We will fight them on the beaches

The pre-match address of Darien O’Reilly, coach of the Adelaide Uni Chardonnay Socialists, before their (victorious) match against Gepps Cross:


“I have, myself, full confidence that if all do their duty, if nothing is neglected, and if the best arrangements are made, as they are being made, we shall prove ourselves once again able to defend our Parkland home, to ride out the storm from Gepps Cross, and to outlive the menace of district tyranny, if necessary for years, if necessary alone.

At any rate, that is what the Chardonnays are going to try to do. That is the resolve of the leadership group -every man of them. That is the will of the team and the AUFC.

The Chardonnay Socialists and the Scum, linked together in their cause and in their need, will defend to the death their native soil, their Park Ten, aiding each other like good comrades to the utmost of their strength and their footballing ability.

Even though large tracts of the Parklands and many old and famous grounds have fallen or may fall into the grip of the Gepps Cross Gestapo and all the odious apparatus of Nazi District rule, we shall not flag or fail.

We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France,
we shall fight on Park Ten and Bob Neil Number One,

we shall fight them on the left and right wings
we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, our Park Ten whatever the cost may be,
we shall fight in the backlines
we shall fight on the flanks
we shall fight in the pockets and in the corridor,
we shall fight all over the ground;
we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, the Chardonnay Socialists or a large part of them were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond Frome Road, armed and guarded by our onballers, would carry on the struggle, until, in Bob Neil’s good time, the New Chardonnay Socialists, with all their power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old.





  1. Mulcaster says

    Big improvemnet on the way the Dockers have butchered the Volga boatmans’s song.

  2. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Entertaining as always Dirty from The Worlds Greatest Football Club

  3. I do remember this game… Thinking it was my 3rd or 4th game for the Chards, An these words did come true there was a fight and a mighty one at that..

  4. David Jean says

    One of many memorable Darien O’Reilly speeches. There was his emotional plea for the Chards to fight for their right to party after a founding member of the Beastie Boys passed away. And my favorite “Butts deep …”

  5. One of the greatest speeches in (Chardonnay) history.

  6. My personal favourite Dirty address was when he’d bought himself a tape (they were before CD’s for the youngsters) of 80’s Tv show theme tunes and made us guess the shows while we got changed. He then put in a tape of Abba’s greatest hits and cranked it up while we went out to warm up. The Fitzroy boys in the old Park 10 rooms couldn’t hear their coach screaming at them as his prematch address because he was getting drowned out by Dancing Queen. Hilarious. We smashed em…

  7. Truly a joy to listen to his pre-match addresses*. Nothing motivates quite like humour.
    (*…certainly much better than the half or 3/4 time versions when losing.)

  8. Dirty is certainly the gold medallist for pre-match addresses – just edging out Spook Montgomery for the entertainment factor.

  9. Nice work.

  10. Nice one Arfa…

  11. Tom Martin says

    “Never before in the field of football contests, has so much been owed by so many to so few.” Another pearl of wisdom to rouse his charges after an otherwise unremarkable game in which, yet again, there were too many passengers in the Chards team for Dirty’s liking. Or uttered when prodding the more hard-core Socialists to cease their dependence on the welfare state and bring some fcuking amuse-bouche and bubbles for the pre-match party. As he thoroughly intended to, usually next week. I can’t remember.

    No, I’m making this up, as you can probably see. But that’s really the point with Dirty – his antics often leave one thinking, ‘You couldn’t make this stuff up.’

    I can’t recall ever having the privilege of a Dirty pre-game address, but I am more than familiar with this trademark schtick, which I might call ‘Take An Idiotic Notion And Paint It Silly’.

    As for the gold medal, TC I’ll leave that judgement to you. You’ve seen more than many.

    Spook set a high standard for pre-match nonsense though, and by contrast to the Dirtbag, all seemingly unintended. I had an initiation to the folly of grown men as a spotty 17 year-old in 1994, up from the lower grades to play under Spook in the Div 1 Reserves. [Am I right in thinking you might have played some of those games TC, in and out of the As?]

    As a soliloquist, Spook was a master debater, carefully setting out the arguments in favour of one proposition before cunningly switching sides mid-sentence and then tying all the rhetorical loose ends together by concluding diplomatically that this was an issue on which he was going to have to agree to disagree.

    He needed to have all sides of the argument covered, because the fates were so often against him. One special highlight, if I remember correctly, was the day he adamantly insisted, ‘You don’t have to be Einstein to realise that it’s not going to rain today.’ It started bucketing down shortly after the first bounce.

  12. if only Dirty could get in to the heads of the fruit tingles this Sunday and demand a 25 goal win on the threat of death by one of his dastardly means.
    Great leaders are few and far between – all hail Dirty.

  13. Super Dazz says

    Ah, the Dirty One. The only time he is more profound is 10 minutes prior to closing beer in hand, sucking in one last durry , contemplating the world at large and attempting to answer the most difficult of questions. Am I going home or sallying forth to the next venue?
    A leader of extremely unique ,men !

  14. Lovely Lisa says

    God love Dirty!

  15. Isaac Hinton says

    His speechs are legendary. That is the real reason I pack my #127 gurnsey every time I come back to Adelaide for a weekend, in the hope my phone on Saturday morning gets a call from ‘Dirty D O’R” (as is in my phone) for a game full of modified verses from the great motivators of our time.

  16. Brian Rocky Austin says

    See all those HECS fees have been put to good use.

    Dirty not only delivers the great lines, he wears them: I ran into Dirty at my local he was wearing a rainbow T shirt with the following: ” I am not gay, but both my dads are”

  17. I just love the “Abba’s Greatest Hits” at Volume story!! Hadn’t heard that one before.
    Uni pooftas!
    No wonder we smashed Fitzroy that day!

  18. heavily plagarised from winston churchill

  19. Who did he play for?

  20. “As a soliloquist Spook was a master debater”. Gold Tommy. Blacks legend Dirty.

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