AFL Round 18 – Collingwood v GWS: Bullfighting

“He couldn’t really remember life before the children. He couldn’t feel it as something he’d once lived. It was too far away, and buried. Something as simple as walking down the street – he was always a father. Or looking at a woman – he was a father.”  Bullfighting, Roddy Doyle.

– Come on Yum, we’re leaving.

She’s around the back. She’s been to get her shoes from the back door.

– Here I am Ooon. Oh, you’re ready now.

– Let’s go. Are we going to the tram stop Dad?

– Yep, the tram stop. Let’s go.

They’re chiacking down the street, down the laneway.

– Did you splash in that puddle?

– Here he comes.

– Dad, a tram just left.

– How long til the next one? Dad, can you check on your iPhone?

– It won’t be long. Look, up there. Let’s count how long it takes for the tram to arrive here.

– No, let’s use the timer.

The tram arrives 2 minutes and 31 seconds later.

We’re on the tram. The fold-up seats. Three-in-a-row. There’s a new Dad opposite. Young one giggling and bouncing on his knee.

– I used to do that with you girls. Look, can you see the MCG?

– Yes.

– Where?

– There, Ooon. See the big lights?

– Oh. There.

 

We’re at the Yarra Park. No cars in the garden this day.

– Dad, I’m going to run down to that statue. Do you think I can?

– Go.

She’s fast. It’s a statue is of Betty Cuthbert.

– Is that where we buy icy-poles?

It’s 12 degrees.

Walking around to Gate 4.

– Is this where we buy icy-poles?

– No. No icy-poles today.

People milling around. Not a lot. Ground announcers impose their voices loudly on the parkland.

– Dad, why do you have to have your bag open for inspection?

– Oh, people aren’t allowed to bring alcohol or glass or dangerous things into the MCG.

– What if people bring those things?

– Well they need to either go home, or put those things in the bin at the entrance.

 

30 minutes to game time. There’s barely anyone here.

– Dad, what if we didn’t have a reserved seat?

– We could have sat anywhere on the top deck.

– Oh. Dad, can we go up there to have a look?

– Sure.

 

There are even less people up here.

Melbourne is playing a home game at Docklands today. Shouldn’t they be playing here? Ten minutes to game time.

 

The bottom deck at the Punt Road end is pretty full now. That was fast.

– Look Yum, there are the Giants fans.

– Oh, there aren’t many of them.

– Dad, is that the Giants song? We’ve never heard that before, have we Ooon?

 

We’re on. Living history. I’m watching Giants for the first time. It’s K. Sheedy’s last competitive outing at the MCG. Yum & Ooon’s first full footy match.

 

– Dad, what does “rushed” mean?

Ooon has taken on the Record. It will be her role today.

Jeremy Cameron is moving well. Attacking the pill. Looking likely every single time. Why are they chasing Buddy?

The lights are on.

It’s quarter time. 3.3.21 to 4.2.26. Jeremy Cameron has all four. He’s the forward from central casting.

 

Second quarter much like the first. Only a couple out there really having a crack.

– Dad, I’m drawing a sad face next to Jeremy Cameron because he’s beating us.

– Dad, that’s his fifth goal in a row! Now I have to do a tally line and it’s only the 2^nd quarter.

It’s a very low intensity game. None of that manic tacklesmotherchasetackle business.

– Dad, can I have some food?

Half time 4.6.30 to 7.4.46. I expect Collingwood to win this. Still playing in second gear. Must be hard to get up to manic level week in, week out. But that’s why they’re paid the big bucks.

Yum and Ooon meet their Aunty, Uncle and a cousin at half time. There’s a lot of running up & down & chasing & energy among these three young uns. The Woods need to find their inner 6-year-old.

 

– Dad, it’s night time. Look, Yum, it’s dark.

Swan goals in the first minute.

Cloke in the third.

Sidebottom (Dad, is that really his name?) in the fourth.

HarryO in the sixth.

The chant is up. Yum and Ooon are looking at each other with sparks in their eyes. Clapping along. This is the good stuff.

Jeremy Cameron kicks another.

And another.

– Dad, that’s seven. If he gets any more I’ll run out of room.

Three quarter time. 9.12.66 to 10.4.64. The Giants haven’t missed a shot at goal. Four rushed behinds.

– Dad, I’m tired.

– Dad, can we have the cheezels?

– Nah, I’ve got something else.

– What is it?

– Chocolate. Look, Top Deck.

– Oooh, look Ooon, Top Deck. Dad, can we have some chocolate?

– After your apple.

 

Last quarter and Collingwood kick away.

Yum is slouching on my arm. Tired. Would have been grand to have this game scheduled for 2pm start rather than 4.40pm.

Ooon is defacing all photos in the Footy Record. Moustaches. Gary Ablett has a hair piece.

– Dad, look I’m drawing tattoos on this guy. Look.

Kids observations again as a bellwether of popular culture.

– Oh, look Dad, Ooon has drawn tattoos.

– Dad, look, the tattoo says “Pop Goes The Weasel.”

– Yum, Ooon, that’s the best I’ve seen.

 

Siren and we’re all singing the song.

Yum tells me to stop.

– Dad, stop singing.

The Woods found the correct gear eventually. The Giants looked lively. Jeremy Cameron looked a capable footballer. And time kept marching on.

 

Collingwood  3.3  4.6  9.12  15.15(106)

Greater Western Sydney 4.2  7.4  10.4  10.6(66)

GOALS

Collingwood: Swan 3, Sidebottom 3, Cloke 3, Reid 2, Beams, O’Brien, Elliott, Witts.

GWS: Cameron 7, Shiel, Smith, Scully.

BEST

Collingwood: Swan, Sidebottom

GWS: Cameron

Umpires: Ryan, Armstrong, Fila

Crowd: 32,691 at ground level of MCG.