Old Dog’s Team of Characters
Let’s pick a team people want to watch. Here’s my list, love or hate them, or love to hate them.
FB: Liam Baker (WC) May (Melb) Harris Andrews (Bris)
HB: Josh Wendle (Haw) Rory Lobb (WB) Jezza Howe (Coll)
WC: Ginni (Haw) Rowell (GC), Ed Langdon (Melb) W
HF: Nick Watson (Haw) Tex (Adel) Toby Green (Giants)
FF: Charlie Cameron (Bris) Jezza Cameron (Gee) Papley (Syd)
Foll: Luke Jackson (Freo) Olev Markov (Coll) Libba (WB) Captain.
Int. De Goey, Sicily, Zurhaar, Alir.
People say; where have the characters gone?
It’s not that simple. Malcom Blight was a character, and I’m sure still is. He wondered to me if he would have made it in today’s system? The hard training, the 365, 24/7 responsibility of being a current-day AFL player leaves a lot of characters behind, it’s true. But there will always be characters.
Boxing requires ridiculous discipline, but it is riddled with characters. Same with soccer, athletics… I think of sport as a reflection of life, of a society. In this, I believe we are far more conservative than we were in the, say, 70s, but there are still characters out there.
A lot of being a more conservative society is the rise of the hater. Anyone who stands out from the crowd, even a little, cops it. I mean, Joe Daniher had haters! Joe!? I would have thought that impossible.
I blame the internet. Comment after comment from spiteful, negative nobodies speaking like fact, when they’re doing no such thing. Stephen May comes to mind. Flog! Bad for the culture! More teammates should chin him! Blah, blah, blah. None of those comments come from the players themselves. We weren’t there. We don’t know the inside story. I see an old school tough guy, a leader. A rock. Arrogant? Maybe. So what? I’m putting him full back and naming him VC just to annoy the haters.
Our leader, though, is the son of one of the most hated. Terry Wallace turned Libba into an animal-footballer. At the very least, gave him direction, turned a blind eye, whatever. The Brownlow winner went from hero to villain, scratching, cheap shotting, pinching, just being dirty. But he was the villain we needed. Just as the game was blanding out. I would love hating him, until I realised, as he retired, I simply loved him.
Tom Liberatore is not dirty. But every single thing about him screams; there’s a character! The way he walks, the way he runs, his body language, everything is so expressive. His tatts look homemade and as if they’re taking the piss out of himself. The way he clearly can’t be bothered with all the snarling and preening. He just seems fun and interesting. And plays like a demon!
Head and shoulders ahead of the characters pack, Tom, you’re our captain and leader.
I used to hate Ginni when he was at Collingwood; that smarmy little prick who would pick fights knowing nobody could retaliate, and if they did, others would finish for him. But I was wrong. He just has colour. And passion. Just last week, when he was running into an open goal, he showed the world the ball first. FLOOMP! On piled the haters! His reply was perfect.
“It’s okay to have fun.”
His footy has improved with his maturity, and his work ethic. Combine that with his fun-loving character, mate, DVC, easy.
Now, for the rest, quickly.
Anyone who thinks Liam Baker is not a character, does not understand humanity. When you look up “Ratbag” in the dictionary there his dopey grin is, as he slams into you.
I have loved Harris Andrews ever since I saw him standing on the mark like a drunken sailor. It was hilarious, and didn’t stop the goal, but was worth a shot, bugger what people thought of him. He is a heart-on-sleeve person. I’ll never forget when the Lions won the flag, and all the others were on the oval with their medals, basking in the glory, he was behind the float, talking to the kids who presented them.
Josh Wendle seems goofy. And has a ripper mullet, and runs with impossibly long strides, and plays devil-may-care football. Watching him makes me happy. In!
Lobb. CHB. Say no more.
Jeremy Howe sometimes seems like a humourless prick of a man, but he radiates it. It’s funny that someone so tough and dour can be so spectacular. A character. A line-ball between him and teammate Maynard.
Rowell eats grass!
Not all characters have to be loud or aggressive. I’m sure Ed Langdon rides his bike from cafes to training. I bet he owns two cats. The Tim Pekin of modern football.
Nick Watson, the Wizard. What a lair! The only player that doesn’t point in the AFL. He is too busy mining the crowd for worship to ever signal to the bloke who did the hard work to make his goal possible. Very soccer or gridiron of him. The most villainous act in Aussie Rules. Pure ego. What a wanker! Haha. Love watching him play footy.
Tex! Last of the battleships.
Toby Green. Love HATING him! A smarmy 50s thug with futuristic skill set.
What is it about forward pockets? So many to choose from! Higgins, so likeable! Kossi, a brilliant mix of likeable, hard, and freakish skill, so on and so on, but I just can’t go past Charlie Cameron. Hell, on looks alone, a character! I’d give my eye-tooth to meet him. The vroom, vroom, the celebrations, AND he ALWAYS points the finger to the player that made it happen.
Ahh, the pointing the finger. So important – to the game, to our character as a nation. It’s everything. Everything! I call it the Jack Reiwoldt. Like or loathe him, if he kicked the goal on his own he’d point to the boundary umpire. Everybody got thanked, every time, publicly. So all the fans could see who did the small things that led to his glory.
FF Jeremy Cameron. Geez, I’d love to have a beer with him. Looks like a coked-up office worker, but, off the oval, 100% down-to-earth, no bullshit country boy.
Papley. The Angry Ant! Love it!
Ruck. Jackson from Freo. Just listen to him! A mate told me his family calls him Jesus. I laughed and said they should throw a THE in front of it.
I was going to put De Goey RR, but thought better of it. “Legs” Markov may have saved a premiership (no small feat, changing history) but will probably be best remembered for this year’s goal celebration, enacting his baby’s first steps. No shame, awkward, huge dopey smile! Fringe player? So what! What a legend! Put him Ruck Rover!
Coach; Mark Zanotti, obviously!
Assistant, Smoking’ Joe Misiti.
Somewhere down the line: Old Dog’s team of players WITH character.
More from Matt Zurbo HERE.
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Gotta love the Lizard. A snake’s shoulders, terrible mullet, gets the speed wobbles like a freaked-out perentie. The delinquent son of a grinding swot. Everyone, including him, says he’s a bit simple, but obviously not.
Fantastic team!
The game needs characters more than ever but geez they make it hard to be a character these days.
I don’t quite like Ginni as much as I did a couple of years ago, but liked his showing the ball celebration.
He’s great for the game.
Your best selection- the coach! What a man.
Haha, Matt, that description is gold!
Luke, yeah, that he is! Haha. How is hew not Prime Minister!?
Great stuff Matt
Max Gawn is one of my favourites and think he is a character.
Love Angus Clarke at Essendon, genuine country boy, hope he never changes.
Being a Tigers Man I think Kamdyn McIntosh is ours, with Tom Sims a watch in a few year after he appeared at a Tigers function.
Great description of Libba he effectively takes the p1ss out of everything and everybody including himself whilst never offending anyone. His reply after 2016 Grand Final when asked how do you feel along the lines of ‘like Funky Miller I just mad a 100 at the G’ was priceless .
Good work Matt