“She loves footy, she loves it not…”

by Danni Eid

One of the best things about having friends that aren’t that into footy, is that they say the funniest things when they try to talk about it.

Candy is the main offender. One minute she wants nothing to do with it, the next she’s asking me questions about it. She claims to have a Collingwood scarf but also claims she barracks for North Melbourne ever since she saw them at the public pool in their Speedos. She knows of Fevola but refers to him as ‘Falvo’ which is just very confusing and also knows that something involving a chicken happened at North.

She accepts creative druggies, as she calls them but refuses to acknowledge the hotness that is Ben Cousins AND still decides that Nick Riewoldt is a good-looking one despite my arguments.

Today, amongst talk of our schoolies plans (not going to the actual thing but planning our own much safer version to avoid Toolies) and our group weekend shopping trip to help find me an outfit for celebration day (year 12 muck up day, ill be going as Kim Kardashian as the theme is Hollywood- this means that I wont have to diet, but infact eat more in attempt to fill my derriere like hers which explains my last tweet)

I had the paper sprawled out in front of me reading and almost fell off the bench knowing the Travis Cloke wants to have a shot at kicking a winning goal. So surprised I was at this I told Candy who didn’t know why I was so very worried about Travis’ intentions. After that, I can’t remember why but she called Barry Hall, Jerry?  Was it Jerry Hall…something weird like that, Lol.

She then noticed the pretty Tom Hawkins and so the conversation went like this.

Candy- “Ohhhh who is that?”

Danni- “Hawkins”

Candy-“Ohhhh, let me see!”

*shows her paper*

Danni- “Yeah I know he’s hot isn’t he?”

Candy-“yeah, I think Geelong have a few good-looking players don’t they?”

Danni- “Yep!”

*both look at picture*

Danni- “shall I just leave it open to this page then?”

Candy-“Yeah I think you should”

After about 10 minutes of talking and looking at Hawkins Candy decides to add him to her list of husbands. Later that night she appears on msn to show me a picture of Hawkins she photo shopped herself into. I think they make a dashing couple, don’t you? LOL

About Danielle Eid

Im 23, cute and most importantly im the Collingwood Football Club's very own PRINCESS!! :) A Latrobe Uni graduate from Bachelor of Journalism. Admirer of Samantha Lane and Jon Ralph. Not your typical 'Robot Journalist' Loves Alex Fasolo


  1. Personally, I reckon his eyes are too close together…

  2. Reminds me of a great line out of “One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest”. Jack Nicholson introducing his girlfriend to a bus load of his loony friends,

    “Boys this is Candy (Candy giggles and nearly falls out of her top)……….. Candy this is the boys.”

  3. My all-time favourite film. Remember the scene well, Dips!

  4. OH YAY Thanks for getting this up Gigs! :)
    and no his eyes are NOT too close together! lol how cute is his nose?

    Since you guys don’t know much about my blond friend besides the fact that she doesn’t know much about footy and is very unco, ill tell you that she is VERY VERY book smart. i have no shame at all in saying that she gets better marks than me, shes just so bloody smart! The best thing about her though, is that she can ALWAYS say or do something that makes me laugh, she also makes me great ‘spa CDS’and is always the shoulder i choose to sleep on when im about to fall asleep in class. LOL LOVE YA CANDY BFFLS!!! :) :) :)

  5. Danni,

    Thank you for writing this report, it was an important, highly polarising issue that needed to be addressed and I expect it will promote some highly charged yet rationally argued debate in the comments below

    Ok, maybe not, but it was still funny to read anyway.

  6. Danni,

    Any chance of Candy photoshopping your head onto a Jack Anthony picture??

  7. 5- Adam..um thanks? i think. lol

    6- Josh yeah i dont need to since i have a real photo of me and him anyway!! :)

  8. What was the brand of the chewing gum in One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s nest Dips?

    The only time the big indian (the one who flew over the cukoo’s nest)spoke.

  9. Nice piece/report/article? haha. Candy looks very happy considering her head was detatched from the rest of her and she’s being kicked around.

    Good luck with Collingwood tonight.


  10. Haha nice read Danni
    You are obviously a good sort considering she is still your bf4l despite refusing to acknowledge the Adonis like beauty of Ben Cousins :o

  11. 9-Steve, it’s looking like your luck is unnecessary, just to state the blatantly obvious.

  12. Hahahaha, gold! :P

    So THIS was the pic you were telling me about :P Tell Candy I salute her :P

  13. Danni

    Tell Candy not to give up hope.

    If the Tomahawk keeps putting in performances like last night, he may be serving drinks at schoolies before he knows it.

  14. Thanks Julz, yeah i know ive tried but she just can’t see how amazingly hot Ben is! its fine though, now i get him all to myself! :P

    Susie- will do :P

    JB- Harsh, although he was very…cranky.

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