Gigs Stats Round 3: A season that could come to nothing for all teams – except maybe Melbourne

Stats Entertainment – Round 3

by Andrew Gigacz

WHEN AN ENTIRE SEASON COMES TO NOTHING

We all know how it can be for a side that toils for an entire season before a final heartbreaking loss ends it all. Unless the team win the flag, it all comes to an end either in Round 22, or some time in September.

But an alarming trend has emerged in season 2010. A trend so shocking it could see the season come to nothing for ALL sixteen teams by early August.

Let’s look at the facts. In Round 1, the combined total score of the 16 teams was 1541. A week later it was 1457. And the total for this round was just 1368. The AFL is suffering a score leakage amounting to an average loss of 86.5 points per week. So dramatic are the proportions of this leak that, unless radical steps are taken by Andrew Demetriou and his team, by Round 19, we will have eight games in which no team scores at all.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you Andy.

ON THE OTHER HAND…

Of course you can put a positive spin on low scoring, and if I was a Melbourne supporter, that’s exactly what I’d be doing. After knocking the Crows off on Sunday, in terms of points against, the Demons currently rank third defensively, behind only St Kilda and Sydney. Historically it’s the teams with the best defences that go deep into the finals. In fact, not since 1998 has a side finished in the top three defensively and failed to make the finals – even then that was only Richmond and they don’t really count, do they?

So, as bad as things looked for Melbourne after Round 1, there’s good reason to jump on board the Demons’ finals bandwagon now.

THE MARGINAL MEDAL

Despite not being seen since Round 1 (a bit like Carlton), 56 still leads the way, having been registered thrice thus far this season. Victory by 16 points to Melbourne over the Crows and the Dogs over Hawthorn puts that margin in equal second spot.

SCORE WARS

Meanwhile, 118 has shown far more consistency, being scored once in each round so far to lead the way on 3, followed by 125, 122, 100, 96, 91, 88, 86, 82, 75 and 41 all of which have registered twice in three weeks. (And if I’ve missed any don’t worry, Steve Healy will correct me in no time).

BRISBANE’S FIRST THREE-CUBED SINCE THE YEAR OF THE THREE-PEAT

Brisbane’s 27 point win over Port Adelaide was their first win by such a margin since beating the Dogs at the Gabba in 2003. This is not a particularly interesting fact but has been included because Peter Schumacher gets annoyed at me when I don’t include at least one Brisbane stat.

Always out to please, Peter!

AND IN OTHER NEWS…

To satiate Dockers, Cats, Kangaroos and Eagles fans who have a similar disposition to the aforementioned Mr Schumacher, I humbly submit the following tasty numerical morsel for their consumption:

Fremantle beat Geelong by 7 points and North Melbourne defeated West Coast by 25 points. Combine the two margins and you get 32, which just happens to be 2 to the power of 5 (that’s 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x2). Put the two next the five and you get the margin of one of those games. Or add two and five and you get the margin of the other. [Insert Twilight Zone theme or other appropriately spooky music here]

GOING POSTAL

It was so tempting to give Essendon’s quarter-by-quarter points tally (2,8,2,5) this week’s postcode award. 2825 is the postcode of a little place in central NSW called Bogan. But I thought there might be a club that could be better associated with that, so I will hold off on that one.

Instead, let’s turn our attention to the mighty Saints. Now while there’s no doubting the effectiveness of St Kilda’s game-style, fans are divided on whether it’s the type of footy you want to watch week in, week out. For many, it’s the sort of entertainment that’s not particularly attractive, and yet they can’t look away. Kind of like that show that was the ABC some years back, Sylvania Waters. As well as Terry Donaher,  that TV show starred a Baker (Noeline) who not everyone thought was particularly attractive. And the Saints have got a rough-nut Baker (Steve) starring for them too.

How appropriate, then, that St Kilda scored 2, 2, 2 and 4 goals over the four quarters on Friday night. Because 2224 is indeed the postcode of Sylvania Waters.

THIS WEEK’S RIDICULOUS FOOTY ANAGRAM

As with this week’s postcode, the anagram had me torn between two choices. Given that so many eyes were trained on Mick Malthouse’s lips at quarter time on Friday night, when by rights the players should have been having their oranges, it was tempting to point out that F**KING R*P*ST is an anagram of PACKING FRUITS.  But I am not the controversial type, so I’ll simply point that soon after quarter time, those same eyes were trained on Nick Riewoldt’s hamstring. Despite the heroic effort of the Saints to see off the Pies after Nick’s demise, their fans must surely be wondering if dark clouds are gathering on the horizon. Interesting then, that RIEWOLDT’S HAMSTRING is an anagram of THE SAINTS’ GRIM WORLD.

(And what about that folks – I even managed to include the apostrophe in the anagram!)