 298 and S Pendlebury in game 366 have me in mind of the Harlem Globetrotters.
“Use it better pies,” says a familiar voice.
HT
COL 9.4.58
GWS 3.8.26
Sunset heralds the mass arrival of seagulls.
The first goal after half time is kicked by GWS. X Campbell goals from open play.
Pressure from Collingwood forwards brings an errant GWS handball in their backline. T Adams to W Hoskin-Elliott to J Daicos. Goal.
L Ash marks and goal for GWS. “Stop mucking around with it.”
B Mihocek earns a free kick. Goal.
J Hogan marks. Goal.
B Hill is tackled very high dead in front of goal but is denied a free kick, bringing the loudest roar of the day. The game seems like Collingwood’s to lose from here.
B McCreery charges into an open goal.
“Any risk Hoskin-Elliott can hit a target?” W Hoskin-Elliott hits his target.
J Elliott marks a GWS kick out from full back. Goal.
M Cox takes a huge defensive mark and on landing passes the footy behind his own back like it was a tennis ball party trick.
3QT
COL 13.8.86
GWS 6.9.45
A confusion of seagulls flies haphazardly around the floodlit & cacophonous arena: jackhammers of amplified music and inanity working their way into skulls.
J Ginnivan soccers in open play from around 40 metres. Goal. This is exhibition time.
M Cox clunks another one. Goal.
J Noble drills J Ginnivan. Miss. “You gotta kick those mate.”
B Hill snaps. Miss. “You had options, guys.”
The game is decided, but Collingwood forwards continue to press. B McCreery takes an intercept mark as GWS attempt to move the ball across the ground. He runs all the way to the open Punt Rd goalsquare. Goal.
J Ginnivan, B Hill, W Hoskin-Elliott goal.
J Elliott takes a set shot from the pocket he made his own last year. Goal.
FT
18.12.120
7.13.55
I found that a joyful game, sprinkled with moments of outrageous skill and artistry, and all played in a reasonable spirit. Well done those magpies. Next week – Carlton.
A few highlights:
B Hill’s goal. And the team vibe that allows him the freedom to make that attempt.
High quality roving in general play throughout the day from J de Goey and N Daicos.
The backs, particularly D Moore, N Murphy, I Quaynor and B Maynard, covering for one another.
The run of J Daicos, S Sidebottom, J De Goey.
Creativity of T Mitchell.
Chains of pinball machine handballs, each one better than the last, beginning in a congested pack, ending with overlap runners at full gallop.
M Cox making terrific ground position and holding big marks.
A Johnson’s sticky fingers.
B Maynard’s tackles and energy.
Votes:
3- M Cox
2- T Mitchell
1- J Daicos
==
COLLINGWOOD 5.1 9.4 13.8 18.12 (120)
GREATER WESTERN SYDNEY 2.4 3.8 6.9 7.13 (55)
GOALS
Collingwood: Elliott 3, Mihocek 2, McCreery 2, Hill 2, Ginnivan 2, Cox 2, Hoskin-Elliott 2, De Goey, Johnson, J.Daicos
Greater Western Sydney: Hogan 3, O’Halloran, Kelly, Callaghan, Ash
INJURIES
Collingwood: TBC
Greater Western Sydney: TBC
SUBSTITUTES
Collingwood: Reef McInnes (replaced Scott Pendlebury in fourth quarter)
Greater Western Sydney: Callan Ward (replaced Callum Brown in third quarter)
Crowd: 37,631 at the MCG
==
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About David Wilson
David Wilson is a hydrologist, climate reporter and writer of fiction & observational stories. He writes under the name “E.regnans” at The Footy Almanac and has stories in several books. One of his stories was judged as a finalist in the Tasmanian Writers’ Prize 2021. He shares the care of two daughters and likes to walk around feeling generally amazed. Favourite tree: Eucalyptus regnans.
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video posted on the Collingwood website – B McCreery’s mum delivers the Mother’s Day pre-game speech.
https://www.collingwoodfc.com.au/video/1332017/beau-mccreery-s-mum-delivers-a-classic-pre-game-speech?videoId=1332017&modal=true&type=video&publishFrom=1684117041001
Awesome report Dave. Love the green chip analogy ? and having horror flashbacks to late 70s and early 80s high school Maths and Physics class!!
Ha – thanks Ramon.
Explaining that Bobby Hill goal might be on the exam.
Wonderful writing E Rengans. A lot better than that Wilson bloke. A confusion of seagulls is so much better than a colony of seagulls. The 96 tram now that’s reminiscing for me when I spent the first 13 years of my life in our Nicholson Street home in East Brunswick.
I know it’s taboo to boo but when Bobby Hill and Jack Ginnivan were decapitated I voiced my displeasure at the umpires by booing (purely situational)
Who’d a thought Collingwood would be 8 wins 1 loss at the end of round 9.
Great read.
Thanks very much, Jim.
And I’ve got to thank you for alerting me to that video of Julie McCreery’s Mothers’ Day pregame speech
I’ve watched it 17 times (linked in the top comments box).
Thanks Er. I always enjoy your tales driven by mindfulness and gratitude. I concur that a confusion of seagulls is a most apt collective noun, especially at the footy. No Magpie numbers between 13 and 22 must be rare. I generally opted for 21. We’ve all sat near someone who provides unwelcome and unrelenting commentary, and its impact on the listeners is only heightened when they call the players by their first name!
Collingwood are scary good.