There’s nothing like a prediction to get people talking


by Andrew Weiss

So the NAB Cup has finished and everyone is looking forward to the start of the season kicking off on Saturday night with a real blockbuster to start the year off, that being the Coathanger clash (well that’s what I am calling it) where the new boys in town the Giants take on the big brother, the Swans.

So as I look into the crystal ball here are some predictions for the season ahead:

1.     The grand final will be contested by two of these three teams – Hawthorn, Collingwood and Geelong. Okay I know that this is a pretty safe bet even though many people are talking up Carlton and possibly Fremantle and even West Coast chances but I still think there is a fair gap between these teams and the previous three.

2.     Nathan Fyfe and Dustin Martin will be in the top 10 Brownlow votes with one of them possibly in the top 4. Watching these guys in the pre-season has just further confirmed that they are going to be gun players and will no doubt catch the eye of the umpires.

3.     Brett Ratten could well be the first coach sacked this year. The pressure is really on for rats and the Carlton boys this year, with nothing but a preliminary final being touted as acceptable. Mick Malthouse (even though he won’t admit it) is in the wings for a new coaching job and with Richmond extending Damien Hardwick contract and a plethora of new coaches this season it seems that Ratten (and possible Voss or even Brad Scott) is the coach who may have his head on the chopping block if things don’t go right.

4.     We have already heard the Giants song for the only time this year and what an ear breaker it was. I can’t see the Giants winning a game this year even though they have surprised some with a few solid hit outs in the pre-season. If they don’t win a game in the first 8-9 rounds it will be hard to win one after that with such a young side trying to cope with the physicality of AFL football.

5.     Non Victorian teams will fill the bottom four positions. The bottom four will probably consist of GWS, Gold Coast, Power and the Lions. Outside of these four I could only see the Bulldogs, Demons and Kangaroos in the bottom four.

6.     Israel Falou as GWS leading goalkicker. I know it is a bit out there but who else is going to kick goals for them and if he plays it won’t be anywhere else except for full forward.

7.     Andrew Demetriou gets a restraining order put on Meatloaf which restricts Meatloaf from being any closer than 10,000km from the MCG on Grand Final Day. Enough said about that one.

8.     Dennis Committee is to step down from the seven commentary team after using the term ‘special’ too much during broadcasts. Bruce Macavaney tells seven executives that if Dennis doesn’t go than he will. Seven decide to ask Dennis to step down just in case they need Bruce to head the commentary for the 2028 Olympic Games.

9.     The Channel Nine footy show decide  that they can’t put on the show one Thursday night when they realise that their line up of Gary Lyon, James Brayshaw, Sam Newman, Jason Akermanis, Shane Crawford and Billy Brownless will be pointless as you cannot fit that many egos on one screen no matter how big your plasma is.

10.  Adelaide Crows have stuffed up any chance of winning the premiership this year after winning the NAB Cup competition.

11.  Eddie McGuire says that either he or the Collingwood Football Club has done something wrong (oops that is not a prediction that is just a dream!!!!!)

And finally……..

12.  Dane Swan and Dayne Beames at loggerheads with Eddie McGuire and the Collingwood football club after asking whether they can alter the Collingwood jumper. Half way through the season Dane and Dayne realise they have no more skin left to place any more tattoos on so they ask to start putting them on their Collingwood jumpers. When Eddie McGuire is asked why he has not allowed it, Eddie replies “It is bad enough that we have to change into an away jumper when we play the Kangaroos, never mind then having to do this because some of our players don’t have enough skin to continue getting tattoos. You will hear more about this in an exclusive interview on my great show Eddie McGuire tonight on Foxtel, that’s right on Eddie McGuire Tonight on Foxtel. Don’t miss it”

So there in a nutshell is what is going to happen in the 2012 AFL Season. Bring on 2013 !!!


About Andrew Weiss

Andrew is one of the few Brisbane Lions supporters that lives in the Adelaide Hills. He still has bragging rights over any Crows or Port supporter by mentioning the back to back to back premierships the Lions achieved in 2001-2003. After playing for over a decade for the mighty Adelaide Lutheran Football Club better known as 'The Doggies' he now spends his Saturdays running around footy ovals as an umpire, getting abuse no matter what decision is made. Coaching is probably next on the agenda as his two sons have started to play the great game of AFL. Andrew is a sports fanatic who when not watching or reading about sport is teaching secondary students about Biology, Nutrition and Psychology.


  1. Kirk Ugle to tear the competition apart and become one of the games greatest ever players.

    I know it is a big call, but looking through the NAB Supercoach scores, he scored 18 and 1. Then he was dropped. Some could say, like a gun.

  2. Collingwood, looking to exceed their Arizona junket from ’11, will send players plummeting into the depths in James Cameron’s submarine to embark on a rigorous training routine.

    The external pressure will be intense, but the club will argue that they are only focused on what goes on on the inside, where the pressure is more tolerable.

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