AFL Round 14: Overheard on a bus

by Ross Green

Of all the pre-match analyses leading up to the Geelong-St Kilda game, it’s a pity the conversation my wife and I witnessed on the 246 bus at 11pm on Friday night was not heard by more footy lovers.

Two boys, a pint-sized 10-year-old and a wiry, devilish looking 12-year-old hopped on the 246 outside the MCG, after the Essendon-Collingwood game. They were with a couple of adults, possible a grandfather and their dads. The littler lad was a Geelong supporter, wearing Collingwood gear out of sufferance to blend in with the faithful at the MCG. The older boy was pure Carringbush.

The conversation was priceless, reflecting the way kids think about footy (and how one-eyed Collingwood supporters are):

Pie: You’re no chance on Sunday.

Cat: Yes we are. I think we’ll win.

Pie: Give me one good reason why Geelong will win.

Cat: ‘Cos we will. We’re the greatest team of all.

Pie: Not good enough. Give me one legit reason.

Cat: We have Gary Ablett

Pie: So what. The Saints have heaps of good players.

Cat: But not Ablett.

Pie: Dal Santo, Hayes, Riewoldt, Kozzy, Jones.

Cat: Who the hell is Jones?

Pie: Doesn’t matter…they have good players. You don’t have that many.

Cat: What about Stevie J? Bartel? Selwood, Corey, Enright?

Pie: They are lucky players.

Cat: But Jimmy won a Brownlow. And SJ is a freak in front of goal. And Chapman! How good is he?

Pie: Not that good. He’s overrated…and bald – wouldn’t even get in the Collingwood team. You still haven’t given me a good reason.

Cat: We’ve kicked more goals than anyone so we will kick a big score.

Pie: But they have the best defence.

Cat: Well we have the best attack.

Pie: They have the best defence and defence is better than attack. Defence always beats attack. You didn’t even win the grand final last year.

Cat: Hawthorn got lucky.

Pie: But you still couldn’t beat them and look at them now. They’re shit. And you only just beat them in round one.

Cat: But we have hardly lost, in like, almost three seasons.

Pie: Yeah well that will change…

Cat: And we haven’t lost at Telstra Dome for ages.

Pie: It’s called Etihad now.

Cat: Whatever. We play the best brand of footy and we’re the fastest.

Pie: You haven’t got a forward line and you’re not that quick.

Cat: Ablett is lightning.

Pie: ‘But Ling isn’t and Hawkins is slow as, and he’s crap.

Cat: St Kilda aren’t that good are they?

Pie: Absolutely. Really good. The best. I reckon the only team that could beat them is Collingwood.

Cat: ‘Shut up.’

Pie: Didak. Swan. Daisy.

Cat: You’re a dickhead.

Pie: I’m serious. And you won’t win Sunday mate. No chance.

Cat: What do you mean no chance – we haven’t lost a game!

Pie: Yeah, but they have won their games better than you have won yours.

Cat: How do you know that – you haven’t watched all their games.

Pie: I just know, ‘cos I understand footy. And we lost to Geelong by less than St Kilda beat us by.

Cat: How much was that by?

Pie: Can’t remember, but we were out of form both games and had loads of injuries. Wouldn’t happen now.

Cat: I bet you we win.

Pie: Bet you don’t. You’ve got no idea.

Cat: Are we there yet?

The Saints got up by six points. I wonder how the next conversation panned out.

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