Gigs’ Stats Round 20 – Kissing Cousins goodbye

Stats Entertainment – Round 20

by Andrew Gigacz


Stats lovers, my apologies for the late arrival of this week’s numerical and lexicological missive. As a Doggies’ fan my recovery from Saturday night’s debacle has been slow. History tells me that I should have recovered more quickly but, with the Dogs not having lost a game by more than 10 points since Round 4, I think I can be excused for not seeing that Doggie disaster coming.

But the coping mechanisms have kicked in, and I offer to fellow Footscray fans the following relief: if we view the loss through binary eyes, and then convert the margin to decimal, then the Western Bulldogs actually only lost by 5 points. That’s a pretty good effort against the reigning premier!

(Remember folks, as my son Spencer advises me – there are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.)


Good news for non-Collingwood supporters. The Magpies defeated Essendon last Friday by 98 points. Why is this good news? Because the last team to win a match by 98 points was Carlton, who thrashed Melbourne by that margin in Round 13 of 2000 season and subsequently went on to lose the Preliminary Final.


Did you tip the card in Round 20? If not, you ignored all the indicators. Picking the eight winning teams last week was simply a matter of averaging the ages of each squad of 22 and selecting the team with the older average age to win.


Despite three Round 20 games going down to the wire, the round produced the highest total round margin of the season. In fact the total round margin of 378 points was the highest since Round 22, 2008, which produced a whopping total of 535 points.


Turning to my North Melbourne friend at quarter-time of Sunday’s game against St Kilda, I advised her that it was going to be good day and that North already had the game in the bag. St Kilda’s quarter-time score was 2.2 and I explained to her that the last 16 teams to have that as a quarter time score had lost. She was not convinced – either of the truth of that statement or of my sanity.

Sadly for her, and other North fans, the Saints went onto win well, meaning the hoodoo has finally been broken. Or has it? In fact the last team to win after being 2.2 at quarter-time was St Kilda against Collingwood in Round 3. Could it be that the Saints are the only team the have an immunity to this curse? Or as Bill “Phantom” Walker more eloquently put it in an election week – that this is a “non-core” hoodoo? Stay tuned.

1 vs 100

This is turning out to be, to use the Lou Richards vernacular, a ring-a-ding battle. Geelong’s demolition job of Footscray on Saturday night was the third 100+ point margin of the season, drawing 100+ level for the year with 1-point margins. At that point both had occurred three times this year. But 1-point was immediately stung into action, and not half-an-hour later had reclaimed the lead, courtesy of Port Adelaide’s single-point scrape-in over West Coast.


And while on the topic of the Power-Eagles cliff-hanger, it’s interesting (for some of us) to note that Port’s win made it two weeks in a row that the game at Footy Park has been won with a score of 8.13 (61).


At quarter-time on Friday night the Bombers were 3.0, 32-points behind Collingwood and already on the ropes. By half-time they were 5.0, virtually ten goals down and basically in need of life-support. So when you combine Essendon’s first and second change scores, it’s hardly surprising that you get 3050, which is the postcode of the Royal Melbourne Hospital


Ben Cousins has announced that his career will end in Round 22. The question many are asking is “where to from here for Ben?” Will he remain a prominent public figure? Or will we barely hear a peep from him again. Perhaps the answer lies in his name:

B COUSINS is an anagram of SUBSONIC

[No correspondence will be entered into regarding the above anagram. I know that “subsonic” simply means slower than the speed of sound and that the word that describes sounds below normal human hearing is “infrasonic”. Stop trying to spoil my fun.]


As a facts and figures kind of guy, I felt it was incumbent on me to provide some sort of tip for this week’s potential cliff-hanger between Gillard and Abbott. So, for what it’s worth…

I foresee three possible outcomes:

  • A hung parliament.
  • A win to the Julia, which would mean a “hung-Rudd-out-to-dry” parliament.
  • Or a win to Tony and his budgie smugglers, which some might see as a well-hung parliament.

About Andrew Gigacz

Well, here we are. The Bulldogs have won a flag. What do I do now?


  1. Gigs,

    I am still marvelling at the way you got out of the 2.2 hoodoo by producing the St Kilda card out of thin air.

    You are wasted on this stuff. You should be running for PM.

    But maybe not, you at least did have a logical answer rather than pretend that you hadn’t said it in the first place.

  2. Gigs, ingenius as usual. Had Collingwood not wasted their opportunity to beat Essendon by 100, we’d have a 4-4 tie going into the last two rounds!

    I have another joke you might enjoy: Three statisticians went hunting. They encountered a deer.
    The first one shot at the deer and missed to the left.
    The second one shot at the deer and missed to the right.
    The third one exclaimed “We hit it!”

  3. Gigs i LOVE the title!! LOVE LOVE LOVE!! :)
    Such a waste of prettyness with him finishing up and all, hes like Australia’s Beckham. :(

  4. Hey Gigs, did you happen to notice West Coast’s lineup against Port included Schofield, Selwood, Selwood, Sheppard, Shuey, Smith, Spanger, Stevens, Strijk and Swift?

    Would 10 players with a surname starting with S be a record for any letter in a given team lineup?


  5. Great pick-up Adam. I’ll get on the case.

  6. Stellar effort as always, Gigs.

    I don’t think anyone will ever quite know how your brain comes up with all of this. How lucky we are to have you on the Almanac site :D

  7. Richard Naco says

    Great work Gigs, although (being a Catter) I somehow feel responsible for your pain. (And I don’t mean Aker’s constant carping.) But you are definitely 1 in a 100!

    And Adam: are you attempting to say that the West Coast Eagles’ season has basically boiled down to just a load of S?

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