Image: en.wikipedia.org
Ever since Leon Cameron stepped down as the GWS coach this year, the jungle drums have been beating about Clarko taking over at the Giants next year.
Some will remember the August 2019 Canberra match in the snow between the Hawks and the Giants. Clarkson wore shorts despite the bitterly cold conditions. Maybe the Giants hierarchy look back on that night and say, “he’s our man”.
“No way,” I say and here’s why.
The “Clarko shorts in snowy Canberra” ploy was seen as a masterstroke by the coach at the time, but it needs to be noted that his time at Hawthorn finished a mere two years later. Coincidence? I think not. The cold must’ve really got to him that night and eventually took its toll. And, to slightly misquote the ‘legionary’ Jack Dyer, “Clarko is older now than he’s ever been before!”
He’ll be 54 years old early in the 2023 season. He won’t want to go to any “Cold August Night” games in Canberra. Sorry to all you hopeful Giants fans.
You can count out the job at the Roos as well, even though it’s officially up for grabs now. Can you imagine him sitting in the coach’s box in Hobart when it’s five degrees outside and the wind is howling up from the South Pole? He would probably have a rug on his knees, a couple of hot water bottles inside his ‘John Kennedy Senior’-type overcoat and two beanies on his head. He’d just want to stay inside and let the assistants rev the team up.
NO, NO, NO! Think further north; think the Gold Coast. It would be ideal for him – escaping the cold southern winters. And, if S. E. QLD should ever get too cold, there’s a week in Darwin! Perfect!
“But,” I hear you say, “the Suns have already signed up Stewie Dew for another cupla years!”
Yeah, that’s right. But Clarko and Dew make a great team. Remember 2008? Stewie Dew came out of retirement to help Clarko get his first flag. The Hawks might’ve missed the 2008 flag without Dew. That being the case, Clarko would’ve gone into the next decade premiership-less and it’s highly likely he’d have come away from coaching the Hawks without even one flag. Clarko owes Stewie Dew big time!
How can Clarko pay Dew back? By being an assistant coach up there at the Suns – maybe one with a fancy title. Beautiful weather! And there’s no need for an ageing assistant coach to travel south for those Suns games in winter. Clarko could be ‘managed’ on those occasions.
There’ll be no Clarko at the Giants. And forget about him trying to rebuild the Roos. He’ll be a sun-loving Sun!
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Doug Long landed the best job ever in the late 1960s – doing the footy scoreboard at Nyah. Six hours glorious work for $1.50 in his pocket. Now he writes for the Northern Football Netball League for free.
Welcome to the Almanac, MagnifiCATS! You’re off to a good start with this one. I’m just wondering how far your tongue is pressed into your cheek?
Been tipping Clarko at GWS for 3 years. With the money he will get he can buy a decent split system and not worry about the cold