AFL Round 21 – Western Bulldogs v Adelaide: Bob Neil: The Encore.

by Rulebook Ashwood


Sunday looms large. I’m up at 4.45 ready to go to the airport for the traditional Adelaide University Football Club Melbourne Greys Past Players Lunch (two years in a row = a tradition). Arriving early in Melbourne I potter around and wander down to the All Nations Hotel in Richmond appreciating how much better the Melbourne public transport system is than ours back home.


I arrive early to catch up with David Hamsy, a school mate I have not seen since `82. David hadn’t played for Uni but it’s clear he fits seamlessly into the world of the AUFC regardless.


The Luminaries of the mighty Melbourne Greys start to arrive (we are up to 65 Vic Members, 625 Financial Members and growing – get aboard The Bob Neil Bus!). Legends such as Eric Sniffer the Greek, Kangaroo Passaris, Chris Killa Watts, Kieran Harvey Wallbanger and Jamie Bruce Willis Mason are making their debuts whilst Pat The Good Professor Moriarty, Swish Schwerdt, Arson Garson, Rocky Austin, King of Passion and Ben S Cox are back for some more John Harms magic.


John and I are up and chatting about developments at the Mighty AUFC when I announce that the lighting upgrade of Uni Oval has moved a significant step closer. A big roar goes up, which leads me to think I am going well here, only to be told Melbourne have stuffed up a goal from two yards out against Freo which is on Fox in the background.


John Harms entertains us with stories from The Footy Town book including one about the Fevolution at New Norfolk in Tassis, and Go Lalor, You Pricks. He speaks highly of the chapter written about our Club by recent 300 game player and club legend Clinton Rules OK. Harmsy asks if any Adelaide Uni guys are running in the Election, to which he is told that Rick Biz Sarre is running against Christopher Pyne. Rocky Austin has the crowd in stitches with a superb impersonation of Christopher. Bruce Willis says it all when he says Harmsy is perfect for an AUFC Melbourne Greys Lunch.


We journey down to Etihad for the Western Bulldogs, who have been very impressive in recent weeks, versus Adelaide game to find out that the talented youngster Mitch Grigg is a late withdrawal. Matt Jaensch, my Crows barometer, is in. If we reach his stage at the selection table I worry. Porpas still can’t get a game. Jason I suggest you do the right thing by yourself and go to Richmond you are way too good not to be playing in the AFL.


Minson starts the game caning Jacobs, Libertore is killing us on the inside bringing Boyd, Griffen and Cooney into the game. Cooney seems to be moving the best he has in recent years. It’s remarkable how often that happens to a player coming out of contract. As the quarter time siren goes it’s clear that Rutten has been convincingly beaten by Campbell and it leads me to wonder whether the Etihad track is too quick for Truck after seeing him chopped up by Petrie here last year. Sanderson makes a beeline for Truck although his blast by my reckoning is as powder puff as a Jackson Bird bouncer at Old Trafford.


Adelaide gradually work their way back into the game. Dangerfield, who is being heavily tagged, is working hard off the ball dragging Wallis and Dahlhaus out of the contest in a tactic that is far too complicated for young Jake Bushell to work out. Despite numerous attempts to explain it we decide it is too hard and go to the bar.


The third quarter commences with 5 points the difference. Western Bulldogs kick the first two goals and then a rare Ryan Griffen error changes the game. All of a sudden Jacobs gets on top of Minson reminding everyone how important ruckmen are and I muse how did Grundy fall to pick 20?


Vince, Douglas and Callinan come to life and all of a sudden Adelaide is up by 21 points. The Crows then take the foot off the gas, which they end up ruing. The Dogs get on top with Boyd getting plenty of it, Gia shows he has another year left and Dickson, who has smashed Shaw, and Campbell continue to run amok. The Western Bulldogs pull clear to win by 17 points.


As an umpire I continue to be amazed and disgusted by the standard of AFL umpiring. How Rowan Sawers as umpires coach and Jeff Gieschen as director have kept their jobs for so many years is a blight on the game. The influence of the laws of the game committee, in particular Kevin Bartlett, is another area which our great game would be better without. During the last quarter umpire Robert Findlay takes AFL to a new low by penalising Daniel Talia for a perfect spoil when he only contacts the ball.


AFL: please stop worrying about whether umpires are elite athletes and get guys involved who have played adult football, even if it is not at the elite level. No egomaniacs as this has been the most over umpired officious exhibition I have ever witnessed.


Summing up the day. Western Bulldogs too good, John Harms you are a star and Adelaide University Football Club are The World’s Greatest Football Club. May Bob be with you!


Votes: Liberatore 3, Minson 2, Cooney 1.


By Malcolm Rulebook Ashwood, SAAFL Umpiring Life Member with plus 20 yrs Experience





  1. Dan Hansen says

    Good article. Particularly your assessment of AFL umpiring. I’ve been to many SANFL and SFL games were the umpiring is ten times better because they umpire to the spirit of the game. The new sliding rule is a disgrace and an over reaction to Lindsay Thomas’s feet first slide into Garry.Rohan.

    Yes sliding feet first should be penalised but diving head first should not be penalised.

    I’m sure Bob would agree with me.

  2. mickey randall says

    Good stuff! Are you looking forward to watching footy next season and beyond at Bob Neill No 3 (Adelaide oval)?

  3. Great article – not a truer word has been written about the standard of AFL umpiring – something needs to happen there and quick!!

    AUFC – The World’s Greatest Footy Club??!??!?!? More like a long distance 2nd to the mighty Redleg’s!

  4. Marc Robinson says

    Well written article, Malcolm.
    I’ll vote for you to take over as AFL Umpiring director….
    You could still host the Uni lunches as you travel around Australia.

  5. I’m sure of one thing, there would have been plenty of advice coming from over the fence to the umpires.
    Sounds like a great day had by all.

  6. Too right Malcolm. Sorry to have missed lunch and the footy. Too busy working on your case. When are we going to see young Sam in the black and white V Harmsy?

  7. Alan Braggs says

    Great Read Malcolm made us feel like we were at the lunch and could not agree more re the Umpiring well put identifying Sawyers Gieschen and bloody Bartlett as the huge problems in the Game Well done

  8. Stormtrooper says

    Another insightful observation written with dash and daring!

  9. Swish Schwerdt says

    Well done on another great function ‘Book.

    … and also with you

  10. Sniffer the Greek Kangaroo says

    Laughed at the anology with Jackson Birds bouncer at Old Trafford – I think I would be happy to face the Birdman.

    Enough has been said about the umpiring this season.

  11. Agree with everything. They call you RULEBOOK for a reason!

  12. Daddsy, Work on him. I reckon he could be persuaded. Adel Luth will be in the mix as well – given his father’s stellar career there. Sorry to miss you at the All Nations. I think everyone had a good time – beer will do that.

  13. Outstanding report in all respects and astute AFL observations!

  14. Sam McEwen says

    When is it going to be Holding-the-Ball when a player gets tackled “without prior opportunity'” yet makes absolutely no attempt to get rid of it an throws it on the deck? That’s the one that bugs me.

  15. Brilliant writing Rulebook.

    Spot on re the umpiring and the Sando spray. Liek facing a Jake Bushell or Malcolm Ashwood half tracker.

    Crows season resembles Aussie ashes campaign.

  16. Anthony Dimarzo says

    Great write up loved your bits about Ad Uni FC what a Grear club .Very astute observations of the Game enjoyed the bit about young Jake Bushell it is v hard to explain astute tactical movements too youngsters and I agree re The Umpiring it was terrible

  17. ‘powder puff as a Jackson Bird bouncer’ ha ha ha
    I like it Book – thanks for capturing the feel of the catch up and the game so well.
    When are you and C Rules OK going to collaborate on a AUFC blockbuster?

  18. The Paparazzi says

    Nice work Rulebook. Enjoyed the part about “Jaensch the barometer”.

    Umpiring was poor (particularly the 2nd man up spoil to take out Danger next to the point post), but the Crows were all over the shop. Need to find some consistency next year.

  19. David Hamzy says

    Great job Rulebook and John Harms.I had a good laugh despite not knowing any of the guys being shit stirred. Long live AUFC. Look forward to the next gathering.

  20. While its before my era, Sniffer the Greek Kangaroo is still right up there with the best nicknames I’ve heard…

    Good job, ‘Book.

  21. Ian Grundy says

    Talia’s spoil was a perfect moment, harking back to earlier days when a man in grey shorts, *the* man in grey shorts, held court in the back line at Uni #1, or was it Park 9. Alas, a moment spoiled by the man in white, or was it green, or orange or blue? Had we have been closer we may well have ‘sat him down’… Great work Rulebook!

  22. Adam Capper Smith says

    Great entertaining read Rulebook enjoyed the price about Ad Uni FC and also thought your write up on the game was very enlightening totally agree with you re Ruckman and also the umpiring and that Free Kick against Talia Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder wouldn’t have payed it . Good Stuff Rulebook

  23. Colin Bankes says

    3 votes Rulebook. 2 votes Sniffer the Greek Kangaroo. Great article from an AUFC club legend. Well played Malcolm

  24. Samantha McQuilken says

    Great write up and fantastic writing very interesting read :)

  25. great write up Malcolm – sobriety does has its benefits (ie who else would make a red eye on Sunday to go to lunch in 12C Melbourne?) Happy to come over in 2014 as the official memory man

  26. Sam the man says

    Well written Mal, just like your umpiring, truthful and spot on! Libba is better than his old man. Keep punching!

  27. Charlie Doran says

    Rulebook. you were never boring when talking at a pub and likewise your write ups are just as entertaining.

    Your assessment of AFL umpiring is spot on.

  28. I hope you sold a lot of raffle tickets whilst travellinmg to Melbourne on the AUFC expense account. The Crows should have won.

    The Bos

  29. Good write up, Rulebook. I may have to come on one of your interstate jaunts and photograph the events for the annual report.

    I would have like have seen more about the contribution of van BerLOL. He was terrible and his 6 clangers and 46% disposal efficiency cost us the game. In my opinion, if he wasn’t captain he would have been dropped months ago. If we could trade him for a second round draft pick I’d take it at the drop of a hat and immediately appoint Danger.

  30. Andrew Muir says

    Great Write up Book V Entertaining good to hear that Sniffer the Greek Kangaroo is ok although did he pull a Hamstring during the Lunch ? Liked you getting ahead of yourself re The Lights ! Your observations on the game are spot on and interesting your Football brain is always v astute Enjoyed the article thanks Rulebook

  31. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Thanks for the comments Folks May Bob be with you all Good Luck to every 1 having a kick and catch for The Worlds Greatest Football Club Tomorrow ! R book

  32. Geoff Wilson says

    Good article Rulebook, you might end up taking on Rucci as Adelaide’s Number1 football writer with stuff like that, as for the umpireing you are totally correct, something has to happen and if there is one thing you are an expert on it is umpireing.

  33. Alex Shopov says

    Great lunch, great game (almost), and overall a great day! Looking forward to continuing the ‘tradition’ next year, well done Book.

  34. Well done BOOK,sounds like a great day had by all
    I was deeply engrossed in the game ,having had a wager on the DOGS.Even with my support of the dogs the free kick against Tailia was as bad as i have ever seen

  35. Sam Austin says

    Great Read Rulebook your opinions on Football are V insightful and useful to learn from really enjoyed the day and John Harms was Fantastic as well agree with a shop look 4wd to the tradition continuing Go Bob Neil

  36. Great stuff Malcolm – insightful and factual account of how things really are across the border. Maybe we charter a plane next year??
    go Blacks this w/e.

  37. Patrick Moriarty says

    Good Work Rulebook…spot on with the article…Great day out again with the Greys and John Harms.
    Go Bob Neil!

  38. Well written Book. Radio to print crossover has gone well.

  39. Excellent summation of the days events Rulebook! Talia’s decision worst I’ve seen – just horrible. Long live bob and the world’s greatest football club!

  40. Very true Book – the game is so technical now that the viewer & no doubt the players are getting frustrated with the interpretation of the rules. Go Bob Neil!

  41. Daniel Ashwood says

    Hey Dad! If that decision was so bad, maybe Avon was umpiring the game!
    But that doesn’t matter: Norwood and the Uni Blacks is all that matters!
    Hope we win the game against Melboure today though…

  42. Cam Duncan says

    A solid read, Rulebook.

    To be fair to the Richmond recruiting department I don’t think we need wish another injury prone Crow coming their way after their last gun pick up in Chris Knights.

    I once had a mate tell me at the start of Porpoise’ AFL career that his would mirror that of Darren Jarman. To this day, said mate still smokes a lot of the green stuff and is as reliable with ridiculous statements as seeing you in tracky pants.

    P.S. The barometer call was genius.

  43. Basket case says

    Great story book and farewell to the crows for 2013

  44. David Gordon says

    Great observations Rulebook. Move over John Harms! He now has serious competition as a sports writer. Cheers, Gordo

  45. David Gordon says

    Well done, Rulebook. I didn’t realise you were so literate.

  46. Matthew Allan says

    Great read!
    Always great to hear about the Blacks.

  47. chockabloch says

    Not talking about last week’s results, just thankful that none of the Blacks, The Crows, the Roosters, Yankallila or Man U got relegated.

  48. Enjoyed the write up and agree with your thoughts regarding the game.

    I should put in that transfer request at work and make the move to Melbourne more permanent – just so I get a gig at the lunch / game next year.

  49. Well done Book. Sorry to have missed Melb lunch, the Sydney one was a cracker. Poor old Crows got one back yesterday against the hapless Dees.

  50. Alister Lee says

    Very Well Written and Interesting Read Rulebook love the Ad Uni Nicknames go Sniffer the Greek Kangaroo you made me feel like and wish I was at the Lunch.I enjoyed your astute observations of the Game as usual I reckon you should be in a AFL coaching box and May Bob be with you !

  51. Caroline Russo says

    Written like a true legend……are you sure you wrote it? Haha

  52. A magnificent summary by The Book.

    Agreed, get rid of Sawyers and Gieschen, bring in The Book to do the important jobs!!!

  53. troy hancox says

    Excellent _Malcolm.
    Very well written!


  54. Tom Martin says

    Well done Rulei, great article. Congratulations on 400 games. Is there still a spot in Bob Neil’s Satin Cappers? I can do percussion. It’s only clapping but it’s pretty rhythmical.

  55. RB,

    Interesting stuff although it never ceases to amaze me how many Crows supporters still reckon they get stiffed by the umpires each week. Umps are always terrible for each side at various points in the game.

    Points about Truck being too slow are spot on. Unfortunately though, VB is ineffectual as a captain. Never have I heard a commentator say he stood up like a true captain or kicked a captain’s goal etc.

    Time for some serious re-building Crows.

    Keep it up Malcolm.

  56. Wizza Wazza says


    Enjoyed the synopsis of a disappointing game for Crows fans, sums up a below average season.

  57. Great summary Book!

    The now tradition of Grey’s lunch will be a long standing one with plenty of support. 65 members, 625 financial contributors! excellent work Ashwood your hard work is priceless to the club!

    Rulebook to coach AFL next year! see if some of your decisions will hold up in the spotlight!

    May Bob be with you all!


  58. Deb Trengove says

    Always a great and entertaining read Malcolm!

  59. Greg Flavel says

    What. No mention of what you had for a lunch, or review of the accompanying fine wines? If you really want to be a good reviewer, read Dan Hansen – who hardly mentions football at all.

  60. Tony Foster says

    An entertaining read. I agree with the comments about the umpiring. Well done Malcolm.

  61. Good stuff Book. Crows season not yet over as the Bombers debacle is still unresolved and it is ‘mathematically possible’ for them to make it in 8th place. Not holding my breath mind you! Redlegs top on league table, second spot on ressies table and third on U18s table. Go you Redlegs!! Thanks for the stubby holders – Jack did question my selection as an on baller at age 34 though!!

  62. RB

    Well dont mate !

  63. And also with you Rulebook Malcolm…

  64. Great Write up Rulebook disappointed I was away definitely in Next Year love being a Member of The Greys best Past Playets group in the world of the Greatest club I’m the world . Book you captured the spirit of the lunch and then your Footy Smarts are shown in your summary of the game GreatvStuff RB !

  65. Spot on Rulebook.

    The white maggot blew the pea out of whistle he was that keen on giving the free kick for a precious over the shoulder contact against Talia. That lead to a small momentum change and WB ran away with the game. Field umpires also need to understand when the game is on knife edge, in the last minutes, they have to lift their decision making skills and make sure they position themselves as best possible.

  66. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Who ever has Posted as Bob Neil at least get the spelling rite Fair Dinkum People have been shot for less . Duncs I am disgusted by the Umpiring in general just pointed out Talia decision which was amazing . Chocka I reckon Man U are safe re Relegation ! Tom Martin thank you for your humour . Overall thank you for all the comments glad folks seem to have enjoyed the article . Go the Scum in the GF !

  67. There’s something about University Football Clubs… doesn’t matter how old you get, every catch up maintains an element of undergraduate revelry.

    ‘Sniffa the Greek Kangaroo’ is one of the great footballing nicknames.

  68. Good read Rulebook.
    Having gone to the Sydney Greys Function, i recon they are a great idea and hope that both the Melbourne and Sydney functions become a more frequent fixture.
    Also great summary of a disappointing game (for the Crows anyway). Hopefully the Scum can make up for a somewhat disappointing year for the Club and bring home the flag.

  69. Litza, From what I can gather that’s his real name.

  70. As a Richmond supporter I totally disagree with the comment regarding Jason porplyzia coming to the tigers for the 2014, we already have enough small forwards who are highly paid and get the job done each week. He’s been one of the more overrated players I’ve seen in recent years. As a Victorian to see what Sanderson did to truck rutten is an absolute disgrace, would you see hardwick do this? I don’t so. I told a number of Adelaide supporters they wouldn’t make the 8 in 2013 and laughed I said the reason being is they have to many soft players in their side. Henderson, Mackay and stench just to name a few. I think they’re a long way off and port are a mile in front.

  71. Some of your best work there ‘Book, what a great write up!
    Almost as impressive as the procession of Blacks legends above me in this comments section.
    I look forward to heading along to the Melbourne function next year.

  72. Darren Graetz says

    Great to see the Uni Greys taking some culture across the border.
    A few frothies always lubricates the the way to a fun and enlightening experience.
    Nice article Malcom and a voice from the people regarding the state of umpiring and rule changes in general. Why do individuals in lofty AFL positions feel the urge to dream up committees to fix things that areant broken. Although it is impressive that this particular committee feels obliged to do so much when most are content to do bugger all, for mind option two would have been better in this case. Sliding is simple, feet first is soft and dangerous but head first demonstrates comittment and should not be punished. And for crying out loud let the blokes touch each other and just protect the head like its been for ever. If they keep this one up I predict a 4.76% drop off in participation. But I digress.
    Footy is a simple game when your young its about chasing a ball and having a few ales with friends and later it just reverses and is about having a few ales with friends and watching someone else chase the ball. this is the way of the world.
    May Bob be with the members of Uni Greys where ever they roam

  73. Andrew Stenhouse says

    Great Write up Rulebook V enjoyable and v amusing High Sniffer ! Agree totally re The Game Truck did look to Slow and Shaw not up to it enjoyed both the Ad Uni Slant and Great analytical summary of the Game well done Book

  74. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Guys in response to texts yes the Jake Bushell mentioned in the article is the Jake Bushell who has posted and yes Jase no need to comment further

  75. In the current political climate, would Tony Abbot or Kevin Rudd make a better AFL umpire? Don’t think so. They all play to the crowd and make decisions with no basis on common sense! Especially applied in this game. Bob Neil for PM!

  76. Neil Pahuja says

    Great write up Rulebook. Top blend of friendship, supporter, umpire and football nous. You bring a unique perspective to the table. You have captured the general supporters love of the game along side their passionate frustrations of a game at times poorly administered and governed.

    Look forward to the next installment!

  77. little shop of horrors says

    Very entertaining book – loved the part about jaensch. He must have some dirt on Sando to keep getting a game.

    Any article in the works about how lightly the dons got off tonight?

    What do we do now in protest? Short Toll shares?


  78. Richard Foster says

    A v entertaining read from describing and giving us the feel of the Uni Lunch to the Insight of The Game . As a Richmond Member I have read Jake Bushells comments above rest assured Jake D Hardwick can fire up a he’ll of a lot more than that the description Sandersons blast was as powder puff as a Jackson Bird bouncer is amusing and v accurate and personally I would love to have Porplycia at Punt Rd

  79. I agree with CR, surely you didn’t write that rule book, it made total sense and was quite entertaining. As Willy said take on that biased peanut Rucci and start writing for the Advertiser.

  80. A great article Malcolm, but the Umpiring howlers should come as no surprise. When the Umpires can’t even get the interpretation of the ‘hands in the back’ rule correct, what hope is there for ‘holding the ball’, ‘over the shoulder’ and…wait for it……’deliberate out of bounds’? The AFL Umpiring Department should change their name to ‘The Bureau of Guessology’, which would be more in line with the mystifying decisions we witness week in and week out. I also think you are absolutely correct about Truck and VB and Adelaide needs to seriously rethink the captaincy for next year. Keep up the good work Malcolm!

  81. Andrew Leunig says

    When the Book talks about football (or life) I listen.

    Great to see the Blacks legends of old gathering together in Melbourne to reminisce, engage on the key issues of the day. We are now several years into the Greys global expansion with Victoria now looking solid.

    Keep up the great work

  82. Rick Bizz Sarre says

    Good article Book. You have the finger on the pulse of this game more than anyone else I know.

  83. Isaac Hinton says

    Great article Book of all Rules,

    However, I am somewhat surprised at the G rating of the article, with some great Blacks players of the past, surely more adult events/incidents unfolded during the day.

    Take the most recent Perth Grey’s event for example, with Tom ‘Action Man’ Martin, Angus ‘Fitter N’ Turner and Kevin ‘Bloody’ Ferguson with yours truly.

    With a thrilling West Coast v Gold Coast match completed (when compared to watching the worst, negative more boring team in the history of the game, Fremantle), the scene was set for more delicious beer (unfortunately not West End but another Lion Nathan product) at the local pub.

    What was to be a quiet Saturday arvo for all involved, became another unpredictable and potentially life threatening AUFC event. For the sake of any readers and the rating of the website, I will not go into further detail but my point stands.

    What other club in the world gives you so much when you least expect it. Bob was certainly watching over us on this occasion.

  84. Wren Thomas says

    I agree … Bob for PM ;) Onya R’Book

  85. blonderwandan says

    Great work Rulebook. I concur with the jerk and am saddened to not hear his song around aufc these days and tempted to print here. BR

  86. Shayne Shepherdson says

    Spot on with the umpiring there. Good to hear Rocky hasn’t lost it yet.
    May Bob be with you.

  87. Richard, hardwick can fire up we know that! But he knows the scrutiny of which his actions would cause if he was to push a player, he’s smart enough to do this behind closed doors and not in the eye of the media. For Jason Porplyzia to come across to punt road he would be a 29 year old injury probe of of form player. Why would we want to take such a risk when clearly these types of decisions haven’t worked in the past. It just fathoms me that Richmond supporters would want to go back to the Wallace or frawley days, we’ve moved on from ‘the quick fix’ and want to develop own own young players.

  88. Great Article Rulebook Rocky King of Passion Sniffer Plenty of Legends Present you captured the obvious Spirit Present at a Greys Lunch . The Adelaide Lunch with Richard Colless was brilliant Ad Uni FC Greys Go from strength to strength . Your observations and opinions on the Game was spot on as usual ! Thanks RB

  89. Sam Bridgwood says

    Great article Rulebook and what beatiful grammar you have. Who edited it for you? This Melbourne event is certainly growing legs so special thanks to Harmsy for promoting grass roots footy across the land. I play in the Scum at the AUFC and Bunny Warren, our Supercoach, pushed me harder than that Sando love tap on Rutten on the day of our successful qualifying victory. At 11pm mind you but still

  90. Kym Beilby says

    Great read Book!

    Great day and look forward to the next lunch! May have recruited a couple of new members.

    Oh yeah the game, not upset with the result. Look forward to watching a finalist next year!!!

  91. Good synopsis of the game and the umpiring, Book. The AFL need to take a serious look at the state of umpiring as it is a joke at present. The lack of consistency in decision making is ludicrous.

  92. Andrew Lamb says

    I never use my Hawks membership but will have to combine a Melbourne game with catching up with Vic-based Blacks. You’ve inspired me, Mal. Completely agree with your comments about who makes a good umpire. You need to have played as an adult but it doesn’t have to be at elite level. You need an understanding of the flow and rhythm of a game to call with the right balance.

  93. Well said MA.. might come next year if I get an invite.. totally agree re umpiring.. most disappointing part of our great game..

  94. Brenton Klaebe says

    and leave the rules alone!!!!!!!!!

  95. Brenton Klaebe says

    Well said MA.. umpiring yes is a definate blight on our game.. huge room for improvement.. very similar to your umpiring.. tad inconsistent.. haha.. in all seriousness though it would be great if they just left the rules alone.. bring back the physical stuff.. and explained the rules to the umpires and make them accountable just like the players.. Go the Chics!!

  96. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Thanks Guys Klaebes were you having a Beer for each Post ? Yes The Greys continue to grow Every 1 is Welcome ! Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder would br better than Sawyers and Gieschen

  97. Great stuff Rulebook – agree the umpiring has been very ordinary this season!

  98. Eloquent, honest and a little dirty – what more could you want.
    Great review.

  99. Peter Crossing says

    Well done, Malcolm. You set a hectic pace. I’m still in recovery mode from reunion days at Uni Oval and Sydney – both done to excess. AFL umps, ICC Cricket umps, the DRS and Jackson Bird bouncers give rise to considerable frustration. Pietersen, Anderson, and Broad did find a novel way to comment on it all. Keep up the good work.
    RIP Arch McCurdy – one of the heroes of the ’68 Brisbane IV.

  100. Grenville Dietrich says

    Well written article Mal, and spot on about the umpiring as well. What do you expect tho as you pointed out with Rowan Sawers in charge, as he put in the worst performance that I have EVER witnessed in the 1986 State of Origin game against Vic that I was fortunate enough to play in….Keep up the good work mate, Cheers GD

  101. Grenville, great to hear from you. I met you at the Welly in the mid-80s. You are a sporting hero to many – especially those who live balanced lives.

  102. Grenville Dietrich says

    Would this be the SAME Jake Bushell that played for Lockleys Football Club and work at Riverside Golf Club ???????

  103. I am pretty sure that the great South Adelaide ruckman (and bon vivant) Peter Darley had the Wellington Hotel on the square in North Adelaide at some stage. In the 70’s we used to drink after work in the Tatts Hotel at the top of Hindley Street (I don’t think its there any more). Libby the golden haired barmaid of a hundred Tatts drinker’s dreams went to work (and other things) for Darley at the Welly.
    Peter Darley was the first of the big mobile ruckmen in SA. Up until then the big blokes like Big Bill Wedding (Paul Kelly’s idol) at Norwood and Candles Thompson at Sturt – were great at the taps but not much else. There were mobile ruckmen like Knuckles Kerley at Westies then South Adelaide – who used leap and body but were only around 6’1″.
    A measure of Darley’s greatness is that he tied the 1968 Magarey Medal with the greatest ever SA footballer (Barrie Robran) but was ineligible due to an early season suspension for abusing an umpire. He was an All Australian ruckman at the 1969 carnival – the final against Victoria was a great game where SA led the Vics at half time. Kenny Eustice shirt fronted Daryl Griffiths and he was so non compus he kicked the wrong way from the resulting free kick. Alas SA fell apart after half time and the Vics flogged us. I remember they played the Seekers “The Carnival is Over” over the PA as they presented the Tassie Medal and the Cup, and I teared up.
    From memory Darley did a knee shortly after that and he never had the same mobility and spring after that.

  104. Looking forward to a similalry good write up of the Scum Grand Final exploits next week Malcolm. Maybe Harmsy could come over and do the pre-game pep up and more importantly host the post-game debrief. would be great to see some Greys out there once venue and opponents confirmed.

  105. Chris 'Killa' Watts (95/96) says

    Great post RuleBook.
    I thoroughly enjoyed the lunch — good(ish) food, good beer and good company (even if it did mean listening to Paul “Arson” Garson talk for 3 hours without breaking for a breath). Was also really pleased that I didn’t get hit up for any raffle tickets! Nice job on the editing Sammy!
    May Bob be with you.
    Chris ‘Killa’ Watts (95/96)

  106. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Hi Pefer B yes Peter Darley had the Wellinton in the 80s he was a larger than life Character and while he was at the end of his career when I was just stating out following Footy and Peters body had caught up with him even in his twilight of his career he was a magnificent ruck man who was extremely Footy smart as I said in the article I can not believe Grundy fell to Pick 20 as Ruckman are so vital
    The Welly was Ad uni FC watering hole at 1 stage and was were I met David Harms

  107. Nice work rulebook, I see you and Bushy continue your difference of opinions.

    The umpiring this year has been shocking across the board!

    Top work.

  108. Stephen Parker says

    Enjoyed your review of the game Rulebook and I agree with your comments regarding the umpiring. However it is not entirely the umpires fault. Any large corporation these days spends most of their time making work places “safe”. The AFL are no different. The game at the elite level is too quick and too safe.

  109. Great read & very entertaining.

    Have to agree with the assessment of M. Jaensch!


  110. Brenton Eckert says

    Any review of the mundane & boring (AFL games and standards of umpiring) have absolutely no place in discussions of anything AUFC. Our memories of this great club and the Sniffer’s, Rocky’s, and Swish’s should not be sullied with reference to any AFL game, particularly one played by 2 mediocre outfits.

  111. In true Uni style I went straight to the summary. I fully endorse your concluding comments. Bravo Rulebook.

  112. Darren Benger says


  113. As the Great Man once said, ‘For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them’ – even if it happens to be in Land of the Big V and the Crows go down to the Dogs.

    RB you keep the Dream alive and Bob be with you for that – even compared to the average Cricinfo article it took 3x longer to read all the (eloquent and erudite) commentary that followed it than the article itself ;)

    Looking forward to your next instalment – and welcome to the blog-o-sphere!

  114. Rule book. could’nt agree more. i’ve been saying for years that AFL is’nt football its been changed to a game thats played in disney land. the players are controlled robots, most of them dont enjoy it. the blokes in coloured clothing think the fans go along to watch them. but they are just very well paid clowns in a travelling circus. i’ve never met a clown that was an egotist. the big problem is the rules of the game committee members are completely out of touch & unrealistic. the latest 120 interchanges. thats 30 a quarter. do your sums, wont be much rest, more injuries & a slower game. time for a new rules committee & coaching panel to be appointed. give me an SANFL or a SAAFL game to watch any day. REAL FOOTY

  115. A fantastic read, great stuff Rulebook.

    The concept of a nation-wide community of ex-blackers coming together in celebration of grey football shorts (and everything that they entail) is almost enough to make want to move interstate and join the party….
    But then I’d miss Hold Your Bowlies every week, President’s Keg and Super Sunday.

  116. Good to see the mighty Blacks/Greys have 65 members in Melbourne. The ton is your next challenge Rulebook.

    Good to see Sniffer the Greek Kangaroo turn up this year. Also nice to hear other legends from my vintage are still involved with the club.

    Rulebook you didn’t tell us who won the raffle! I’m sure you would have run one or two. Did you have a draw? Or was it the traditional result? Nice write up of the day.

    Umpiring – what can we say about it? We could write a whole Footy Almanac about the subject. Despite their propaganda the AFL, they have no respect for the umpires. They change the rules and even worse change interpretations every week, which makes it worse for them. Here’s a challenge AFL – in black and white write down what prior opportunity is. Not this in the opinion of the umpire crap. Its why kids don’t want to umpire and the game is struggling to get umpires at junior footy and lower levels. The abuse that flows from inconsistent rule interpretations each week flows down the grades. The AFL don’t want players fighting because the kiddies copy. Constant rule changes and interpretation changes at AFL level means the players and crowd don’t know what’s going on so it flows down to the kiddies and their games and the lack of respect.

  117. Keep up that quality Rulebook and you might even be good enough to step up from the Almanac to World Footy News. ;)

    But seriously, good to see the world’s greatest footy club discussed on the world’s greatest grassroots/community footy storytelling website.

    Rememberthough, Rutten has looked slow since about his 2nd game. Keep on truckin.

  118. Alan de Menezes says

    Very imprerssive Malcolm. Well done mate. Cheers

  119. Fiona Seager says

    Great Article Malcolm A SA Amateur FC to have Interstate supporter groups and functions is amazing . Hard to argue against your claim of Ad Uni FC being The Worlds Greatest FC . I hope Uni appreciate you as you would be a huge asset at any club ! Enjoyed your observations of the Game Rick Sarre is spot on above in fact good enough for Mr Sarre to get my vote at the Election and Malcolm would have a go at me if I didn’t say GO BOB NEIL

  120. Rulebook

    Is this a preliminary campaign to take the Director of Umpiring position? Is this the start of a long and torrid mud slinging campaign to undermine our current umpiring administration?
    Well get onto it I say. Bob would be proud (if he isn’t already organising your press engagements).


  121. Disgraced Former Premier says

    Quality Book.

    Let’s make the Melbourne Greys function next year line up with a Power game.

  122. As you had hoped for, you gave me a laugh!

    Great work Rulebook – I’m impressed you typed this out rather than handwriting it in your “book”

  123. Angus Groves says

    Great Stuff RB how refreshing to read about a real fc The Mighty Blacks . A club with more character and characters than the AFL combined geez Rocky Snr and Junior Junior at the Lunch is enough ! I am another 1 who prefers SANFL and SAAFL over AFL every time ! A Great Report of the game tho RB and as A guy named Willy above says give mr Rulebook over Ruchi any time Thanks book

  124. Great read guaranteed, Rulebook.

  125. Beth Ashwood says

    Good article-didn’t realise you were that literate.
    Must have been all the tutoring I did!
    Accurate assesment of the game but I missed the lunch-heard its a bloke thing….

  126. Andrew Watson says

    Entertaining Read Rule Book enjoyed how you covered the Impotance of the day of The Greys lunch it provides a chance to catch up with past team mates and Network as well you are a star Rulebook . Re the Game you have encaptured it perfectly especially re The Importance of Ruckmen and the whole problem of the standard of umpiring
    Go The Blacks Go the Greys

  127. Garry Davis says

    Good job Book. Hit the nail on the head. Go Blacks

  128. Yes Grenville it is, except I didn’t work at riverside! I was at Kooyonga for 3 years. Was lucky enough for win an under 18’s premiership with lockleys in 07 after finishing 5th to beat an undefeated Goody saints.

  129. Good read ashy, I found that game very frustrating because of the umpiring.
    Having umpired at amature level myself i reckon that we would be better off with the 1 umpire system again as 3 rule interpretations do not work

  130. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Thanks foe Above Appreciate your comments Gilbo the game is two Quick for 1 it should be 2 umpires as Umpires privately admit 3 umpire system hasn’t ever and can not work as it is effectively the 1 umpire system who runs around in the middle Zone like a blue arsed fly the Positioning can not work under 3 umpire system the change overs don’t work as for this current stupidity of the Umpire getting out near the boundary line to get out of the way of the players you are then in the incorrect position for the next act of play
    The AFL umpires as a group are pathetic in not standing up as a group and protesting on the ridiculous instructions they are given like when the only player making the ball his object and not given a prior opportunity to get rid of the ball is pinged when the correct instruction should be if the tackle is not legal Free kick to the player making the ball his object or if correct tackle ball up !
    This years rubbish of ruck man having to start apart due to lack of instruction re holding shepherding in ruck lack of common sense !
    I repeat get rid of Sawyers Gieschen and Bartlett off the rules committee it would be a far better game !

  131. Great read.

    The introduced rules under Demetriou’s regime are a blight on the game.
    They are so hard to interpret, hence the umpteen mistakes made by the umpires every week. Leave the bloody thing alone!

    Go Blacks!

  132. Peter Kube says

    Great Article Rule book enjoyed all aspects and you speak too much common sense re Umpiring ! Was v disappointed to have to miss The Greys Lunch but this article is a great reminder of real Footy and a REAL FC The Mighty Ad Uni FC
    Go the 1 Res today and GO THESCUM next week in the GF BOB NEIL

  133. Dave barnes says

    With the reduced level of man on man contact in the AfL. Its only a matter of time until the umpires blow the Austria and call ‘contact wing defence, not three feet, free to goal attack’

  134. Luke rogers says

    Let’s face it, a great catch up but secondary to what will be an amazing scum grand final next week! Go younies

  135. Jamie Mason says


  136. Max parker says

    Bring on night Footy at bob Neil no1!! Great article rulebook

  137. Sam pitman says

    Good work. Top stuff. Nicely done. Top shelf. Excellent. Couldn’t have said it better myself, well I could but won’t. Or will I.

  138. Paddy Arnfield says

    Excellent read book- keep up the good work. Onwards and upwards next year

  139. Paddy Arnfield says

    Love the article mate.
    Up the blacks

  140. Dec Harvey says

    Great article rulebook should get out there and replace Jeff and teach them the way! Lucky the dogs showed the crows how to go about it. Up the Blackers

  141. Good read rulebook! Up the blackers!

  142. Bob Neil> Crows

  143. Very eloquent summation rule book. Sounds like a good day for all involved.

  144. Stephanie Pilgs says

    Fantastic that uni have so much support around the country, rulebook you are spot on about the umpiring, what a disgrace. On a side note; gee whiz I lit up the game in the final quarter today.

  145. Scott Uppington says

    A Brilliant write up Rule book capturing what the Footy Almanac is all about describing the Whole day perfectly with the Lunch it is incredible the feeling there is fore Ad Uni FC by Past Players why ? Because it is unique and simply the best .
    A accurate reflection on the Game with how the flow went back and forth according to which Ruckman got on top
    Re the umpiring would love to have more common sense Involved
    Make Malcolm Ashwood Umpires Coach !
    Go the Blacks

  146. Good read book. Well done mate

  147. Graeme Kellett says

    As an Essendon supporter I didn’t see the game and I care not for the result but one thing I’m passionate about is umpire bashing. Well not so much umpires but the influence of higher authority over the umpiring fraternity at the elite level. Being technically correct to the letter of the law (or rulebook) is one thing but having a feel for the game and not being bluffed by Gavin Wanganeen style professional free kicks can only come from an astute football person. It baffles me to this day why we have to put up with modified rules for round 1 to 22 only to see umpires step back on GF day and let the boys play.

    On to more important things, sniffer the Greek kangaroo sounds like a bloke I’d love to have a beer with and I’ve just finished my third warm west end draught with a dash of green Ginger wine.

    Carry on. As you were.

  148. Kym Murchison says

    Great Day Thanks Rulebook appreciate all the work you d o GO BLACKS
    GO GREYS Thank you John Harms and thank you ALL NATIONS HOTEL
    The Game was average Umpiring terrible Beer ok Price Shocjing
    Lookn4wd to the Home of Footy Bob Neil 1 having Lights next year it will go off
    Ad oval is small fish Uni oval is the Big Mother
    Go the Scum in thebGF next week

  149. Great article Malcolm Good balance between Ad Uni FC ant the game entirely agree with ever word you have written Wll done Malcolm

  150. Ben Castine says

    Couldn’t agree more with you, you should take over as the umpiring director. Wow, how can you have that many members interstate !

  151. Great article Mal, good to have some Pembroke Kings input in the long list of Blacks comments!

  152. Good article. Much better than reading the same old boring stuff which gets dished up every week. Keep it going.

  153. Brett Zorzi says

    Touché agree with above entertaining and intersecting stifle Mal Go the Redlegs

  154. Written like a man with too much time on his hands, Rulebook, but a good read! And footy results aside (we love a game of footy but we’d rather have a …) sounds like a good day.

  155. Ray Ashwood says

    Well written Malcolm you describe Ad Uni FC and it’s character perfectly and good summary of the Game and the diabolical umpiring
    Quits impressive son

  156. Margaret Ashwood says

    Very well done and yes Ad Uni FC is a great and fun club and your father certainly abused the umoirring during the Game

  157. King of Passion says

    Good read Rule Book. I agree with Careful Kymmy Murchison’s comments although I would of worded it slightly differently and used a dictionary to get the spelling right.

    Still thinking of a come back at the Blacks. Any spots left in the forward line of the Glamour Side.

    The Blacks are fit. The Blacks….

  158. Marvelous piece Malcolm on what was a terrific day for a resurgent Dogs outfit.

    Agree wholeheartedly re: the decision against Talia D, woeful at best.

    Not so sure about your opinion of Melbourne Public Transport (Exhibit A – Bus Route 216/219 – they stink !).


  159. Our Don Haslam says

    Who is is that all of Australia raves about
    Who has won our highest praise
    Rulebook well played !

  160. Well written Malcolm, nice clip at the umpires as well. Hard to argue with the Talia call, the ump was clearly out of position.

  161. Barry Nicholls says

    Well done Rulebook a win for all Rangas!

  162. Rulebook's Evil Twin says

    That is a pretty good spiel of the way it was and will be.

  163. Good read Malcolm,great bit of fictional writing by a crows supporter.The umpiring is always atrocious,can’t always blame them for bad team work but as usual extremely entertaining.

  164. Enjoyable read Rulebook you Uni Guys are Unique !

  165. Arson Garson says

    Great Day Great Riite up Rbook
    Port Game Next year Please
    Cmon Killa Watts I am Marcel Marceux

  166. Ledge Senior says

    Mal, you’re never full of surprises – the way you have encapsulated what was a excellent day out leads me to the belief that with that new Ipad toy you’re destined to script the new ’50 Shades of Grey’ sequel!! Not sure which Uni guys would be represented though – maybe a topic for another thread?

  167. Tony Donnelly says

    Great write up of a great Day well done Rulebook and John Harms and Ad Uni FC and re the Game totally agree re Porps ridiculous that a elite player is not in Crows Side and yes Shocking Umpiring

  168. Sarah Riccuito says

    Amusing article More fun than Marks in the Advertiser and I totally agree re Porps and yes the umpiring was amazingly bad
    Thank you Malcolm

  169. Sean Fitzpatrick says

    Good article Malcolm. Your a bit hard on the umpires but good point about getting ex players into umpiring.

  170. Michael WIlson says

    Surely you will be writing the latest chapter in the bible when the new edition comes out. Bushell finishing in the finals finally for the tiges but the irony of losing to the team that finishes ninth.

  171. Entertaining and informative, much like the man himself. Go blacks!

  172. Very Entertaining write up RB and astute observations and I can’t work k it out re
    Porplycia personally I think he would get a game at every club
    Go the Greys Go the Blacks Go the Scum

  173. Rulebook, good article champion.
    I have to say, I thought there was an information black hole between you getting into Melbourne and Harmsy speaking – too much green ginger wine?
    What you have done for the old Blacks (Greys) boys around the country is magnificent. the fundraising is inspirational and wallet lightening, but all for a great cause.
    Importantly, who has the greys scarfes in Sydney?

  174. Haslamwilltravel says

    Terrific read Rulebook.
    Sounds like a great day, as was the recent Sydney reunion.
    Jaensch over Porpoise would be like picking stump over dog muir!
    Look forward to reading another article soon.

  175. As is the norm, your insight is spot on about umpiring in the AFL. As a Richmond fan I’d be happy to take Porps. Thanks for Maric by the way, and just wondered if you are as thrilled with Tambo and Angas Graham? Anyway Malcolm, keep up the good work,go Blacks!

  176. Great read Malcolm !!!!

  177. Mahatma Coat says

    Eloquent and literate Book. Beneath the well worn cap and scruffy hair lies a keen eye and a sharp pen. A top read.

    Long live Bob Neil and the Blacks, the World’s Greatest Football Club!


  178. Great read Rulebook.
    Rulebook for umpiring boss.
    Dangerfield for PM.
    Minson eats babies.

  179. Nice work book! Would love to have been over there for the game!!!!! Bobby Neil, bobby Neil, bobby Neil!!!

  180. Yes to: Bob Neil, the greys!!!

    No to: AFL umpires who think they are bigger than the game!

  181. Great article. Watch out caro Wilson I think the age will be calling.
    Where is part 2 of this article what happened after the game?

  182. Great article, interesting read.

  183. Great Write up Rulebook I concur with Bizz Sarre no 1 else I no understands the game as well as you Good luck tomorrow to Bizz and The Scum
    Completely mystified re Porplycia you don’t go from being 1 of the best players in the AFL to not getting a game in the crows side in this day and age of playing your best kicks at Half back why was he not tried there ? Your umpiring insight was interesting and beneficial and I agree re The 3 umpire system as does every umpire I have spoken to keep up the Good Work RB Go the Blacks

  184. Entertaining as usual Malcolm!

  185. David Russell says

    Great to see the umpires rules are adhered to and the interpretation of the modern rules of the game

  186. Michael Barker says

    Fantastic write up Rulebook. This was better that getting a rub down from Miranda Kerr and I don’t use that lighly.
    A journalistic masterpiece that was both entertaining and insightful.
    While umpire bashing is one of my favourite past times along with drink beer, playing footy and eating pizza what really caught my eye was that Book actually knows what he is talking about when it come to footy.
    Excellent stuff really looking forward to reading the next atricle.
    Thank you Rulebook

  187. Adam Sheridan says

    Umpiring can kill games of footy, its not only the free kick counts, but where they are given, momentum killers and givers and the ones that aren’t given (they dont become a statistic). It is clear a VIC v SA club should have 2 (not 3) umpires that do come from those two states. I dont care what anyone says there is a sublimanal bias when there are 3 vic umpires, umpiring this game.

    Mackay the front runner, is also a baramoter. When he gets a kick, it means the others are two, try and win a hard ball you fairy fart. Try and get second round pick for him in the offseason, probably too much, take a third.

    Its a joke Porps isn’t getting a game, he deserves better. Second round pick.

    McKernan third or fourth round, package him with another player. 5 years, 30 games time to move him on. Hes no Trent Potential.

    Glad to see an umpire with years of experience like Malcolm Ashford, see that the current umpiring fraternity are more incompetent than they have ever been, lead by the muppet of all muppets. AND the most confusing rule book of all time.

    And Malcolm kicking in danger, in particular is a rule that umpires really need to get a better grasp of. Especially when a players hand is neally kicked off his arm.

  188. Entertaining article, rulebook!
    Such gatherings should be celebrated and never missed.
    Agree umpiring and Associated AFL interference is a serious blight on the game. About time to turnover some of the people in key positions.

    As for Crows, we now see the benefit of easy draw and new coach in 2012. Hard work for Sando from here on, as too many fringe B/C graders, not enough A graders, leaky defence. Crows have not worked hard enough in games for long enough. List needs a shake-up, perhaps get busy during trade period.

  189. Daniel Gehlingl says

    An interesting read with some sage advice. Love reading it told like it could be.

  190. Funky Wuttke says

    Looking forward to next years update. Fascintating read. Go Unis!

  191. Andrew couzner says

    Having been at the game this was spot on and the three blokes I was with would totally agree !

  192. Here in the long room with the Adelaide Uni boys–no better place to be than with The World’s Best Footy Club!

  193. Rulebook, legend of the mighty blacks!!! Love your work

  194. Is there a man that speaks more truth? I’m hard.

  195. Ash westbrook says

    Extremely well written of an encounter with numerous influences from umpires and key players- when will umpires stop changing our great game
    Top stuff Rulebook

  196. Pete Malinauskas says

    Clever and eloquently written.

    It is true, there is no substitute for having played the game to understand how it should be umpired. This article sums how the role of umpires is most valued when they don’t seek worship.

    The Greys, an institution in the making.

    Great work Rulebook.

  197. John Beilby says

    Great article. Good work

  198. Good article Book truthful and Insightfull Enjoyed The Uni Part and about the Game but better still the SCUM won the Flag Today
    Go the Bkacks The Worlds Greatest Football Club

  199. Great article book- good to see the blacks community staying strong nation wide!

  200. Sean Rusling says

    Great Article Book having now been involved in the AFL system I truly concur Adelaide University Football Club is a Great FC and also every single Player would agree re The Standard of Umpiring and the Instructions they are given Well done Book astute as always

  201. Sean Philpot says

    This article is as biased as rulebooks finest game, but as always it’s in our favor. Good read. May bob be with you!

  202. Nick Spencer says

    Quality R book Go the Scum World Champions

  203. Nick Spencer says

    Love the Greys work and love the blacks.

  204. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Thanks for commenting every 1 except for Heaters impersonation as Sean Rusling above I suppose some 1 else had to join Jake Bushell in posting something stupid !
    Go the Scum and May Bob be with you during celebrations

  205. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Thank you Footy Almanac for deleting Heaters Silly comment and that is Sean Rusling
    Post above I appreciate the Blacks Community and Bunny Warren Coach of the
    Victorius Scum is a Carlton Man bet he is Glad no 1 disappeared yest like
    Chaplin did today for Richmond

  206. beautifully said rule book. of course none of it would have been possible without bob neil.
    now where can i buy some raffle tickets??

  207. Peter Coleman says

    Entertaining article Rulebook. Agree that standard of AFL umpiring is poor. Feel compelled to pass on the constructive criticism I receive during my one game umpiring career from a source that I will keep confidential but his initials are Malcolm Ashwood. “You’re getting your angles all wrong!”

  208. Harvey Wallbanger says

    Rbook thanks so much for having the energy to bring the Greys together. Most of us talk about organising these things but you get it done. Great day had by all.

    Re AFL – I expect nothing less than controversy from one of the most controversial Amateur league umps of the day – “that’s 50 son, you can’t do that, come with me”. I can still hear it like it was yesterday.

  209. Holy crap!! Who wrote this?? Entertaining and well written… Not the Malcom I know!

  210. Lukas Antoniadis says

    Great read rulebook…nice job!

  211. Daryl Harper says

    Is there anything about umpiring that Rulebook doesn’t know? Whether football or cricket, this legend has his button on the finger… I have only just forgiven you Malcolm for that day when I was walking off Adelaide Oval with Peter Parker in a game of some importance. After I had politely introduced you to him as the infamous ‘Malcolm of Highbury’, you sledged him mercilessly in front of the members. I believe your words were..”You are an absolute disgrace, Parker!” Peter tells me that his therapy is progressing well. You’ve never been one to hold back and you’ve again excelled yourself. I imagine that you may even have an opinion about the DRS.

  212. Good assessment let’s fix the Way umpires are instructed to umpire and bring back the hardness and physicality which makes our game so amazing to watch and so very unique!!!

  213. As a pom I have no idea what your talking about but you write well and as for umpires and egos it’s just a sign of the times. Only there to manufacture talking points instead of officiating first and foremost. Keep up the good work mate,

  214. Malcolm Ashwwod says

    Thank you re above Harps only stirred him up re Porkys inability to count to 6
    Thanks Harvey Wallbaner Greatly Appreciated
    In General Thank you for taking the time to make a comment !
    Ad Uni FC The Worlds Greatest Football Club and Good Scum

  215. As usual Ashy great comments particularly about Porps and the umpiring shemozzle Would appreciate some insightful commentary by the legendary and internationally recognised Bob Neil

  216. Good article book

  217. Good article Rulebook – I don’t watch the AFL much these days and when I do it is almost unrecognisable (and not in a good way) from the game I grew up playing and watching at local ovals.

    Perhaps they can drag you out of retirement to teach the umpires a thing or two?

  218. Great read Rulebook…..looking forward to the next installment!

  219. Interesting article Malcolm. Maybe next article you can tackle the match review panel. Some of the suspensions and non suspensions have been beyond logical & sensible reasoning. Mckernan comes to mind, Lindsay Thomas,Tom Jonas.Lance Frankin & Paul Chapman spring to mind as well. Interesting what your thoughts might be there.

  220. Reading Rulebook’s well-placed complaints about the standard of modern umpiring, a number of issues are swirling in the blender of my mind.

    Yes the MRP is broken, the bump is gorn, and the push in the back rule is namby-pamby, tiggy touchwood stuff. But with the approaching Brownlow Medal night of nights set to take place with the spectre of match-fixing in Victorian soccer in the background, I would like to know Rulebook’s views on how the maggots allocate their ones and twos and threes.

    Given that Rulebook was singlehandedly responsible for one of the most decorated medal-winning runs by a lower-grade amateur player in Wesley ‘Sandbags’ LeGrand, I am sure that he would have an interesting perspective on the purity of best-and-fairest awards, and what the future may hold for the current system.

  221. Malcolm Ashwood says

    In Response to several Questions above Todd I would change numerous aspects if I was Umpires Coach I woul have the Umps back in the corridor not this worry about colliding with Players Crap Pay the 1st warranted Free kick and shoot Bartlett and the laws committee I would have Guys who have played adult Footy and with Common sense
    2 Lets not forget the Tribunal used to give some shocking decisions what the MRP needs is tweaking and get rid of the legal crap of ireckless and negligent we currently have legal guidelines but not precedence Hypocritical ! When the MRP makes a mistake re McKernan the AFL instead of privately carrying on that it I to lenient it has the right to appeal which it should have done there are few poor lack of discipline by players these days but this was one so Appeal AFL Piss weak
    The AFL is also worried about so many kids coming from relationships which have broken up so are worried that Mum won’t let there son play Footy which is the major reason re The end of the bump and the Game becoming softer yep clean the Game up from callous acts but it is being changed for the minority ruining it for the majority
    Action Man the awards which should be regarded as the Pinacle of the Game is the MVP and the Coaches Awards NOT a Umpires award there are Games as a Umpire you have no idea who to give votes to but I ask you Tom if Kerry Lucas was running water who would you give votes to ?

  222. Makes me think I should move back to Melbourne just so I can go to the Grey’s Melbourne lunch!.
    And Book, who’s your ghost writer? ;)

  223. Good read malcolm.. Don’t follow the AFL much but great work in the SAANFL.. Go the Falcons :)..

  224. Jake Boerema says

    Great read Rulebook looking forward to chapter 2. Great insight into proceedings

  225. Soccer is the most accepted code of football . Rules haven’t changed and their game is applauded universally. In comparison Aussie Rules is over governed by the AFL and the players (and the supporters of the game) are frustrated by the remedies offered by its power-brokers. Let the game be now.

  226. Stephen "Arfa" Daly says

    It has just taken me 10 minutes to scroll down the “who’s who” of AUFC and various others comments. Great stuff. Didn’t see the game but article written like I was there. Every time I actually get to see a game ( I live in London) there is a new or different rule. The game I played and that played in most parks around the country bears no resemblance to what we see on the telly. Fitness is a big part of that but the rules also have a bit bearing too. It took Soccer 10 years to even think that goal line technology might be a good idea (and only after Lampard got robbed at the world cup). Gotta stop dicking with the rules!

  227. Sam Ashwood says

    Good job dad from your son sam

  228. Great reading Rulebook! Couldn’t agree more.

  229. Martin Rumsby says

    Great work Malcolm. Very entertaining, some interesting insights and a strong opinion or two. This is just the mix needed for successful journalism. I was staggered by the number of comments I had to work through to be able to post one myself. Looking forward to reading future postings by your good self.

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