10 Best Golf Caddy Jokes

These are from the internet, but they are clever, so I thought I would pass them on to other putt drunks.

Number 10 – Golfer: “I’m going to drown myself in the lake.”
Caddy: “Think you can keep your head down that long?”

Number 9 – Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.”
Caddy: “Try heaven, you’ve already moved most of the earth.”

Number 8 – Golfer: “Do you think my game is improving?”
Caddy: “Yes, you miss the ball much closer now.”

Number 7 – Golfer: “Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?”
Caddy: “Eventually.”

Number 6 – Golfer: “You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world.”
Caddy: “I don’t think so . That would just be too much of a coincidence.”

Number 5 – Golfer: “Please stop checking your watch all the time. It’s very distracting.”
Caddy: “It’s not a watch – it’s a compass.”

Number 4 – Golfer: “How do you like my game?”
Caddy: “Very good, but personally, I prefer golf.”

Number 3 – Golfer: “Do you think it’s a sin to play on Sunday?
Caddy: “The way you play,  it’s a sin on any day.”

Number 2 – Golfer: “This is the worst course I’ve ever played on.”
Caddy: “This isn’t the golf course. We left that an hour ago.”

Number 1 Best Caddy Comment: Golfer: “That can’t be my ball, it’s too old.”
Caddy: “It’s been a long time since we teed off, sir.”


  1. And you reckon my jokes are bad.

  2. In my 20’s I must have played a couple hundred rounds at the Royal & Ancient Wattle Park 9 hole public golf course (I also worked there in the pro shop on a Sunday).

    Countless times the same old man would wander up to me and tell me the same joke.

    ‘Why are golf and marriage so much alike’

    ‘No two days are ever the same’.

    Not even the slightest bit funny. But I’d be supressing fits of the giggles as soon as I spotted him out the corner of my eye knowing exactly what was coming.

    Anyway, just thought I’d share. Any golf joke always reminds me of that poor old man that probably suffered dementia and a terribly lame sense of humour.

  3. Jeff – so you are that whippersnapper in the black and white stripes that used to work behind the counter at Wattle Park. Good to hear from you again. The mind is as sharp as ever, but I love annoying Collingwood fans.
    Mr Wrap – poke enough sticks and even the sleepiest bears wake up. I was worried you may have passed on when there was no response to Yvette’s pictures and all the Tiger threads. Things must be tough in the Wrap Cave after the Hawks success.
    Regards to all,
    Wally of Wattle Park.

  4. Jeez, it’s really you Wal! It’s been bugging me for ages looking at your avatar and not being able to put a name to the face. Still emerging from the bushes at the 5th tee and regailing floggers with that hum dinger? You must have broken 100 (years) by now.

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