VAFA Premier B – Fitzroy v Parkdale: Nice start

I’ve had a couple of stressful weeks. I am trying to sell a business. The first sale I pulled out of after a couple of months of negotiations. The second attempt is going along, with what my lawyer says is normal back and forth between buyer and seller, but I would prefer to deal with a squirting artery, blood going everywhere (remember what I always say, “If you cannot hear it bleed, it isn’t a problem” ).


A dental bleed is chicken feed.


Claire and I attempted to auction our house on Saturday. Bugger all turned up to the auction and we didn’t get a bid! Afterwards every one said, “Don’t get your knickers in a twist Phil. The house will sell.”


So I went down to Parkdale hoping for an easy game. I needed an easy game, the sort that even the most nervous supporter likes: win the toss, kick with the breeze, and be ten goals in front at half time. It wasn’t going to happen.


We played in those awful yellow jumpers. They are as ugly as sin, and everyone will like to know, that the reason the players do not have their usual numbers is the jumpers come in various sizes. Young Jamie Butler needs a different jumper to Gater. I always head for Sharon first (our team manager) to get the numbers and players worked out in my VAFA Record. She has a million things to do but always, takes a deep breath, and goes through the team list with me.


Then it was off to meet and greet the Tramconductors after a gap of six months.


Rory won the toss and kicked with the five goal breeze but you reckon no one gave a yelp at the auction. It was worse down at Parkdale. As I said at the time this is the worse we have played all year. We couldn’t get the ball. I reckon Matty K and Rory did not get a kick in the first fifteen minutes. Our on-ballers couldn’t get the ball and Parkdale scored the first goal and, in this period, set up the four goal lead they carried into half time.


Rory willed himself into the contest, as a captain should. He still couldn’t get the ball but laid several crunching tackles that made, even the Tramconductors wince. We started to get back into the game but allowed Parkdale, who had numbers behind the ball into the breeze, easy defensive exits to the eastern side of the ground.


Julian Tuner ( Jules pronounced “Jewels” ) played a blinder, and he, and Max Ellis were rock solid in defence all day. Nathan Jumeau kicked our first goal. He was a Fitzroy junior player but played with Vermont while studying, but now is back at his spiritual home. Three goals, three behinds, was a fine return for a fine return.


We start the second quarter well defending with ease, or more correctly Jules had the ball on a string and easily rebounded any Parkdale attacking option. My favourite ‘ugly footballer’ Lachie Henderson, playing in a ridiculously low number of thirty one, kicked a sublime goal into the breeze. He was immediately taken off and I remarked that this was the first time I had got into an AFL game without paying. Even the Parkdale supporters behind the goals knew what I was alluding to.


Unfortunately we allowed a few late goals in the second quarter that meant we went into half time four goals down.


We won the game in a golden five minute period in the third quarter. Pav kicked a couple of quick goals and so it was 7 5 to 9 10 at three quarter time.


Then the heavens opened, the sun disappeared, and the slog began. We scored first, a point, that Dave from Burnley, thought an important point as it put us up three goals.


We saved the game in the last quarter, by wanting the ball more than they did.


Now some of you know I never mention the umpires. I never complain about the umpires BUT ( note I have used the bold button, the italics button and the underline button ) that free kick against Maxie Ellis, in the goal square? I will attempt to post this infringement on the site when the VAFA puts it up.


So what can we make of the game? Firstly we are 84 points in front of where we were last year and 82 points in front of where we were the year before. We lost the first four games last year so to steal a game, an away game, early in the season is a bonus.


We have lost quite a few senior players but our five Under Nineteen players who debuted all looked the part. Jules, Maxie Ellis and Nathan are basically new blokes. Pickers will be a welcome addition next week.


Our new coach showed versatility in thinking when he moved Jules from defence to centre half forward in the third quarter. He realised that our best player, our in-form player, had to be forward when we had the wind.


We play Peninsula (up from C Grade) at home, in a fortnight, and they copped a flogging first up.  We have opened our B Grade season with a win once before but never won two first up.


Go the Roys.








  1. Keiran Croker says

    Thanks Phil. Glad we started with an away win. I’ll see you at a home game once I am back from WA in early May.

  2. bernard whimpress says

    Lively report Phil. Are you going to become a full-time writer with a sideline in pulling teeth? Incidentally I was over your way for Dave Nadel’s 70th last weekend and Tony Roberts took me down to Queenscliff on Saturday arvo for a Bellarine Peninsula game before the party. I queried why as a Brisbane supporter in the Lions heyday he didn’t follow the Lions locally – he lives in Thornbury – but didn’t get a conclusive reply.

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