World Cup 2014 – Brazil v Germany: ‘Tell’em They’re Dreamin’!’

I know they beat us in Brazil last year.

I know they gave us a bagel as a parting gift.
(It musn’t’ve been any good, given how eager we were to get served a French bagel, not long afterwards).

But ever since the immensely ‘Un-Brazilian’ way the Seleção qualified for today’s semi-final against Germany, I felt they needed a good dose of Australiana to give them some much needed perspective.

It might have allowed them to be aware, thus perhaps avoid, the most authentic athletic reproduction of Dennis Denuto, I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching.

‘It’s just the vibe of the thing’, was how it started for anyone watching.

Unlike the opening against Colombia, the Brazilians looked to put the significant absences on their team-sheet behind them, with football. They pressed Germany all over the park. Stand-in skipper David Luiz sprayed the ball confidently to his wingers and Manuel Neuer was the first keeper called into action – intercepting Hulk’s cut-back.

Germany were under heavy pressure, but they did not fall apart. They banded together like a team, a family even. A Teutonic representation of the Kerrigans, able to face down with the authentic dignity only a true larrikin can muster, what they recognised as an opposing system that appeared formidable, but founded primarily on bluster.

It WAS just the vibe of the thing, and rather than end up ‘sweating here’, Germany turned up the heat, by playing good, solid, technical football.

Just like they did against the ‘Maradona Re-Inspired’ Argentina in South Africa 2010, the Germans took what they were given. And stayed true to themselves.

The first result that got them was a gift. Brazil, a happy beneficiary of virtially identical largesse in their first two knockout games of this tournament, turned provider this time. First, their attacking rhythm was self-interrupted by a lazy giveaway of the ball by advancing left-back Marcelo.

That led to a German break into the space left open down their attacking right-flank.

Not surprisingly, Germany got themselves a corner as a result.

And then ‘the vibe of the thing’ became apparent.

Sure, the attacking sense and creative flair of the talismanic Neymar was going to be missed. But the forgotten truth behind the obvious dismay, was just how necessary … Not important! How absolutely necessary suspended Captain Thiago Silva was to marshall the discipline of Brazil’s defence.

It was Silva, who could harness the vibe of the moment, of the match as a whole, to keep his flighty replacement as Captain, Luiz, reasonably accountable for such a free spirit. And with him gone …

Well, you saw what happened. For those who didn’t let me tell you that a disorganised defence is often described as being at ‘sixes & sevens’. But when Brazil crash – vibe and all – they do it ‘inflationary style’, at ‘9’s & 11’s.

No-one had any idea what they were doing as the German corner floated in. Unlike Brazil’s gifts in the earlier matches, the ball didn’t need to reach the back post for an entirely unmarked Thomas Muller, coming up-the-middle, to carefully sidefoot it past the flailing, deserted by his defenders goalkeeper, Julio Cesar.

A disappointing setback?

Little did he know, but watching, you could feel the vibes get ugly, the way a charlatanic medium would when Lucifer walked through their door asking for directions to the nearest ‘reputable’ pitchfork repair-shop.

And it didn’t take long for the horror to become explicit. This wasn’t ‘The Exorcist’ inspiring fear and dread. This was ‘The Exorcist II’ with the haples Cesar in the Richard Burton ‘how did it come to this?’ role.

So woeful, it made you want to turn away. So deliciously bad, you couldn’t take your eyes off it.

Wave after German attacking wave breached a Brazilian defensive line as effective as the levy ‘protecting’ New Orleans against Hurricane Katrina, with the Brazilian response being as effectively organised as FEMA’s feeble efforts in 2005. Thankfully this was just a sporting tragedy, and one hopes the anarchy that will undoubtedly ensue, will not be as sad and tragic as almost a decade ago.

Klose beat Cesar at the second attempt to open the floodgates, before a game of Sunday afternoon ‘park football’ broke out, with Germany effortlessly kicking into destruct-mode, as Brazil fell into the defensive oblivion of a group of Under 7’s, playing their first competitive match together.

Kroos, Kroos, Khedira. Bang. Bang! BANG!

TWENTY-NINE MINUTES IN … Brazil 0 – Germany 5.

And although Kroos’ first effort was at least a beautifully taken, first time shot on his non-preferred left foot, goals 4 & 5 were almost exact replicas of my Year 9 Greek Orthodox Colleges Divisional Qualifier.

That’s how marginal AND how effortless Germany was finding the going, cutting through the Brazilian ‘resistance’.

(I can’t call it a defense any more).

That was how the first-half ended. 5-0 Germany, the game effectively over.

The only question was, would Brazil’s descent continue in the second-half? Would they fall deeper into the lens-grinder and make an indelible spectacle of themselves?

It bears noting. Recent World Cups have seen host nations reach the Semi-Finals in 2002 & 2006. But South Korea and Germany respectively were competitive, even if they weren’t as nominally ‘favoured’ as Brazil were going into the game.

Maybe ‘the vibe’ WAS all wrong, with the emotional focus overwhelmingly on who was missing. Ultimately though, another quote in the spirit of that dose of Australiana, ‘The Castle’, that Brazil would have been wise to utilise, has the situation covered from all angles.

‘Brazil 2014 World Cup Semi-Final Score:’
‘Germany 7 – 1 Brazil.’
‘Tell ’em they’re dreamin!’

Germany doesn’t wanna wake up!


  1. In Paris at present. The French do not want Germany to win the final.

  2. I got Germany @ $6-50 to win the World Cup. One win to go!


  3. Dennis Gedling says

    The self righteousness of the Brazilian national team has always riled me so I was glad this team of chancers was exposed on the biggest stage of all…and especially David Luiz. I felt sorry for Bernard who is only 21 and thrown to the (German) Wolves replacing Neymar in the line up only to watch his teammates up the other end do keystone cops. The lack of reaction from Scolari was priceless. Couldn’t he see after even the first goal Germany were going to keep picking them off. The whole national anthem shirt thing was over the top and unnecessary too. Didn’t see Argentina walk out on to the pitch with a coffin for Di Stefano before the semi final this morning.

  4. Gregor Lewis says

    Dips, don’t mention the war!

    Glen, good luck to you.

    Dennis, that sort of exhibitionism is always likely to backfire. As you say mate, no base in this Brazilian team.
    Against the resolute foundation of Germany that was always gonna spell trouble – L-U-I-Z …


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