Dining Out All Round

This game scares “all the heck” out of me. To think that the Essendon Football Club, a  great club with over one hundred and forty years  of history could be defeated by this new creation of the AFL, is unthinkable.  But there we are, the Dons are to play the Gold Coast Meter Maids at the “Fish Bowl” behind Spencer Street Station.  Yes I know they’re called the Suns, and that may have been appropriate before the “White Shoe” brigade starting building high rise apartments behind the beach, plunging large areas in shade during the day. So today I’ll call them the Meter Maids after those scantily dressed girls who put money in overdue parking meters some forty years ago.

And where am I?  I am at Halls Gap, with the Partner, my good mate, and his wife. I’m sitting on a plastic chair at the Grampians Food and Wine Festival, transistor to ear, a sample of red in a glass, looking at the magnificent ranges that surround the township. I was a couple of minutes out with my planning for the broadcast, so when I got the trusty ABC radio clearly on the dial, the Dons had already kicked a couple of goals. I found out that the first two were kicked by Stuart Crameri and Ben Howlett, but before I could compose myself Kyle Reimers kicked another couple.  It seemed like Essendon were playing themselves. The commentators rarely mentioned the Gold Coast Meter Maids. If they did, it was to say, “Where were they”?  The quarter just got better and better for me, Essendon kept on kicking goals and shared the booty around well. At quarter time The Dons were fifteen goals four to one solitary point. This is a game of footy to my liking, I did a few calculations and worked out that the Dons could easily score between fifty and sixty goals for the game.

Of course things quietened down somewhat in the second quarter and the radio spoke of footballers I had never heard of. The Meter Maids actually kicked a goal. A footballer called Ablett got a few touches and brought some of his teammates into the game, and horror of horrors they actually kicked a few goals. They actually outscored The Dons, so at the big break Essendon were eighteen goals four to Gold Coast Meter Maids five goals three. Time for a stroll around the Festival Ground and a bit more sampling, The other three, “Geelong tragics”, are totally disinterested in my enthusiasm for the game and far more interested in the food and wine.

The Dons came out steaming. What had Sir James said to them during the break? Goals kept on coming but not at the frantic first quarter rate. Kyle Reimers was having a great day, even though he has thrown the coloured boots away, he kicked his fifth and sixth goal. Paddy Ryder kicked another and the team were back on track with plenty of others contributing like Tom Bellchambers, David Zaharakis, Stuart Crameri and that burrower into packs Jobe Watson. At three quarter time the Dons were leading by one hundred and eleven points.  And guess what, I didn’t feel any sympathy for the northern team.

Last quarter and The Dons continue the dominance. That poor old chap Josh Fraser, who must be in his early eighties, was copping a bit of flack from the commentators, he must have remembered that memorable game against Essendon a couple of years ago. The Reimer’s show continued with him scoring two more, but he wasn’t the only one, the Dons shared the goals around so in the end Essendon had thirteen goal kickers. The only downer was that we didn’t reach the two hundred point score. A shot by Stuart Crameri after the siren just missed.   Not to worry, we thrashed the hopeless Meter Maids by 139 points.

A great afternoon of footy and festival fare at Hall’s Gap.

Final scores were-

Essendon 31 goals, 11 behinds, 197 points

Gold Coast 8 goals, 10 behinds, 58 points

Best Players

Essendon- Reimers, Watson, Howlett, Crameri, Stanton,Bellchambers, Zaharakis

Gold Coast- Ablett, Brennen, Mackenzie,Harbrow


Reimers (3) Crameri( 2) Watson (1).

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