AFLW 2018 in names only – an unhelpful guide to all of the AFLW players of 2018

 

Inspired by Hugh Robertson’s AFLM guide, AFL 2017 in names only, here is Ann Deux’s unhelpful guide to all of the AFLW players of 2018:

 

 

Alliteration Sensations

Ally Anderson, Ashlee Aitkins, Brittany Bonnici, Courtney Cramey, Shelley Scott

 

Rolling right off the tongue

Lara Filocamo, Becchara Palmer, Bella Ayre, Sally Riley, Stephanie Chiocci, Sophie Li, Alicia Eva, Jade de Melo

 

2018 C/Kate and Co Count

Kate [4], Katie [2], Katherine [2], Catherine, Caitlyn, Kaitlyn, Katie-Jayne

 

Commentator’s delight

Vescio! Farrugia! Wuetschner! Gooch!

 

Footy player or make of car?

Bentley, Exon, Rajcic, Kaslar, Ferres, Janz, Varnhagen, Mifsud, Utri

 

The Sarahs

Allan, D’Arcy, Dargan, Hosking, Lampard, Last, Perkins

 

Disney Classics

Jasmine ‘& Aladdin’ Grierson, Anna ‘Frozen’ Teague, Ashleigh ‘Be My’ Guest, Bree and Jodie ‘Snow’ White, ‘Tiger’ Lily Mithen, Dana ‘Captain’ Hook(er)

 

Hyphenation across the nation

Katie-Jayne, Gillespie-Jones, Frederick-Traub, Stevie-Lee, Lucas-Rodd

 

Our favourite

Burton (Jenna), Cordner (Harriet), Daisy (Pearce), Davey (Brianna), Grant (Emma), Kennedy (Bridie), McGuire (Emily), Molloy (Chloe), Wallace (Ruth)

 

O’ yeah?

O’Connor, O’Dea, O’Sullivan

 

Very loosely translated

Victory of the People Battle Sword (Nicole Hildebrand), Strong, Bold Counsel (Breanna Koenen), Whole Soldier (Emma Kearney), Messenger of the Gods who Plunders (Angela Foley)

 

The Mack Attack

Mackie, Mackrill, McAuliffe, McCarthy, McCormick, McGuire, McIntosh, McKinnon, McLeod, McWilliams

 

Spiderwomen

Webb [3] (and Ebb, plus the Ebonys: Marinoff and Antonio)

 

Old names are new again

Beatrice, Cora, Eloise, Molly, Ruby

 

From Ann M. Martin’s The Babysitter’s Club

Kristy, Claudia, Stacey, Jessy, Abbey, Shannon, Karen

 

From George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones

Breann ‘of Tarth’ Moody, Jamie ‘Good hands’ Stanton, Sophie ‘Turner’ Armitstead, Emma King (of the Seven Kingdoms), Kerryn ‘Kit’ Harrington, Britt ‘of House’ Tully, Jaimee ‘Kingslayer’ Lambert

 

Laying down the Laurs

Laura [3], Lauren [5]

 

First Name Surname

Ashley, Cain, Davey, Eva, Phillip(s)

 

There’s no other

Ainslie, Amy, Cassie or Monique

 

To a T

Tahlia, Talia, Tiah, Tiarna, Tiahna, Tara, Tayla [3] … and Tanya

 

In the Words of Bruce McAvaney

“(Georgie) Gee this is an important kick.”

“Iilish-ous” (Ross)

 

Yell for your Mel

Melissa [2], Mel … and aMELia Barden

 

No relation?

Downie (Meg and Alison), Randall (Chelsea, Pepa and Tahlia), Gibson (Brittany and Kellie)

 

It’s Madeline

Maddie [2], Maddy, Madeleine, Madeline … and Maddison

 

Characters from an 18^th century British novel

Elle Bennetts, Emily Bates, Tegan Cunningham, Darcy Guttridge, Anne Hatchard, Emma Humphries, Isabel Huntington, Meg Hutchins, Eliza Hynes, Louise Stephenson, Alex Williams

 

No, not that one

Emma ‘Ron’ Swanson, Sophie ‘Deborah’ Conway, Jasmine ‘Come on’ Hewett, Emma ‘Jana’ Pittman  … and Georgie Parker

 

Don’t mess with

Jess, Jessica [6] and Jessy

 

On the shopping list

Gum, a Brush, a Bannister … and a Plane

 

Back to Nature

Berry, Birch, Brooke [2], Green, Lamb, Mules

 

Gimme a “Re”

Rebecca [2], Renee [3], Richelle (AKA Rocky), Rheanne, Rennie, Rhiannon

 

Gimme an “Ah”

Aasta, Alexandra, Arianna, Bianca, Brianna, Calista, Christina, Kalinda, Gabriella, Gemma, Georgia, Hannah, Kara, Kiara, Leah, Nicola

 

Now say “Ay”

Bailey, Bayley, Barclay, Dayna, Duryea, Hayley [2], Shae

 

In the words of Dennis Cometti

“Sharp hands, she Gogos down the centre… overall, they’re just Toogood!”

 

The Smith Family

Smyth, Schmidt, Smith [2]

 

Spooky sister synergy

Sarah and Jessica Allen (Adelaide), Sarah and Jess Hosking (Carlton)

 

Catching some Z’s

Zanchetta, Zanker, Zielke, Zreika

 

Meet you there

Blackburn, Casey, Collingwood, Brazill

 

Don’t confuse

Whitfort and Whitford; Hore and Hoare; Hickey and Hicks [2]; Killian, Callinan, Monahan, Newman and Hardiman

 

Pre-season predictions were made based on

Hope, the transit of planets through Virgo and a Krystal ball

 

Games will be turned by

A Moody umpire, a strategy-related Gamble or that special Spark

 

Players will reach premiership glory

By being in the Hunt [2], through the possessions they Garner, by raising the Barr and, most of all, if they’ve Ernst it