Round 6 – Geelong v Richmond: I know Richmond lose but I watch anyway

by Michael Allan

This week the inevitable has happened. This is my first football season having an occupation and for the first time ever, Kmart has rostered me on during a Richmond match. 12:00-3:00, could not get a worse time, won’t get to catch the start of it and it will be over by the time I get home.

Having said that if I had to miss one Richmond game for the season this would be it. Geelong at Kardinia Park, and after the Cats were embarrassed last week this match couldn’t have come at a worse time.

With the magic of Foxtel IQ I record the match, the plan is to watch the match straight after work as if it were live (apart from fast forwarding through the odd Geelong set shot of course). This eases me a bit and I head off to work thinking that I’ve got a flawless plan.

3 hours and 10 minutes later (my replacement was late) I’m released from K-Mart; brother Daniel is promptly waiting for me in the car park. As I get in the car before he can speak I say “Don’t give me a Richmond score.” He nods and turns on the Carlton Collingwood game instead. I listen closely to the call as Carlton seems to be coming back.

Then disaster strikes. The half time siren sounds at the MCG, they cross for a score from the Richmond-Geelong game where “It’s all over, Richmond have gone down by 108 points.” I’m shattered. Not only have the Tigers been pumped but my masterplan is ruined.

Dan asks if I still want to watch the game, I reply “yes” straightaway. He seems bemused but my logic is I watch every Richmond game knowing we’re going to lose, I don’t see how this week should be any different.

I switch the game on but I view it differently. Instead of barracking like I usually would it’s more like I’m watching two neutral teams. Chapman kicks a goal in the first minute and the game’s as good as over by quarter time as Richmond are held goaless.

I have the luxury of fast forwarding through the quarter time talks, I don’t know what they could be discussing. It’s boys against men out there, it’s as simple as that.

Richmond kick their first goal early on in the first term thanks to Jack Riewoldt. Sadly the goal doesn’t count for anything as Geelong, particularly Selwood, dominate the game. Podsiadly kicks three for the term. The commentators overhype him, talking him up every time he goes near the ball. Don’t get me wrong – it’s a great story. But he is playing against Richmond getting the best delivery a forward could want. It won’t come any easier than this.

At half time Jack Riewoldt is our only goal kicker with two. Dwayne Russell foolishly claims that Riewoldt is Richmond’s best forward but wouldn’t get a game for Geelong. Give Jack the delivery that Hawkins has been accustomed to and I’m sure you’d find he’d be superior to the Tomahawk.

In the third term it’s clear that Geelong aren’t taking us seriously. Enright tries an arrogant checkside kick in defence that, rightly so, doesn’t pay off while they are going over the top in their unselfish goal kicking tactic, passing the ball from set shots that I’d back myself from.

Finally Jackson is moved onto Selwood and does a pretty good job on him. Nason kicks a nice goal and I’m starting to find the few positives I look for every week.

As the fourth term rolls on I think to next week, Richmond are going from one extreme to the other. From the reigning premiers to Richmond’s winless partner Adelaide. I’ve already checked the roster and I’m not working next Sunday. I definitely won’t be missing that match. We just might win!

Geelong 7.2 13.7 19.10 24.17 (161)
Richmond 0.2 2.5 4.9 7.11 (53)


Geelong: Podsiadly 5, Mooney 5, Johnson 5, Byrnes 3, Duncan 2, Chapman 2, Hawkins, Varcoe
Richmond: Reiwoldt 3, Nason 2, Farmer Nahas


Geelong: Selwood, Chapman, Enright, Podsiadly, Mackie, Ling
Richmond: Tuck, Deledio, Newman, Riewoldt


  1. I can’t believe you took that risk, Michael. There will always be crosses to other stations. You should’ve been tuned to Radio National or had ‘They Might Be Giants’ playing full blast on the CD player.

    (Don’t know who ‘They Might Be Giants’ are? Do yourself a favour and search on youtube. Here’s a couple:

    but don’t stop there.)

  2. Lol Mike, as soon as I read the words “turns on the Carlton Collingwood game” I anticipated how your plan would be ruined.

    Another obvious sign Geelong weren’t taking us seriously – the absence of a certain bald father-son selection.

    Gigs, that is just, bizarre! And I haven’t even watched the second one yet!

  3. Steve Healy says

    Good report Michael, but K Mart certainly aren’t aware that you’re a richmond supporter, or if they are they aren’t aware of the fixture, but then again, it is K-Mart

    Why did the Demons lose!

  4. Danielle says

    BFFL IM BACK!!!! :)
    LOL you poor thing even i knew that they would cross to scores form other matches no matter who ur tuned into for coverage.
    if it was a Collingwood game and we lost by that much i would have watched it too. Only so i could see exactly what went wrong and put my mind to rest.

    Melbounre lost? oh lucky i didnt tip them! :P


  5. Michael Allan says

    Guys, I would’ve thought the match was over by then but yes in hindsight it was a stupid mistake.

    Gigs I did know of They Might be Giants. However I always thought they were just one hit wonders after singing the theme to Malcom in the Middle.

  6. Steve Healy says

    Yes we did Danni, im sure you know the result and the circumstances that we lost in.

    Put your hand inside the puppet head is an awesome song

  7. Danielle says

    6- well steve i do now that i have visited the HS website, what an unlucky loss! must suck ey?

  8. Good report Michael, sorry about the loss. Good luck tomorrow against Adelaide.

    Danni, good luck with your report for the book tonight.

  9. Steve Healy says

    did you watch the game danni? lol

  10. Danielle says

    8- thanks Josh! May the best team win :)

    9- Steve u know that the Hitler doco was on at the same time!

  11. I like the 2nd song Gigs posted, but the music video reminded me of Twilight, which is not a good thing.

    Danni, as if you didn’t watch it! Scully showed exactly why he was taken number 1, the last quarter he showed his amazing ability to keep going when everyone else is knackered. 39 touches…I think that might be a record for a first year player.

    Although I love watching Scully in action, I can’t help thinking “thanks a bunch Jordan McMahon”.

  12. Steve Healy says

    11- Scully way amazing before tonight, but after tonight, i Reckon he’ll win the brownlow.

    Dean Greig got 39 on debut, Greg Williams got 38 one on ocasion in his first season

  13. Damian Watson says

    1991 and 1984 respectively

  14. 12: That’s ambitious.

Leave a Comment