Round 6 – Adelaide v Gold Coast: Lasting Impressions

Adelaide v Gold Coast

7:10PM, Saturday April 28

Adelaide Oval



Our weekend away to see the Crows at home was hastily arranged, after our planned Easter trip fell through, missing our “redemption” fixture against Richmond.


We were off to a flyer on Friday morning, as I negotiated the tricky left hand turn onto Melrose Drive from the Tulla and found our regular parking station full of empty spots. Not even the complexities of the sticky self-serve luggage labels (“bar codes up”) could slow me down. To continue the run of good choices, the takeaway option from the Carlton North West branch of the Italian Café chain meant that we made it to the gate in plenty of time, despite our air conveyance being docked somewhere near Ballan.


I was reassured when the Captain introduced himself as “Brenton” – it is not often that you get a local pilot, I thought. As he steered us through the Glenelg let down (which was anything but), I spotted familiar landmarks such as the Bay Oval, The Buffalo, The Atlantic Roundhouse (no, not a Portugese boxing venue), the Anderson Reserve baseball ground and up on the hill in the background, Flinders Uni, where I last played on that day in 1982 that I first met Mrs Swish.


(It was a life-changing day for me. I won the “two jugs of beer, courtesy of the proprietor” for my astonishing solo effort on the wing, wearing a very lairy pair of lime green Adidas runners, unhindered by a Crabs opponent and sealing my position in the A9s Grand Final team, despite being dropped for the Prelim Final, eventually being recalled by Rocky for the big one against Riverside at Weigall Oval and playing the only decent game of my life).


Sorry, where was I?


First stop was Mrs Swish’s mum’s, taking her for a spot of retail activity at an outlet centre, which answered the burning question “where does unwanted athletic footwear go to die?” I shouted myself to my first ever piece of RM Williams gear, a jacket which elicited a not even sarcastic “cool jacket Dad” when we returned home. I drew the line at moleskins though, I didn’t want anyone to think that I went to Hackney High.


We eventually lobbed at our centrally located digs, dumping our bags and checking out the not as good as it sounds “complimentary mini bar”.


Those of you familiar with our return home habits will have guessed that the Central Market was our next destination. We are pleased to say that the market proper was as expected, but our choice of early dinner at our once regular Asian Food Hall was rated by both of us as fair to middling. We did learn a new word, “bento”, which is apparently the Japanese word for “twenty five minute wait”.


Fortified with Blackeby’s wine gums for the short walk back, we decided that the lure of Bulldogs v Blues could wait for an hour or so while we had a squiz at a sparsely occupied Friday night Rundle Mall. If only the Virgin Megastore was still there, thought nobody except me since 1995.




It was an early start on Saturday morning. After a mug of heart-starter and a blueberry heart clogger, we hit North Terrace without any specific intentions, guided by the knowledge that there is always something there to stimulate mind and/or body.


A tranquil start to the day


The War Memorial, modest by the standards of similar edifices elsewhere in the nation, still bore the reflections of Anzac Day, wreaths laid by politicians, service organisations and those with a direct and very personal connection to the day.


Lest We Forget


The State Library was next, Mrs Swish fondly remembering the monthly visits her family made, back in the days when it was also a lending library. She latched immediately onto a display of colonists, looking for images of her forbears who came out of the Africaine in 1836.


I zoomed in on the reference section, the wide selection of footy books in the 796 area had me go all Dewey-eyed. I grabbed Bruce Pointon’s huge tome on Barrie Robran, flicking through its extensive detail for what seemed like ages. This shot of his time at Prospect CC took my fancy.


Jenner, Richards, Hammond, Robran


Keen followers of my previous visits to Adelaide may have expected us next to jump on the tram for the Glenelg v Centrals clash at Brighton Road, but that could have been stretching things on the relationship front. Mickey Randall let me know at half time that I’d made the right choice spectacle-wise, his Bays apparently exhibiting a surplus of possessions that was outweighed by their poultice of clangers, handing the two points to my Doggies.


Instead, we wandered past the Museum and into the Art Gallery, taking in their “Colours of Impressionism – Masterpieces from the Musée d’Orsay” exhibition. For some reason, the phrase “Went down to Adelaide where Renoir paints the walls” popped into my scone – not sure why.


No way …


The Migration Museum was next, tucked away behind the main North Terrace attractions. It takes in several historical buildings, one, the former Destitute Asylum, housed some of my offsider’s relatives several generations ago. We weren’t expecting the achingly sad, but also uplifting exhibition “My Paintings Speak for Me: paintings by Kunyi McInerney”, which had opened on this day. To quote their website:


An exhibition of powerful works by artist Kunyi McInerney depicting life at the Oodnadatta Children’s Home in the 1950s.


As Kunyi says: ‘I am telling my stories, so they don’t ever do it again. They took us away from our families, our language, our culture.  These are true stories, a part of Australian history. My paintings speak for me, and my exhibition is for all the Aboriginal children taken from their mothers.


If you get the chance, you must see this ( )


We re-entered the Art Gallery to get a second impression, finding it even more crowded than it was earlier, so we scooted through quickly, still getting our Manet’s worth.


We grabbed a quick pregame feed and finally returned back to base for a late arvo breather.




As you can tell, we didn’t just go to Adelaide for the footy, but it is fair to say that we wouldn’t have been there if the Crows weren’t playing.


I’ve never seen the Gold Coast in the flesh (although I have seen my share of flesh on the Gold Coast). Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Gary Ablett Jr live either. The quirks of following an “interstate team” when living in another state.


There were lots of the apricot slice set shuffling northwards across the Torrens. Almost everyone wore the red, navy and gold of the Pride of SA somewhere. It was the type of night where you needed a jacket but could get away without socks. Clear, no breeze, perfect night footy conditions.


Our 529a Riverbank Stand seats weren’t bad, but annoyingly the goals at our end were obscured by guardrails. I noticed that the catering outlets were all cashless. Will this “innovation” catch on at the MCG? (I know of a couple of daughters who would appreciate that change, even though their tills almost always balance).


*Restricted viewing


Adelaide arrived on the park flanked by a squadron of supporters who paid at least $60 apiece to be part of the Guard of Honour. A fortnight ago, the Pie-Girl and I were able to do this for nix against the Saints at the ‘Dome – supply and demand in action I guess.


The Gold Coast had a more modest pack of supporters, but kudos for giving their blokes something to run out to, their banner conjuring up a rhyming churches/perches thing.


The games itself left few impressions. Our Tom Lynch was way more prominent than theirs (who may have been hampered by injury and a persistent Daniel Talia) and Wayne Milera Jr might have cemented his second spot on the all-time list of Waynes to represent Adelaide (Carey is about twenty five on that list).


I noticed early on that Tex had reverted to his “nudge his opponent under the ball” approach, rather than the “get well out in front of him” that served us so well in Sydney. He couldn’t push off at all so it was no surprise to see him put on ice.


The game was all over at half time, although Adelaide did its best to let the Surfsiders back into the match with a deplorable first fifteen minutes of the third quarter. Like grandparents at a school concert, the crowd of nearly 45k dutifully sat through the rest of the contest, too polite to mention the bum notes and missed cues from their beloved.


Others to do well were Laird (as always), Galluci and Seedsman. Swallow, Miller and Lyons were my best for the generally lacklustre Redshorters.


Sloane, Betts (and some form), B Crouch and a fit Walker will all be handy ins, but it is good to see that this year’s new blood (Galluci, Doedee and Poholke) are up to the mark.


ADELAIDE      4.4   10.7   13.9   16.14 (110)

GOLD COAST  2.1    3.4     7.6     9.8 (62)


Adelaide: Douglas 3, Lynch 3, Walker 2, Gallucci 2, Knight 2, Seedsman, Ellis-Yolmen, Crouch, McGovern

Gold Coast: Swallow 3, Lonergan, Miller, Sexton, Ainsworth, Barlow, Martin


Adelaide: Milera, Laird, Gibbs, Crouch, Atkins, Talia, Lynch

Gold Coast: Swallow, Lyons, Miller, May, Barlow

Crowd: 44,835




We had a mid-Sunday morning coffee date teed up with Mickey, so an hour was killed by strolling along Adelaide’s premier promenade.


We paused at the old RAH site, festooned with signage for “RENEWAL SA”, extolling their plans to use the site to “incubate startup accelerators” which all seemed a bit odd seeing that the Holden’s factory in Elizabeth used to do something similar before they pulled the pin last year.


It was a glorious autumn morning, just enough sun to warm your back. There was just time for a brief but relaxing swan through the Botanic Gardens. Gee I like a good Botanic Gardens.


Mickey recognised my bandy legged rear profile outside our agreed destination. He and Mrs Swish had a great chin wag about the Upper Eyre Peninsula, a place that I can only dream of avoiding visiting one day. Mickey taught at Kimba, where my offsider spent her first decade as the postmaster’s daughter and her cousins were a part of his orbit in the class and on the field (and probably down the pub too). I think she now likes Mickey more than me, but who wouldn’t?


After that, we went to the Museum. Like Sunday roast, you know exactly what you are going to get when you go there, but you still feel good afterwards.


Our final surprise was finding out that Government House (just down the road on, you guessed it, North Terrace) was open to the public. The only Elizabeth that I’m loyal to has postcodes in the range 5112-5114, but South Australia has a recent history of inspired Vice-Regal choices such as Mark Oliphant, Doug Nicholls, Roma Mitchell and the Elizabeth High educated Centrals supporter Kevin Scarce. The current Governor Hieu Van Le was a refugee from Vietnam.


Better than Ripponlea even


Government House was the most impressive house I’ve been into, just shading Ripponlea and the Hammo’s place on Philip Highway (which wasn’t even joined to the house next door like every other house in Elizabeth). But I was less than impressed with its library, a measly two footy books, The Pash Papers and the Williams Dynsty (although Kev S may have pilfered its copy of Poms to Premiers before he left).


Disgrace – no sign of Loose Men Everywhere


There were ginormous paintings of royalty of yore throughout the joint, but we weren’t allowed upstairs so I’ll never find out how large the Gov House version of the Dogs Playing Pool is.


Not a splayd to be seen


That went well, perhaps we’ll do it again soon, but I’ll try to fit more in next time.




3 votes – Kunyi McInerney

2 votes – Mickey Randall

1 vote – North Terrace



About Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt

Saw my first SANFL game in 1967 - Dogs v Peckers. Have only ever seen the Dogs win 1 final in the flesh (1972 1st Semi) Mediocre forward pocket for the AUFC Blacks (1982-89) Life member - Ormond Netball Club -That's me on the right


  1. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Well played Swish enjoyable read ( love the 2 jugs part ) and the photo of Prospect CC ( have sent it on to some prominent members in the side )

  2. Sounds like a great weekend centred on the worlds greatest Cultural Boulevard. I can assure that the governors office used to be resplendent in Doggies memorabilia.

    Did you meet Mrs. Swish at the Queens Head? Many a young man went from the reward of “Two jugs of beer…” to an even more successful evening?

  3. Chris Rees says

    Fair grade cricket team to come up against.

  4. Luke Reynolds says

    No doubt Peter from Peterborough would be impressed with your disciplined purchase of some RM Williams gear. Give the moleskins a chance, they’d look great with your Almanac sponsored Blundstone boots.
    Loved the Dewey-eyed line.
    You should get back to Adelaide more, at least 11 times a year, always enjoy these tales!

  5. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Thanks ‘Book. A few prominent names in the front row too.

    You were probably invited in Culls. I had to sneak past security. The current incumbent has both Crows and Port gear in his office. And a Dell 386 on his desk by the look of it. And we met (on a blind date) at the Buckingham Arms.

    Some bloke called Sobers played for them a few years earlier Chris.

    I will if you pay Luke, although we might be back for the West Coast game.

  6. Dave Brown says

    Did you ask the Governor if he holidays at Port Elliot (perhaps he bought the copy of the Pash Papers I foolishly left in the bookshop)? Sounds like a jolly good weekend, and who wouldn’t like Mr Randall?

  7. Snap. Was over a few weeks ago in Chicken Salt city. Couldn’t wait for the Eagles games. June and August aren’t my favourite tourism times. When dad is 86 you take every chance to catch up. Spent more time in the Adelaide Hills. Renovated Uraidla pub and the bakery next door come highly recommended. Victory Hotel lunch looking over the Vales (Southern not Elizabeth) from Sellicks Hill always on the short list.
    Did follow your lead on the Botanic Gardens and the Impressionist Exhibition at the Art Gallery. A few nice pieces but having been to a couple of big European galleries in recent years (including Musee D’Orsay – skip the bottom floors) why can’t the local galleries put a line a half metre back. Most people had their noses and/or fingers pressed up against canvas debating whether that was Fos Williams mother underneath the veil. Spent most time looking at the back of punter’s heads – like the footy when you are 8.
    Most enjoyable golf at Tanunda Pines (brilliant course – amazingly cheap) partnering Rockford winemaker Bob O’C taking on JTH and my brother. My match report has been in “pending posts” on the Almanac site for the past fortnight. Email JTH to join the protest movement against press censorship.
    (I understand the Governor has recently received an autographed original copy of “The Gordon Agars Papers” for the bookshelf. Sir Gordon Agars KCUB pending?) (Knight Commander Uni Blacks you republican dolts).

  8. Hey Swish, too much high culture for me…but glad to hear you got your manet’s worth!

  9. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    I should have pinched the Pash copy from the Library Dave.

    PB, “Arise Sir Gordon” – sounds like an ad for a nasal spray

    Smithy – I only went down the cultural path because Tilt, Downtown and City Bowl were all closed.

    And thanks Rulebook for forwarding on the “Email from God”

  10. Swish, when you turned into Rundle Mall from King William street, you must have overridden your muscle memory.

  11. Peter_B says

    “Arise Sir Gordon” sounds like closing time at the Queens Head.

  12. Swish- excellent to see you and also to meet Mrs. S.

    While being present at the Bay for the opening of the Cornes Gate would’ve held significant appeal for you I understand your wish to instead drink in the cultural loveliness of North Terrace. Snout’s Bar was decidedly forlorn at halftime with only seven behinds to the locals.

    Even more grim was not spotting a single duffle coat.

    Did the Virgin Megastore ever stock Ken Noath?

    Thanks for this, and the two votes. I reckon the last time I polled was at Tanunda on a soggy deck. Cheers!

  13. Lift your game man, buy the moleskins, living in Melbum you will never regret it. In particular the navy blue jeans style, best pair of duds I have ever owned.

  14. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Was John H Ellers in attendance Mickey?

    Do they come in “portly” Bucko?

  15. Mathilde de Hauteclocque says

    A ‘footy’ weekend away is a great great thing. Thoroughly enjoyed this proxy one with you Swish.
    And I am wholeheartedly buoyed to see that I am not the only person who does a mandatory visit to the State Library of a town. Just met the Queensland State Library last week in Brisbane. It was love at first sight. And I think it’s deep enough to last!

  16. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Thanks MdeH – I’ve always loved a good library

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