VAFA Premier B – Werribee v Fitzroy: Way Out West

My car is a dud and I blame Jullia Gillard. A few years ago they had a silly tax break that meant if you bought a new car you could claim half of the cost off your tax. I went a bought my first ever new car and it has a six speed gear box and a computer. Both these things break about once a month and it wouldn’t be so bad but they rarely break down at the same time. They take it in turn, one a month in turn so the bloody car……
Our beloved Roys are not like this; our forward line never works, while our defence is purring. What this car thing meant was that Mrs Derrinalphil and I did not trust the car to do two long trips on the one day. We decided to stay in Werribee. We wanted to do the Western thing.
Those of you who haven’t been to Soldiers Reserve you haven’t missed much. It aint the most picturesque Ammo ground. The first thing that Master Derinalphil noticed was the three unregistered cars parked at the ground. It’s a different world out west. At one end there are a few old dilapidated looking pine trees around the edge of the reserve. They lend a decaying look to the ground. The surface has that grass that sort of dies off in the winter. It looks terrible but the surface itself was perfect and could not be blamed for the appalling number of skill errors we were about to witness.
All the usual diehards were at the match. Susan and Wendy arrived. Sue is staying at Mount Dandenong and one would have thought she had the longest trip but we had a fan from Shepparton at the ground. Murray our water boy is a grand out of pocket. He needs a root filling but that wasn’t the most painful thing I heard about from the previous week. BOTPs Dad ear bashed me about some Ballet Tart they had at the lunch last week. Now I do listen to a bit of classical music but ballet…..
Speckie was waltzing around and had ten goals at half time in the twos and finished up with a lot more. The Twos are in second place and will play finals.
Brad from Tarneit arrived and the game was on. They were killing us early, winning the contested ball. Pickers gave a few leads early on. He was a mile clear but the skill level at this game befitted a clash of the bottom two teams. Both times it required a pass that didn’t grubber along the ground. Grubbers have been outlawed in cricket. We call them no balls now but grubbers were all the rage out in Werribee when Pickers was on a lead.
At one stoppage, in the forward pocket, Matty K hit the front of the pack at speed, wrenching the ball clear to young Baker who slotted the goal. How I enjoyed a properly constructed piece of play but it was the only one for the quarter and we went to the quarter time break down by two goals.

We had the breeze in the second quarter and at 2.47 pm it happened. WE HIT THE FRONT. This was uncharted waters for our team this season and we went into shock and played some embarrassing inept footy. I noticed Dalts wanted to come off. He couldn’t stand it. I wanted to go home but the car couldn’t stand it. They scored three goals in a row and only some inaccurate kicking kept us in it.
Sam Baker’s brother young Luke kicked an absolutely crucial goal just before half time but we went in nine points down.
They had an arvo tea at half time with the money going to the Werribee juniors. Brad from Tarneit said he was not going to support these Werribee mongrels’ (he comes from “Hoppers”) but it was like feeding time at the Zoo. Joan, our glorious president, saw my eyes light up at the home made sponge. “One piece only Phil” was her admonishing advice.
The second half opened in brilliant winter (droughty?) sunshine and we played some good football for ten minutes. Picker centred (well he reckoned he centred it) the ball to Dalts. Goal! Young Luke Baker ran onto a Pickers spill. Goal! Harbs ran onto a Brownie spill. Goal! The rest of the quarter was an embarrassment. Several times players under no pressure could not pick the ball up. When we were bringing the ball out of defence, we kicked out on the full. One such kick hit the tractor and roller shed. It was a long way out. One nearly hit the pine trees. Now these trees line the reserve perimeter, not the ground. It was even more “out on the full”.
We started the last quarter nine points up but went to sleep early. They hit the front but we dominated the last twenty minutes to run out winners by fourteen points. Garry McCarthy was great in defence. Bissetto, Brownie and young Luke Baker were terrific.
Things I noticed were the emergence of Micky Lee as a senior player. He was good up forward late. Pickers, who was spent and spent the last quarter on the bench, gave us a target up forward. Hopefully Ablett and Speckie will come in next week so improving our forward line.
Oh, by the way, I hope you all checked that your number plates weren’t nicked at the ground. Werribee is the capital of that particular felony.
Go the Roys.

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