Two ticks for the Granny

Two ticks for the Granny

By Digger and Teddy

Jim Stynes statue - Teddy Edwards

With the top-shelf demise of the Crows (no mediocrity there) and an unexpected Dockers loss to the Power, our hopes of securing 2 ticks for the Granny quickly evaporated.  Cheap flights and digs booked months before, based on the flawed assumption the Dockers were a dead cert.  And of course the Almanac Lunch at the Royal Melbourne Lock-up and UNE AFL Ol’ boys gathering at Percy’s were the must do’s for a huge ritual weekend.


It’s Friday and all angles have been explored – blue-blood mates from Geelong, Rocket for the Swans, Smokey-Dawson’s all-round, our clubs, other criminals, etc.  The Standard Hotel in Fitzroy is looking likely.


But it was Gloria’s (name withheld for privacy reasons) surprising final announcement at the Almanac Lunch “I have 2 ticks for the Granny” that lifted our spirits (amongst other things).  Phone numbers provided, we’re hopefully set.  By mid-morning Saturday Gloria doesn’t deliver (we agree two short fat balding out-of-towners weren’t part of her adventurous footy-romance plan), but there’s plenty of messages from well-wishers (with tickets) ‘go to the ground, you’re bound to score two ticks for the Granny’.  Yer right.


Gate 4 1pm – desperation and willingness to pay are peaking.  We pay homage to the great Stynesy and, yes, he seems to give us both a wink of hope and encouragement (not like Gloria!).  Without the sign of a desperado, “tickets needed”, surprisingly we’re offered several standing ticks (alas different bays), one seat in the members and another corporate – but we needed ‘two ticks for the Granny’.  We keep negotiating.


The crowd is swelling and we near 1.30pm and some Good Samaritan hands us a big bold ‘TICKETS WANTED’ sign, confidently announcing in Helvetica 76 pt that we’d be covered within 10 minutes!  Yer right.  Meanwhile, one of us keeps looking out for Gloria.


Then it comes:  “How many ya want? How ‘bout joining me and my son – wife and daughter have gone shopping (that’s weird – ticks must be dodgy)!? Come on lads, great seats on the wing, half forward back 20 rows”.  The deal’s done $8.50 below face-value (is that legal?) – Greg being a Cats man likes to keep it simple and rounds down to the nearest $100.


A nervous moment waiting for the green ‘GO’ – we’re in, beers in hand, yip-yip, tippy top seats, banter abounds …..  And yes, as some well-know that fantastic feeling, we’re engulfed by that swelling spirit of the Grand ol’ Granny.  Game on.


Our two ticks for the Granny go to:


  1. The AFL – its ticket market is alive and well albeit distorted by imperfect information, emotion and short trading period. Hope and serendipity rules.


  1. Cats supporters – they’re not all bad!



  1. I’ve never got into a grand final like that.
    But there have been times when deals were made.
    Actually, for most of my grand final tickets, deals were made.
    Well done on your tenacity.
    I hope you sent Gloria a selfie…

  2. Supply fixed (100k), demand (almost) infinite and prices set (too low) by AFL. That the market lends itself to what might euphemistically be called ‘irregular trades’ and that the lucky ones holding access rights (aka ticks) readily engage in caprious rent seeking behaviour is altogether unsurprising. The remarkable thing in your story boys is that the said ticks were cabbaged at below AFL edict rates and way below the spot price. Just goes to show, rational economic man does not live in Geelong.

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