AFL Round 2: The pre-Wrap



What a week it’s been in Footy Eddie.  There’s nothing that quite packs them in more than a Traditional Rival match is there?  And they’ve struck a new Cup for this one.  It’s a bit novel.  We thought it was a nativity scene at first, but it’s just a cut crystal ox in a manger bearing the inscription Quo Vadis.

Speaking of Stalled Oxen, he might be interested in a comment of one of his predecessors at Princes Park; the much decorated Denis Pagan.  Asked by Mike Sheahan on Open Mike back in July last year, if he took any positives at all from his time at Carlton, he said, “Yes, I accept and understand that life wasn’t meant to be easy.  (And) I’d like to catch up with that little invisible bloke who stood at the front gate with a sledgehammer every morning and hit you under the chin when you walked in”.

Supreme Leader has been lecturing the 18 Tribes on the danger of using uncle dougs not approved for humans – along with those labelled illicit, illegal and prescription.  However, He made no mention of the most dangerous human drug of all, megalomania.

Just how good are The Sage Pundits?  Fully expecting the Village Idiot to be topping the Experts’ Tips, it was a shock to see the Footscray Philosopher Bob Murphy sharing lead with TVI on seven.  Kero & Peter Hanlon came next with six, then there was a bunch on five headed by RICHO.  Crikey!  We haven’t spoken to anyone who got more than four.  Hands up anyone who got more than four, and which outsiders did you pick?  And why?

There’s been a lot of talk concerning the Thomas shepherd on Ben Reid.  And while this column is as confused as the coaches, the players & the public, we keep drifting back to an adage of The Late Great Living Legend Captain Blood.  The player’s got to learn to protect himself.  But before the Mothers of Melbourne reach for the keyboard, we teach our kids to look both ways before crossing the street don’t we?  So where was Ben Reid’s peripheral vision in this incident?  That aside, we all saw it, the so-called shepherd.  We might be getting ahead of Hungry here, but the questions he should be raising at the Rules Committee, is when does a something that looks like a deliberate felling become a sincere effort to protect the ball carrier.  Leave you with it KB.  Just clear up the confusion Mate.  (And how far off the ball can you shepherd KB? – Ed)

But enough of my gabbin, let’s see who’s going to be the feeling blue after Round II.

Struggletown v The Long Suffering Feeling Faints, at The Peoples Ground tonight.  The Tigers opened their season with a narrow, but deserved, win over Arch Rivals Carlton; The Sainters suffered a shock loss up on The Metricon Ride.  Both teams faded at the finish.  The Tiges had banked a scoreboard cushion, The Seagulls hadn’t.  Through the week, the Saint Kilda Coach blamed the restricted interchange through the practice matches for his charges’ cramping.  We didn’t hear boo from Put Road, but you can be sure they’ve been working on it.  The Tigers have dropped Nahas & Griffiths to make room for Petterd & Grimes.  Punt Road insiders are suggesting that last week’s cameo off the bench may be the last time The Faithful get to cheer Rockin Robby Nahas as he scuttles out of the packs with the pigskin.  The Saints have added a host of experience to the combination that performed so ingloriously up in Wally World.  Montagna, Schneider, Dempstser & Fisher return to replace the injured Ray, Gwilt & Hickey, and the omitted Dennis-Lane.  It should surprize no one that we’re going for the Tiges around here in Wrapland.  They’re displaying the form they’ve been promising us for some time now, and they’re also showing the Self Belief they’ve lacked in the past.  The Bagmen, with the Tigers at $1.35, may have erred here.  If you think you can last the week without a smoke, here’s one for the cigarette money.

Steak & Kidney v The Gold Coast Sons, at Moore Park Road tomorrow for the early one.  Both teams coming off convincing wins last week.  But at $1.12, The Bloods look as good as it gets for the housekeeping: Sydney.

The Boys of The Bulldog Breed v The Dangerous Dockers, under cover at the Traditional Time.  We were all impressed by The Doggies last outing against The Reigning GAS Cup Holders.  So, how do you think they’ll fare against The Wharfies?  Us too.  In knocking off Pre-season Flag Favourites, The Anchormen looked every bit a Premiership Contender in their last outing.  It’s a bit early to make a big call on The Kennel Coughs just yet.  We know they’ve got leg pace and marking height, and are skilled off the boot, but let’s see how they stand up to some Rossy Lyon Pressure before we get too excited.  We’re going for The Barry Crockers to remain undefeated in this one.  The $1.68 looks juicy, but don’t be fooled by pyrite this early in the season.

Brissy v The Free Settlers at The Gabbatoir at twilight on Saturday.  The Pride of South Australia looked totally outclassed by the Flying Syringes last time out.  They’ve axed Johncock & Martin to make way for Callinan and to blood Couch.  The Lions have regained Raines, Leuenberger & Lester.  Under the palms against an uncertain Adelaide side?  That’s almost enough for us; we’re going for the Lion Kings in this one.  And at $2.20, they’re The Wrap Roughie of The Round.

The Marshmallows v The Fuchsias on Saturday night on The Paddock That Grew.  The Bombers impressed in the manner in which they blew The Chardonnays away last round and shouldn’t be troubled by Melbourne anymore than they’ve been troubled by the Appalling Football League investigation of their voodoo fitness program.  The Dees pre-season has continued where the 2012 left off.  And no Nurelle; basket weaving is not a sport.  The Bombers to pile on more percentage.  Spread your rent money by taking them in the double with The Swans.

Port Power v The Drive-by Giants, at Arctic Park on Saturday night.  They’re showing that Old Port Adelaide Aggression once more around at Alberton Oval.  And as much as we’d like to see The Gen Nexters get off to a good start, it just ain’t gunna happen this Saturday night.  Port at $1.15 look particularly safe.  Take them outright and couple them with Essendon & Sydney if you want to spread yourself around.

The Pivotonians v The Shinboners on The Shifting Sands of Docklands at 1.10 on the Sunday.  This is a big test for both sides.  The Handbags were loaded with building rubble last Monday.  The Kangas tried to hop into The Maggies, but they lost their way in the doing of it.  Have they learnt that their most effective game is getting the ball moving fast and wide?  The Moggies won’t put up with any nonsense – even more so than The Maggies.  We were super impressed with The Hoopers last time around and, based on their effort against The Squawkers, we see them featuring in the Last Fortnight of September.  With the Gasometer not an option anymore, we don’t see anything North can throw at them to turn them away from their Destiny on Sunday.  We’ll stick with them.  And you’d be excused for taking a second look at the $1.42 The Bagmen have pencilled up as a professional indication of the likelihood of a Geelong Victory.  True, it’s a Pivotonian home game played under cover, but hey, that shouldn’t make that much difference.  With hourly trains running into Spencer Street Station from Sleepy Hollow it shouldn’t take more than half the morning to ferry The Geelong Cheer Squad up behind the George Goninon End.  We’ll be taking as much of that $1.42 as The Pieman will let us.

McGuire v Malthouse, at THOF on Sunday at 15.20.  Channel Sept has the call.  Make no mistake; when The Stalled Ox says it’s all about The Team he means Collingwood.  This is a journey of retribution for the Coaching Journeyman.  The Pies’ performance last week was magnificent.  They were undermanned and North, a better side than their last outing suggests – hit them with everything.  They have been able to recall Shaw, Kennedy & Seedsman to the list for Sunday’s final decision on the team.  The Blues have lost the Hon. Edward C Betts, & Hampson and have omitted The Giant Joseph.  They’re blooding Rowe & Buckley.  The Bagmen have them at an unbelievably generous $1.42.  We’ll be spreading our adventure money between The Cats & The Magpies, and you’d have to think about coupling them at those prices.  At the end of the day, no one really cares if Mick won’t break bread or keep pigs with Eddie.  But there’ll be a lot of interest in Carringbush seeing off the Silvertails.  The Mighty Maggies to Cakewalk their way through this one.

West Coast v The Mayblooms, over there for the late 14.40 start here.  Although it might be an hour earlier if you’ve forgotten to turn your clock back.  No, Nurelle, back.  You turn them forward as the days get longer.  And yes, you’re perfectly right. Turning them forward does make them longer.  The two Premiership Favourites close off Round II.  The Hawks blew a great chance to crack The So-called Kennett Curse last week.  The Weagles were turned inside out against their Crosstown Rivals.  Both will be looking for retribution.  The Weagles have lost La Cras & McKenzie to injury and have omitted Lycett.  The Hawks regain Hodge and have added to Simpkin & Spangher to the list of options.  To be perfectly honest, and we’re sure there are those in the Leafy East who will concur, The Mustard Pots fell in a heap last week.  Whether the return of their Captain will make a difference when the pressure builds up only time will tell.  This is a hard one.  The Eagles have to make do without Nick Nat Nui as well as the spark of La Cras up forward.  Look, Hawthorn’s ball movement impressed in the first half last week.  They’ve sure to have been working on their Four Quarter Effort through the week.  But before anyone sticks their neck out, consider that The Weagles come into this one with a 15-day break against The Hawkers’’ six day break.  Then there’s the not so small matter of that 2-day train ride on the Indian Pacific.  The Eddie Eagles, and the $1.82 might tempt some.

Good tipping and even better punting.

And remember, if you read it in the Wrap you’ll know it’s not crap.

Let me leave you with the wisdom of Judy Blume & Bill Gross

Fear is often disguised as moral outrage.?

They say that time is money. What they don’t say is that money may be running out of time.

Then there was the bloke who asked his girlfriend to marry him.  She said no.

He asked if there was someone else.

She said “There’s gotta be”.

Boom! Boom!  Now we can all get some sleep.

About John Mosig

I'm an Aussie Rules tragic who can remember, as a four year old, shaking the hand of Captain Blood in the rooms just before he ran out onto the ground after half time, as my Old Man slipped him a packet of under-the-counter Craven A cork tipped. Now it's my turn to take my grandson Ben through the ritual of character building that is the journey through PUNT ROAD to the outside world.


  1. I have my doubts about your Tigers this week Mr Wrap. They spent a lot of nervous energy on the Bluebaggers. Was that your GF for 2013? The Saints look a lot more settled with Montagna, Schneider etc back. Yvette tells me she’s been down at Seaford all week feeding her boys chicken soup and peptides after last week’s shocker.
    I got 5 tips right last weekend alone (the first weekend doesn’t count – you can’t expect premiership faves to be exerting themselves in 36 degrees in Mid March – I’m hoping April will suit us better). Since you asked, I picked the obvious Swans and Power, Tigers, Cats and Suns because Demons, Blues, Hawks and Saints all have hearts like peas.
    Yvette’s soup will make all the difference to St Seaford’s attitude this week. She assures me it has never been used on animals except when Fluffy had kennel cough. Regards.

  2. The Wrap says

    Well done Eagleman. The Suns was a brave call. But you should have stayed with The Tiges for Round II. Make no mistake, they’re not quite BIT yet, but they’re up and about. Big test next week against The Dishlickers.

    I see you’ve lost La Cras again. But you should roll The Squawkers. After all, you haven’t broken into a sweat for a fortnight and they spent last Monday trying to herd cats.

  3. Peter Fuller says

    I also picked 5, Freo, Tigers, Sydney, Port & Collingwood. I’m not sure which ranked as outsiders, as I thought three of those were prospectively line ball. I assess the western derby is an even money contest, so generally go with the less fancied team as a tipping strategy. I thought your mob were in rather better shape as the big Thursday approached, and while the margin surprised me, I felt sure that Port had more scope for prompt improvement, than the benighted Dees.
    Consistent with my more typical tipping prowess, I was in no doubt (at least untili about the ten minute mark of the 3rd) that the Hawks would break the cycle this time.

  4. Rick Kane says

    This is too good an opportunity to ignore.

    Mr PB, when you say the Hawks have a heart the size of a pea, are you referring to the Hawks who took it all the way to the last day in September last year? (Suggesting that they may have a slightly bigger heart than a number of other teams who also tried their hearts out to get that far). And what do you say about today’s performance at Subi? Which team rose when it mattered most? What say you of the size of each team’s heart on the paddock this afternoon?

    Oh, and Mr Wrap, in case you missed the result, the WC Evils missed out rolling the Squawkers by about 51 or so points.

    This week at least, we’re a happy team.


  5. Citizen Kane – I reiterate – the Hawks have hearts the size of peas (against Geelong).
    You can read the rest of my comments on today’s debacle in my match report.

  6. The Wrap says

    Can’t wait to read your explanation as to why the Red Hot Premiership favourites, with a 15 day break & playing at home, fell in a screaming heap against a team with the size of a black pea and only a six day spell from a match against one of the Competition’s Premier Sides. And it will wanna to be good, because I’ve tipped them twice now, for zilch result.

    And Citizen Kane – is it all right if I call you Citizen? – I only tipped against The Squawkers because a died in the wool supporter had already written them off and was planning next week’s match against The Maggies. Who am I to argue with the wisdom of a man who has signed up his garden gnome and his neighbour’s cat as Paid Up Proud & Passionate?

    Great result BTW, but then again, The Eddie Eagles may turn out to be this season’s biggest disappointment. They’re already well on the way to becoming this season’s biggest windbags.

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