Why I Hate Victorians


It’s been a slow burn for me this week.  The Avenging Eagle has been full of manic confidence since we disposed of the Collingwood pretenders. I love footy while she loves the Eagles.  


I guess it’s my nomadic history as a Croweater for the first 30 years before moving to the national capital for a decade and now settling in the West for the last 20.  I don’t have her single-minded love of the Eagles, as much as a mutual burning hatred of all things Victorian.


Reassuringly that enmity has returned in recent days, fuelled by puerile media focus on all things Dusty, Bucks and Demons fairy-tales.  Local media is now overwhelmed due to it’s economic and cultural appropriation by dominant institutions from the East.  


Perth newspapers, radio and TV are ‘cut and paste’ versions of the Hun, SEN and Fox Footy/News with the local weather report inserted as faux “we love Perth” reassurance.


My Eagles are cast as the Ugly Stepsisters daring to try on the glass slipper that obviously belongs to Melbourne’s Cinderella.  Our proper role is to join the mice pulling the carriage that takes Nathan Jones to the Grand Final ball.


It was ever thus.  I grew up in the `60s under the drab, grey, omnipresent national shadow of Robert Menzies’ Wimmera Presbyterian paternalism. What was the alternative? The racist xenophobia of another Victorian – Arthur Calwell’s ALP working class bigotry.  It took Don Dunstan and Gough Whitlam (both from warmer states) to drag Australia into civilising sunshine in the 1970s.


Cricket in the `60s was Bill Lawry.  Not the eccentric pigeon fancier, mad uncle screaming “he’s gone” to get a Kerry Packer pay cheque commentating WSC pyjama cricket.  Bill was Australian cricket’s last dinosaur captain.  Eking out a run an over as an opening batsman.  Six men on the boundary and refusing to bowl spinners.  The last in a long list of stern Victorian misers who dominated Australian cricket for decades – Ponsford, Ryder, Woodfull.


Again it was a South Australian and a Sydneysider in Ian Chappell and Packer who dragged cricket out of the indentured slavery and misery of the Victorian era.


Footy was worse.  Local leagues were forcibly impoverished and SA talent like Blight, Kernahan, Platten, Bradley and West Australians like Farmer and Cable were bribed to abandon their homes to feed their families. Look at the “North Melbourne” premiership teams of the `70s built on the back of interstate talent like Blight, Cable and Crosswell.  Geelong teams with Farmer, Peake, Featherby, Watts, Bairstow, Bryan Cousins.  More Western Australia than Western Victoria. Throw in Tasmanian Billy Goggin and Brownlow Medallist Bernie Smith from SA and it’s obvious that Geelong success in the VFL era was built on marketing itself as the “small town club for moving to Victorian money without having to move to bleak city”.


It’s a long and inevitable history of economic imperialism to starve out the locals. Like Irish potato farmers forced to emigrate or starve.  Sadly some like Swish Schwerdt can never afford to return and have to sell their daughters into pie girl penury. [Remember her confessions of a pie-girl pieces!]


The great thoroughbred horsemen of Australian racing – Bart Cummings, Colin Hayes and John Hawkes – were all born and learned their craft in South Australia but eventually moved interstate to chase the riches. 


Victoria is a cultural wasteland, so South Australians like songwriter Paul Kelly have to masquerade as Victorians to chase opportunity.  The Redlegs he’ll be supporting this weekend come from the Norwood Parade and not the Melbourne Club.  SA even provides the Grand Final entertainment from Elizabeth’s Jimmy Barnes.  Adelaide’s Twilights were the core of LRB’s international hits in the `70s.  The Masters Apprentices gave us Glen Wheatley, gave us Johnny Farnham.  Nuff said.


It’s why Croweaters and Sandgropers worshiped State of Origin football in the `80s.  It was finally our chance to compete as equals on the big stage, without half the “Victorian” opposition being turncoats.  Who killed off State of Origin footy?  Mick Malthouse – a Victorian. Happy to come west for money and fame, but refusing to let his players compete when they couldn’t offer him personal reflected glory.


If you can’t beat `em, hobble `em is the Victorian motto.  No hatred burns deeper in an ageing Croweater than the destruction of Barrie Robran’s knee by the malicious thuggery of a Leigh Matthews’ late collision well after Robran had marked the ball in an interstate match at the SCG.  The fairest, most beautiful and talented footballer of our age brought down by a Victorian paid assassin for having the temerity to refuse to join the VFL. One is in the Hall of Fame, the other will always be a malicious brute to me despite his late career reinvention as “Uncle Barney” on TV and as premiership coach.  


VFL National (trading as AFL) is a feudal model as old as time.  The local peasants can farm the land, but beyond subsistence the money flows back to the lord’s castle.  The aristocracy use the money to buy the media and the politicians so they can control the laws and the narrative. We get the crumbs, they get the gold.  We mine the minerals, Essendon misanthrope Peter Costello’s GST rort sends the money to Melbourne via Canberra. 


It’s the divine right of kings.  Melbourne fans bleating about expensive flights via Singapore.  We face that at least a dozen times a year.  Going to the Grand Final will set AE and I back at least $5,000 with tickets, flights and accommodation for two. But it’s worth it for the opportunity to gain an equal seat at the king’s table for a week, and hopefully take home the spoils.


Victorians squeal like stuck pigs when they are scheduled a Thursday night final.  “What about the farmers and the schoolchildren denied their Victorian birthright to attend MCG finals” they cry.  “Schedule it in Perth where they don’t have schools or farms.”


VFL National (trading as AFL) scheduling of a Saturday preliminary final in Perth to give the Tigers and Pies an extra day’s recovery time was too clever by half.  The Perth heat on Saturday afternoon will have the Dees melting by half time, and the well rested Eagles cruising to another Grand Final on a perfect day for Kennedy, McGovern and Darling’s high marking feats.


Defeated Dees like Americans after the Gulf War bleating “what is our oil doing under your sand?”


My hatred is bubbling.  I remember my 10 year old first visit to Victoria when our family ventured from Renmark to Mildura for a swim in their “Olympic” Pool.  I piss in your water and poison your well.  


(Sorry Citrus Bob.  Hope you weren’t there that day in 1965.  I’ll buy you a beer and personally apologise at the Almanac Grand Final lunch. How did your grandson’s team go this year?)


I may lack the Avenging Eagle’s unblinking passion, but my enemy’s enemy is my friend.


Go Eagles.


In victory revenge.  In defeat malice.


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  1. Peter B; I enjoy your contributions. However this time I don’t know where to start-too much red mist! “Victoria is a cultural wasteland” I suppose if Melbourne had more churches and serial killers (Snowtown; the most disturbing film I have seen) it would be more like fertile Adelaide, but thank you for giving us Cold Chisel, The Angels and the people’s poet Paul Kelly. I hope you make it to the MCG grannie just so you can stand on your seat and read your ‘love letter to Victoria’ out loud, hehe.

  2. Peter Baulderstone; is that a nom de plume for the spirit of Keith Watson ? I also had to check if this was posted on April 8, a most revered date in Western Australian whinging

    I. like you, remember the old days of the VFL, WAFL, SANFL, where the Best players all came to Victoria to mix it with the best. Sure some stayed behind, finding it easier being a big fish in a small pond. I’ll give credit to Barry Robran. His sons played in the Big League.

    No use raising nuanced points like where is the machinery , you use in your mines built. Actually i shouldn’t say that as Victoria now manufactures next to nothing. I’m sure Matthias Cormann didn’t shed tears at he demise of Victorian manufacturing. More money made speculating in the West.

    Like you Peter i hope your Eagles whip the old bourgeoisie comprising the Melbourne football Club. Then the Eagles can travel to journey forth to the home of Australian sport, the ‘G’ where a Victorian side will demolish them.

    Don’t despair. Maybe you can coax some other Sandgropers to resurrect the colony of Auralia.


  3. This is the best thing I’ve read on the Almanac for quite some time.

    I have never been to Perth, but through Peter Baulderstone’s musings I visit it vicariously.

    But claiming some sort of cultural superiority for indirectly bestowing Johnny Farnham on us? I draw the line at that

  4. Brilliance up there with Smokie’s “why I hate Richmond” piece last year, PB. Expect to hook many fish from the big pond. Very much feels like last year, where Richmond’s “we’re the fairytale just because we’ve been unbearably crap for thirty something years”, completely overwhelmed in the media (and on the Almanac) the fact that their opponents had possibly produced the most resilient few seasons of football ever seen. Ah well, to the victor(ian) goes the spoils.

  5. Yvette Wroby says


    love the angst. We will see, is all I can say about this weekend and next. Look forward to a hug either way.

  6. Brilliant, PB.
    Now we’re getting somewhere.

    Can probably trace all this back to the Ballarat gold fields.

    “the best things in life are free
    but you can keep them for the birds & bees – now give me…”

  7. 99% in agreement. Have to draw the line at Melbourne being a cultural wasteland though. And Glen, although i’ve lived in Perth, and continue to regularly work in WA, I’ve never heard of the April 8 whinge before – can you enlighten me?

  8. ahh GOM!!
    you have done it again. Your ability to condemn anything Victoria is second to none.
    However over the years we have given you (for a loan) David Parkin, Hassa Mann, Ken Meuleman, Matthew Innes, Hayden Bunton, Klinger to name but a few.
    Gracious of you to come over next week to spend time in Fed Square.
    Only been in Mildura 11 years but they still talk about this bloke peeing in the Olympic Pool and as for the grandson well -“if you aint got the catttle you will never win a flag”> So it is with Geelong they will need to improve a hell of a lot in the next three years to bring home the bacon.

  9. george smith says

    I think you will find that it was NSW that dominated Cricket even in the Chappel era. It was the Chappel brothers versus the NSW icon Bradman, and his cronies like Bill OReilly, who dreamed of an team of 10 spinners and a wicket keeper. Many undeserving players – John Watkins, Brian Taber, Bruce Francis et al got a run at the national 11 whereas many Victorians and West Australians missed out.

    Coupled with Kerry Packer’s arrogance – does anyone who hasn’t worked for channel 9 Really remember the results of Super Cricket? And we had an unholy mess and no victory over the Windies until 1992!

    Because Cricket on Channel 9 is unwatchable Cricket has slowly lost relevance as a big sport like Australian Football. The West Coast hard done by stories over the years, thanks to George Ned Grljusich and his friends, have kept the rivalry alive, in a way that cricket hasn’t. West Coast is the most successful team in modern times, apart from the gang of 5 greedy guts that got us all in a financial pickle in the first place. Aussie Rules has deadly threats from soccer, basketball and Rugby (both bits). Do you really want our best sport to fall into irrelevance like cricket and horse racing because of internal bickering?

  10. G’day rabid dog.

    in WA on April 8 1933 a referendum was held to secede from Australia. 68% of the voters voted yes, but it was also a state election day with the incumbent Nationalists voted out. The incoming ALP was happy for WA to remain part of this big, wide brown land, that is the nation of Australia.

    Other attempts have been mentioned about WA going it alone, and we’d be aware one of the impediments against Australian Federation was that WA voters opposed the concept.

    The long running saga of WA versus the rest, especially us Vics sure has a few more twists and turns. Especially when the 2018 flag stays in Victoria !


  11. george smith says

    And another thing! I tried to get my nephew home from Perth some months ago because he had a nose operation and was advised not to fly. No problem I said, put him on the bus, I’ll pick him up this end. george, said my sister, there is no bus. What? It’s true – between Ceduna and Norseman there is stuffall, nada, useful thought by Tony Abbott…

    Because the train is a glorified Puffing Billy, there are no cheap seats there either, it costs $2000 for looksury.

    Fortunately he was given the clearance to fly.

    How did this happen – I blame you West Australians, for not being vigilant.

    Getting over here is OK on cheap flights in off peak times, but a disaster waiting to happen when everyone wants to travel.

  12. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    I’m a bit conflicted, given that I’m a father of two Victorians one of whom featured with Dane Swan in the Hun as the face of Victoria (ouch that hurt). They are outnumbered at home however.

    Beware of South Australians who move across seeking a new life. You don’t know what baggage we, er they may have brought with them.

  13. Nice try, PB.

    But we know you secretly love us.

    Hopefully we’ll be catching up at HQ next Saturday.

  14. Thanks all. Fun to remember a lifetime of real (and imagined) slights.
    BOD – That is how Mississippi plantation owners feel. We feed them. We house them. And this is how they show their gratitude.
    Glen! – Your political history knowledge is matched only by your footy ignorance. You called Barrie “Barry”.
    Shame. Shame. Shame.
    Smokie – Just trying to channel my inner Litza. Johnny Farnham or Kevin Sheedy? Australia’s greatest plumber. Discuss.
    DB – What else to do in the lead up to a big game? Poke bears with sticks.
    Yvette – We’re both in the irrational passions business. Don’t let AE see us.
    ER – The best thing about footy finals is the reason to be 8yo again for a whole week.
    Rabs – Victorian culture is all imported. Victorian NATIONAL Gallery delusions of grandeur. All imports. Rembrandt. Heidelberg School??? Tom Roberts was a pom. Ramming the shears.
    Citrus – Who are those blokes? I guess John Batman gave you Vics a heritage of paying trinkets for treasures.
    George – Bradman and Bill O’Reilly cronies? No two Australian cricketers hated each other more. Proddies and Micks. Well at least until Davey Warner.
    Swish – They know where you live so I understand your reticence. Thanks for the backhander. Saved me having to comment on Daryn Cresswell on your Swans post.

  15. PB
    Squeak your squeaks and pull the carriage.
    Ramming the Shears was the work of another Great Victorian (whose little sketches were once honoured to share a page with my musings)
    You have taken up residence on Pluto. Don’t now complain that it’s cold and everyone is damning you as a Plutonian and saying you aren’t even on a real planet. Enjoy the meteor showers and the lurid mists or whatever it is you have for entertainment there.
    I’ll tell you how easy it is when you live on Earth. Last night Brother in Law rings and says he’s got two spare bookings in the MCC dining room with attendant reserved seats outside, the best in the house. I enjoy the dimwitted shenanigans of Pa Kettle, but as there are no Pa Kettle movies scheduled I tell BIL that, okay, I’ll mosey along to the G and have a gander because I have a svelte new overcoat I want to test out to see if it sheds beer. So it will be a couple of pints, a bottle of Pepperjack, go outside and watch the footy if it’s close, (the empty, reserved seats will be waiting) a couple more pints, commiserate with Langers (his son plays for the Pies but he barracks for The Tiges and I find it more fun to commiserate than congratulate) before some Rechabite in a four-cylinder, perfumed Uber drives me home. Simple. You’ve just got to live on an actual planet, breathe air, and avoid bigamy.
    (That last advice offered after I read between the lines of your Plutonian jeremiad.)

  16. Superior class of wind up, PB. :)

    You sound toey.

    See you next week.

  17. Colin Ritchie says

    Fab stuff PB!
    I can hear Teddy Whitten from up above defending his beloved Victorians under attack.
    “Stick it right up em!”

  18. Thanks PB et al. The footy is just the place to bring out our irrational hatreds, grudges, memories of implied slights and injustices and just plain chips on our shoulders. Everyone is 8 years old for at least a week and posibly more. Keeps us all young. And all because it matters so much and so little, all at the same time.

  19. PB- that was tremendous fun. Enjoy the next week, including the announcement of the Richmond Royal Commission. I’m in the proud midst of a most South Australian weekend including: a Victor Harbor retreat, Coopers, the SANFL grand final, and chicken salt.


  20. Valid response PB.

    I take on board my ignorance of B Robran’s Christian name.

    If you don’t mind i will plead my case . The generic spelling of that name is Barry. The fact he has a spelling, probably unique to South Australians, reflects he never came to Victoria to play against the ‘ big-boys’, preferring to play in the back yard cricket variant of footy: the SANFL.

    Hope my football ignorance is now excused/understood.


  21. Phillip Dimitriadis says

    Love it PB !
    It’s been a while since I’ve felt you be this combative. Victorians cop shit for ruining the WAFL and SANFL, but we also ruined the VFL and the VFA. Money is not the root of all evil, but Greed comes close.
    Be prepared for another level of filth and fury next week, should you prevail over the Dees today. Go Pies !!

  22. Irresistible title. Lots of fun. Great writing PB.

    Good luck today mate. Hope the Eagles win with Kennedy and Darling going down in the last quarter.

  23. PB, love it!

    Re your rhetorical to Smokes, Tuck. No discussion needed.

    Way way back and in the late 70s Dad and sons attended a State of Origin at Subiaco. Having been born in the big V we were barracking for the big V. Ten year old kid with his parents couldn’t handle anyone not a Sandgroper. Asked why I was barracking for the big V. When explained he didn’t miss a beat. Said well why don’t you fuck off back there. His dad patted him on the shoulder. I thought it was the best advise ever. And I did. Good luck this afternoon. Your mob is the real deal.


  24. AJC – I had a Labor mate who travelled first class and ate at the best restaurants – at taxpayer expense. He used to say “nothings too good for a socialist. One day everyone will live like this – we just got here first”. You must be related. Nothing beats having some skin in the game. Oops – let the bigamy stuff slip again.
    JB – At least you have your memories.
    Col – I was channeling the ‘reverse Teddy”. Stick it right up him.
    Ken – Thanks. You said so elegantly and concisely what we all feel. It matters so much – and so little. Australian Multiclubturalism.
    Mickey – Any other weeks I’d love to join you. Scott Morrison can double up. Cronulla lost last night.
    Glun? – Fare anuf.
    Lord Bogan – Dunno what’s happened to Collingwood. Christ Masten has you beaten for tatts. Lose a few teeth.
    DB – Hope Jeremy Howe’s broken ankle doesn’t harm his leap next week.
    Thanks all. Sitting at Optus Stadium now. Writing to calm the nerves. Its a cloudless hot day for September. Yippee.

  25. Anthony Thomas says

    West Coast finishes the home and away season in second place, while Collingwood finishes third. West Coast beats Collingwood in the first week of the finals. Yet Collingwood gets to play the Grand Final at their home ground. Methinks you may rest your case PB…

  26. Superb PB yes I admit I don’t follow the extended vfl any where near as much as I used to there is a certain romance in a Aish being a premiership player

  27. george smith says

    All this West Oz angst will be washed away like the surf at Margaret river if the Weagles salute the judge at 5.30 EST next week. It is as the footy oracles foretold – you will catch the plane to Perth on grand final day, you will be surrounded by Weagles fans and they will be insufferable. Why didn’t I catch the bus? Oh that’s right, it’s not running!

  28. Andrew Walker says

    Peter, it’s almost enough to make me barrack for Collingwood next Saturday. Almost. I can’t bring myself to do that!

  29. I’d be happy for the 2018 Grand Final annulled , with it being recorded in the history books as no-result.


  30. daniel flesch says

    Great spray , PB , but three minor-ish points.1) I thought your Kerry Stokes runs the media over West , so how come it’s so full of NewsCorpse and other Eastern – originated crap ? 2) Australia’s greatest plumber is neither Johnny Farnham nor Kevin Sheedy . That honour shared by Bill Lawry aforementioned and Michael Tuck. And 3) Jimmy Barnes might have lived in Elizabeth but as you well know he’s from Pomgolia. Have a great time in Melbourne , but watch out for the Sudanese gangs when you go out for dinner , lol.

  31. When too much Eagles is never enough.
    The back of my balding sconce on 7 News last night at 0:26 on the first video, booking Melbourne flights half way through the second quarter. The Avenging Eagle much more fetching in her panama.
    No tension about the match result yesterday, but waiting for the ticket ballot??**!! Aagh…………

  32. george smith says

    Cheapest flight Perth to Adelaide is $449 on Thursday . There is a morning flight to Adelaide for $449 on Friday both of which give you plenty of time to get the bus or train to Melbourne by 2.30pm on Saturday. There is an evening flight for $369 to Adelaide, surprise surprise, but it arrives 10pm so you would have to workshop your way out of Trendsville to get to Melbourne by 2.30pm Saturday, not likely…

    I haven’t even tried to check out flights home for you lot…

  33. On your side here PB. As one PB to another, I could not agree more re L.Matthews and Barrie Robran, not to mention N. Bruns. As a disinterested Port Adelaide supporter, in all their forms, I am actually hoping for the Collywobbles to be caught with 19 men on the field, preferably late in the last quarter, get their whole score expunged, than watch FIGJAM and E. McGuire explode. Almost as good as my long held fantasy of a D. Grainger screw punt goal after the siren for a 1 point win.

    I suppose we should excuse the convict colony of Port Phillip. To quote one Ivy Compton-Burnett – ” I cannot help the low quality of people, they seem to be a different order from myself”. Fingers crossed for the Weagles on Satdee, as KG would say!

  34. How can you hate all Vics when at least one is decent enough to pass this on:


  35. Anthony; two points. 1. The Pies had to get over the ‘unbeatable’ top team, last year’s premiers who had won 22 games straight. We did WC a favor by removing the Tiges from their path. 2. Perhaps if an interstate club had a ground that held anywhere near 100k punters…it might happen.
    PB. Aren’t you masquerading as a Western Australian chasing opportunity, of a Premiership or something else? LOL. You bait well; fisherman extraordinaire?

  36. BOD/ER/Luke/MOC – F’in hell. Booked the flights. Booked the accommodation. Missed out on the Eagles members ticket ballot. AAAARRRGGHHH.
    17,000 Eagles members got seats. 4,000 missed out. Guess who lobbed in the losing category??? Haven’t had a bet for 10 years and I can still stop a $1.20 pot dead in it’s tracks. Winx had better watch out if I ever put $5 on it.
    You Victorians have well and truly got your revenge. I’m willing to wear black and white and pay a premium to get a seat……………..
    F’in AFL; F’in MCC; F’in suits and corporates. For all the talk about 100,000 seat capacity at the “Home of Sport” (Home of Money more like) – how come 60,000 paid up and passionate FOOTY CLUB members (from both teams) got into Optus Stadium on Saturday – but only 34,000 Eagles and Collingwood members get into the MCf’inG for the biggest match of our lives (when you’re my age you don’t know when your club will get there again in an 18 team comp).
    I know as many or more Magpies fans have missed out but you don’t have to work out how to book flights and accommodation (and dog sitters) just to get there. If you wait they screw you for $’s; if you book in advance it’s Lotto.
    Bob Dylan had it right. “Money doesn’t talk, it swears”.

  37. I agree Peter. It’s an absolute disgrace. 32,000 for competing clubs. 68,000 for corporate [email protected] and/or AFL/MCC members who most likely support other teams. It’s just wrong. Some of the people I know who have access to tickets (with no real passion for footy or the teams involved), well it just gives me the shiiiits.

  38. Yep, until they stop giving exclusive access to two groups of Victorians to 48,000 of the seats, the MCG is effectively a 52,000 seat stadium – smaller than Perth Stadium and Adelaide Oval.

  39. PB. Sorry to hear you missed out. The AFL give GF tix to all clubs to do as they wish with. According to the AFL:
    {Access to AFL Grand Final tickets is fundamental for Clubs to meet their financial obligations. Clubs utilise AFL Grand Final tickets giving them the ability to raise additional revenue, service sponsor and stakeholder obligations and to sell specific hospitality packages for the AFL Grand Final.
    The current economic climate continues to place extreme financial pressure on all AFL Clubs, many of which receive increased distributions from the AFL in order to remain viable. Without access to AFL Grand Final tickets many Clubs would be unable to remain financially viable.}
    Seems to me to be a poor excuse, that struggling AFL clubs would not be viable without the tickets to sell off. How much money does the AFL make each year? The fans of the GF clubs should get priority and the other clubs compensated from the AFL slush fund; or indeed from the money from the sales of tickets TO THE COMPETING CLUB FANS.

  40. Peter – I recall issuing an invitation back in May for my Tigers and your Eagles to resume hostilities on Saturday and I guess you and I both expected to be there. Now I’m not sure who is more disappointed. I could have got a ticket (yes, one of those 48,000, Dave) but now have no interest. You have the interest but no ticket. Life sucks sometimes.
    Anyway – as a proud Victorian, I want you to know that there will be at least five million of us hoping that the Eagles do the right thing and deny Collingwood an undeserved flag. That peanut Adam Treloar must be completely ignorant of the history of footy in this state if he expects the unaligned to side with the Magpies!
    Good luck with the ticket search and even better luck on Saturday.

  41. Luke Reynolds says

    Peter, look forward to seeing you on Friday. In Victoria.

    I’ve been lucky enough to get a ticket for myself and one of my sons to the GF. Have put out feelers for tickets for my other son, and for a Sandgroper and his Avenging wife. Not sure how I’ll go. Will let you know. Go Pies.

  42. Jim Kesselschmidt says

    Sorry to her you didn’t score a ticket. It’s a sham. Price gouging and ineqitable for the regular punter.

    Your amusing and diffucult vent (re not getting access to tickets) reminds me of the book Robert Bolt never wrote ” A man for all states” (other than Victoria). By the way, where is this place called Western Australia?

    I was lucky enough to particpate in a wonderful 9 day bicycle ride with 1400 of my closest friends sleeping cheek by jowl in tents….. ?2013 a few hours south of Perth with a rest day in Margaret river. My only experience of WA. How magnificent it was. Stunning with magic moments of breathtaking beauty : sheer joy & wonderment. The ride of course was organized by Bicycle Victoria

  43. PB – like Luke, I’m still hunting for tickets for son number two and a close friend. If they land, you’re next.

    Do you have any pre-game plans? I can offer a glass of champagne at a friend’s place overlooking the MCG car park from 11am.

    Stainless – you don’t seem to be coping too well, old chap.. What on earth would be « undeserved » about this Premiership (for EITHER team)? I’m not sure about your stats either. I’ve been surprised about the number of non-Collingwood Victorians on the Magpie wagon.

  44. No tickets for this little black duck, either, PB.


  45. G’day MOC – coping just fine, thanks. My first stress-free footy week for ages! How about yourself though? I’m concerned. Not recognising “tongue-in-cheek” is a sure sign that you’re taking it way too seriously. Don’t worry mate – it’s in the bag. Saturday will be a breeze! No pressure :)

  46. PB I’m just back from a trip to deepest darkest Africa. I gained enormous perspective taking in that incredible continent. We flew home via a town called Perth. Quaint little place. If I get a spare afternoon I might take a look around next time I’m there. The people seemed friendly until I told one that barracking for the Eagles or Collingwood is like deciding whether to eat boiled or fried dog turds.

    Anyway, I’mn my humble view the difference between those outside and those inside Victoria is that non-Victorians seem to spend an enormous amount of time pondering the inhabitants of this State, whereas Victorians don’t give other States one moment of thought whatsoever. We couldn’t give a stuff.

    I’ll watch the national game’s Grand Final on Saturday and try to figure out where my tortured heart lies. It will be tough. And when it’s over I’ll mow the Victorian grass that is taking over my nature strip, and won’t give the game another thought until next pre-season. Bring on the Spring Carnival!!

  47. Hehe. Never doubted you, Stainless. Good to have you on board ;)

    Cant afford to take it too seriously. This is my 12th Collingwood Grand Final week (inc a couple of « doubles ») and the strike rate of 2-2-7 is not great reading.

    Hopefully the Pica didn’t peak last Friday.

  48. Well Keith Watson, sorry, Peter Baulderstone. I retract my posting of 21/9/18. Congratulations. Great victory.

    My only gripe is seeing that vile Julie Bishop on the TV. Can’t youse pick a decent person as your numero uno ticket holder?

    Again congratulations; great victory.


  49. John Butler says

    PB, in retrospect, I don’t know why you didn’t claim sole responsibility for the Eagles’eventual flag.

    A hot gospeller’s wind up to rival Alan Killigrew. (who, BTW, was Victorian).


  50. PB it has been amusing in one spot I posted the article on face book the lack of a sense of humour by some victorians !

  51. Wonderful stuff, summed up the issue perfectly. Could I suggest that the paragraph re the destruction of Robran’s knee by El Thuggo could be enhanced slightly by a small reference to his attack on one N. Bruns?

    Pretty sure there are some younger Collywobblers who don’t even know how to find the airport.

  52. With Perth and Adelaide as the logical hubs for AFL for the season there will be ample opportunity to extend the same hospitality to Victorians they have extended to us over the decades. $2,000 return airfare with Qantas as the sole airline. $500 a night (14 night minimum stay) for interstate fans during the finals. Carlton can play in Perth as their hub, with so many WA boys on the list. We’ll keep Patrick Cripps for next season as rent. I’ll. fire up the BBQ for the FA Grand Final lunch.

  53. Earl O'Neill says

    Grand words, Peter! Let us not forget Swans and Bears being whored out to any silly millionaire dumb enough to prop up the bankrupt VFL.

  54. Well Peter i need to remove/delete my posting of 30/9/18. My post of 21/9/18, i should review or at least edit it.
    At least you’re consistent in your ongoing desire to kick a Vic.
    Your current tirade reminds me you have internalised the spirits of James MaCallum Smith, Alfred Chandler, and Keith Watson in this posting.
    Surely it’s time to talk with Gina Rinehart about funding the 21st century Westralian secessionist movement. Her father ,Lang Hancock, was all for it the last century.
    Maybe if Westralia could break away from the rest of us, youse could float West to merge with South Africa. Why do i equate these two entities?


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