Almanac Teams: The Best Baldies


After some gentle prompting from Dave ‘Diogenes’ Brown on Twitter I though it would be an opportune time to post a team of baldies.


Steele Sidebottom and Ben Reid shaved their heads for ‘Shaving for a Cure’ which helps support those battling cancer and leukaemia. It is a worthy cause and the link can be found at the bottom of this post.


Of course, many in this team didn’t start out bald. Balding perhaps, wispy, thin follically challenged. Most men don’t start going bald until they hit their late 20s or early 30s.


Environmental factors can also play a role. Look at Chris Judd once he left the Eagles to join Carlton. Following the Pies certainly hasn’t helped my cause. Last night I was trying to pull hair that was no longer there during the third quarter ball-butchering, masquerading as football by Collingwood !


According to comedian and Seinfeld co-creator, Larry David, there exists a ‘Bald Community’ that tacitly supports one another in social situations. It may explain why I seek the counsel and company of Messers Gigacz, Butler, Scott, Kane, Fuller, Dawson and O’Donnell at Footy Almanac events.


At the 2016 GF eve launch I asked to sit next to P.Baulderstone. I thought it might be an ‘addicts’ thing, but now I realise it was seeking solidarity from a fellow bald traveller.


Maybe Larry is on to something.



Who are some of your favourite?


From the backline at the club where they were at their baldest:



B: Des Rowe (Rich)                         Nigel Smart (Adel)                 Arthur Olliver (Foots)


HB: Mil Hanna (Carl)                      Ben Reid (Coll)                       Charlie Sutton (Foots)


C: Stuart Trott (Stk)                         Chris Judd (Carl)                   Peter Matera (WCE)


HF: Jarrod McVeigh (Syd)               Barry Hall (Syd)                    Kevin Bartlett (Rich)


F: Ross Smith (StK)                            Fraser Gehrig (StK)              Paul Chapman (Geel)


Ruck: Syd Coventry (Coll)                 Darrel Baldock (StK)             Gary Ablett Jnr (GCS)


IC: Paul Sproule (Rich) Lee Murnane (Fitz)    Rod Galt (Carl) Mick Martyn (Nth)


Coach: Allan Jeans


Entertainment: Larry David


Match Committee: D.O’Donnell, R.Kane, P.Fuller, J.Butler, HB.Scott, D.Brown, D.Dawson, A.Gigacz, P.Baulderstone



About Phillip Dimitriadis

Carer/Teacher/Writer. Author of Fandemic: Travels in Footy Mythology. World view influenced by Johnny Cash, Krishnamurti, Larry David, Toni Morrison and Billy Picken.


  1. Mark ‘Mick’ Dwyer of St Kilda & Fitzroy was follicly challenged at an early age

  2. I’m not bald, I am just tapering off.

    Gary Senior was bald wasn’t he???

    I reckon I would class Bruce Doull as bald also.

  3. Big Bad Carl was a little wispy up top towards the end also

  4. Ashley McIntosh was a fine full back, 1998 All Australian and dual Eagles premiership player (92 and 94).
    You should try growing up as a Balder Stone – Rockhead; Rockjaw – I copped the lot at school. (Peter – “you are the Rock on which I found my Church” – sheesh you can tell Mum wasn’t Catholic – I got the triple header).
    Now I even look true to label. Doubtless why I warm to the Almanac community of similarly follically and intellectually challenged gentlemen. “Birds without a feather, flock together…………….”?

  5. paul baines says

    For Easter entertainment almanackers go to Youtube, The Two Ronnies, ‘Bald Man’ for a laugh..

  6. Rabid Dog says

    I could be medical director…

  7. Barry Gill.

  8. Bruce Doull…

  9. Shane John Backx says

    Yes Barry Gill and 64 Melbourne player John Lord . First nude nut I can remember as a young kiddie

  10. Andrew Wills was the original chrome dome prototype at Geelong, then the Dockers and Bulldogs. The Dockers current Footy Manager Chris Bond was a handy rover at Carlton, Richmond and the Dockers (163 games). His legs were longer than his hair.
    Dunno how Kepler Bradley’s hair is travelling now, but he had a pretty bad combover going by the time he retired at Fremantle.

  11. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    John Halbert (Hall of Fame 2017)

    Rohan Smith (Port Adelaide / St Kilda)

    Fred ‘Chocka’ Bloch

  12. G’day Phil, i thought this may interest you.


  13. Earl O'Neill says

    What’s it like, being bald?

  14. A great team, LB.
    And a fine body of bald men on the selection panel.

    Glen, your team is a belter also.

  15. That’s funny, Earl!

    Don’t know why, but I’ve always felt really sorry for men when they lose their locks – especially someone with hair that Jarrod McVeigh once had (thick curls). I’m glad I’m not a man!

    I wondered about Sidebottom and Reid on Saturday, thanks for informing.

  16. Phillip Dimitriadis says

    How did I forget Milan Faletic? Thanks Glen !

  17. DBalassone says

    Great team.
    A couple of Tigers?
    Dean Notting.
    Ezra Poyas.

  18. I remember Faletic had a kick for goal that went out of bounds and the commentator said Pathetic Faletic.. true

  19. Shane Backx says

    What about the little bald bloke from Benny Hill?

  20. Rick Kane says

    As a member of this esteemed match committee can I recommend Dunstall (yes, he had the locks, the mullett, yes and the 80s hair-metal band look but then the hair was no more and never to return)? Also Lewis (comb over struggling to deny the inevitable), Hale (probably wouldn’t make a best of … even though he was a member of the three-peat!), and because I’m cruel, Brent Guerra (c’mon, it was surely a wig).

    How could you leave Tredrea out? And Robert Wiley?


  21. Mick Jeffrey says

    Naturally the team song would have to have Peter Garrett on vocals (or Michael Stipe from REM if equality is a criteria).

  22. Or Errol Brown

  23. Phillip Dimitriadis says

    Billy Corgan
    Sinead O’Connor

  24. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Howard Devoto

  25. DBalassone says

    What about a few nominations from your left-foot team: 1) Nathan Eagleton for sure and 2) Mark Browning – he had the classic receding hairline towards the end of the his career.

    I’d also throw in James Podsiadly (who looked like a big version of Nathan Eagleton now that we mention it) and who was also a left-footer wasn’t he?

    Come to think of it, Phil, I reckon you’ve got to do a team of bald left-footers! C’mon mate, you’ve got to do it. It would be a cracker!

  26. Phillip Dimitriadis says

    Thanks for your wonderful nominations/contributions folks.
    First, I’d like to apologise to Glen ! for the unconscious plagiarism. Did not see that post, so thanks for the inspiration mate.
    Earl, I used to make fun of my uncle by calling him ‘Uncle Fester’ and he’d get the shits with me. Now I understand why he got so upset. The other thing that grates is the fact that you have to deal with the hair that no long sits on your head, but now crawls down your nape, earlobes and eyebrows. I never groomed this much when I had hair FFS !

    Dips, seeing as you’re such a fan of ‘AFL and Causes’, you’ve given me an idea. How about a themed round to recognise the contributions of the Bald Community? We could call it a BBTT Round.

    What do you reckon folks?

  27. Matty Robran and his illustrious father Sir Barrie Robran trying to remember when Roo started to go bald as well well played,Phil

  28. Rick Kane says

    Phil Collins
    Angry Anderson
    and the sax playing lead singer from Supercharge

  29. DBalassone says

    A Team of Bald/Balding Left Footers (inspired by Phil’s last two posts):

    B: K.Hunter, A.McIntosh, M.Browning
    HB: N.Eagleton, B.Reid, M.Lokan
    C: W.Schwass, M.Long, A.Ramanauskas
    HF: B.Guerra, J.Podsiadly, B.Green
    F: Phil Matera, F.Gehrig, J.Walker
    R: J.Roughead, J. Lewis, T.McGuiness

    * A bit harsh on Roughy, Reid, Green & Lewis, I know. Have extended the definition to include receding hairlines.

  30. Phillip Dimitriadis says

    Now that’s a super team Damo. Lokan and J POD good gets. Not a left footer, but what about Phil Manassa ?! Great commentary here:

  31. A few other contenders I don’t think I’ve seen mentioned (off the top of my head).

    Tom Harley, Andrew Jarman, Jacko, Phil Rhoden (not many games for the Dees but one of the best left foot drop kicks I’ve ever seen).

    Administrator – Jack (Handshakes) Jennings

    Patron in Chief – Sir Prince Phillip.

    We bald(ing) blokes don’t worry too much about follicles. We’re just an inch or two taller than our hairdos. Right Dips?

    Cheers, Burkie

  32. Gee whiz Phil, Uncle Fester, there’s a blast from the past.

    Who can be innovative enough to pick a family of nude nuts? You can have the McIntosh father and son, ditto the Gill brothers; who else is there?


  33. Rick, the chap from Supercharge was Alby …………………………….. some one.

    The surname escapes my old mind.


  34. Phillip Dimitriadis says

    Cheers Burkie, Tom Harley and Jacko of course. Great nominations. Sir Prince Phillip would be our ideal PR man I reckon. Some of the more radical members of the BBTT community are unhappy with Dips’ public expression of self-denial. They consider him to be under one of the B categories. They are also distressed at the lack of response from messers Butler, Scott,Brown and Fuller, whose lack of support has put their positions on the match committee in jeopardy. There’s an opening for you and Glen ! to make a difference and combat baldism at the roots !

    Glen ! Poor old uncle Louie use to cop it from me and his son. Uncle Fester became, Festa, then Fess. On his 70th birthday we congratulated him on becoming a ‘festergenerian’. He wasn’t happy.
    Families? Bruce Reid, Sam and Ben under one of the ‘T’ categories.

  35. Mark Branagan says

    How could you miss Ray Wilson, captain Hawthorn Reserves premiership 1972? Mark B

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