The Wrap: Round 12 and a bit


ST KILDA        12    0    173.62        48
GEELONG        11    0    153.00        44
FOOTSCRAY    8    4    125.89        32
BRISBANE        7    5    101.40        28
ADELAIDE        7    5    100.19        28
CARLTON        6    6    114.52        24
CARRINGBUSH    6    5    107.79        24
MAYBLOOMS    6    6      94.93        24
THE CHOKERS    6    6      89.62        24
STEAK&KIDNEY    5    6      96.46        20
THE GLIDERS    5    6      94.89        20
NTH MELB        4    8      76.27        16
WEAGLES        3    9      86.90        12
STRUGGLETOWN    3    9      79.79          12
FLAKY FREO    3    8      79.73        12
THE FUCHSIAS    1    10     70.46          4

What a split round it’s been in Footy Eddie.  The Miseries challenged The Ladder Leaders only to go down in a game that had everything.  This was the one to take your cousin from Reykjavik to.  The next night THE TIGERS jumped out of the blocks and managed to hang about for the rest of the night to take the Eight Points on offer as they moved relentlessly up The Ladder.  Up in Charlie Tio Stadium The Bulldogs mauled The Power From Port 32 scoring shots to nine.

Come Sunday and the early one was a bad day at York Park for Little Hawkers as Boss Voss’s Boys comprehensively outplay them in the 2nd Half.  Over in the City of Light The Free Settlers ground The Shinboners to powder as they moved into September Contention.


Found this advert in the Leader.  Someone who doesn’t want to miss the St Riewoldt v Full Back of The 21st Century match in Round XIV.  You’d give up a couple of Bandwagon tickets wouldn’t you?  Get in early, avoid the rush?

The Coaches Carousel gathers momentum as it grinds out its morbid dirge.  Seen bobbing up and down on the ceramic Kangaroo is Coach Deano while Chokko sits in the Fairies’ Carriage, his thousand-yard stare fixed on the horizon.  Meanwhile, the empty paper mâché Tiger licks its lips and grins its horrible grin as it sweeps past on another deadly circuit.  On the inner row, a ghostly figure sits astride a pair of highly polished Magpies.  One with a splash of Teal in it.

And you want rumours?  Try this.  Coach Brewery to Alberton and Chokko to the Lexus Centre.  So grotesque it makes you shudder, eh?

As the Socceroos prepare for the defence of The MCG, Glorious Leader has lent his smiling dial and squeaky clean desk to the promo for Australia’s bid for the World Cup.  Will it be the Tour de France next?

Speaking of which, it’s getting close to that time as Cadell Evans lines up for the most gruelling sporting event on the calendar.  Can he make it three on the trot?

But enough of my gabbin’. Let’s delve straight into Round XII

ST KILDA         7.2    9.2    13.7    16.8        104
CARLTON        3.2    9.2    11.6    14.11          95
Carlton V St Kilda.  If you wanted to showcase OGG, you wouldn’t need to go much further than Friday’s game.  This was Footy as it should be played.  No quarter given, no quarter asked.  Everybody would have seen the game from different angles.  Isn’t that what keeps us talking about it, eh?  From the Wrap Loungeroom we picked up a couple of valuable lessons.  Lesson 1: don’t give an undefeated team with a percentage approaching the ton a five goal to zip start and expect to win.  Lesson 2: don’t contest a ball your Skipper is already contesting.  (Mark Austin take note – Ed)  With the momentum going their way, the Juddanught ran into a bit of friendly fire trying to take possession of the pill.  Taken to the boundary under the blood rule, he was given a swine flu injection and sent back out.  It’s hard to say whether his continual return to the boundary for booster shots upset Carlton’s or St Kilda’s balance more.  But it was during his 1st forced absence that The Feeling Faints got onto the smelling salts and regained momentum, not to surrender it again.  Rossy Lyon would have welcomed the hit out, as would’ve Coach Ratts.  The pressure exposed a weakness or two in the Blues line-up, and it would be fair to say neither Fevalenko nor Nick Stevens will play in a Carlton premiership.  In fact, were we the only ones to notice the devastation written all over The Dreadlock’s face as he walked off the Park?  More the look of a man who has just missed the 3rd leg of the trifecta.  Or a man about to be fitted with cement overshoes.  That aside, he does get badly treated by the maggots don’t you think?  He wouldn’t get a free kick in a stampede, fair dinkum.  It hasn’t been the 1st time The Saints have been extended.  That they didn’t wilt under fire will stand them in good stead.  They have the match winning knack of being able to switch on the afterburners when pressed.  And aren’t Hawthorn going to be livid when they learn that Zac Dawson can play forward or back.  His sealer in the Shadow of Full Time wasn’t the easiest of shots but he rejected the option of kicking it like a backman.  The Bluebaggers come back on Friday fortnight in another Season Deciding clash with Arch Rival Essendon.  For The Junction Oval Seagulls it’s also under cover, against RICHMOND on the Sunday.

BULLDOGS        4.2    8.5    13.9    21.11        137
CHOKERS        1.1    4.1      5.2       7.2          44
The Doggies v The Chokers.  As you read this over your morning smoko they’ll be loading up The Ghan with the body bags for Alberton Station.  I ask you; they had nine scoring shots.  For goodness sake, this is supposedly an AFL team of professional footballers.  One thing about it though, the 11,306 was probably a better gate than the would have got at home.  As for The Sons of The West, they looked every bit a Contender as they put a bit of percentage between themselves and The Pack as well as maintaining that one game advantage.  Next round they have  the Troubled North on the big stage on the Sunday.  For Port it doesn’t get any better: The Moggies at Cat Central.

RICHMOND    5.6    8.8    10.12    13.14        92
WEST COAST    2.0    6.2       9.7    11.11        77
THE BORN AGAIN TIGERS v The Cousinless Coasters.  It didn’t look much on the scoreboard but in the context of the 2009 season it was a massive win for THE TIGERS.  However, SOTG may have noticed that they did little different from what they had been doing all year: a one quarter blitz and then go back into their shells.  They should have had the match buried by the 1st Huddle with 11 scoring shots to two.  By the Long Break they held an 18 point advantage but had twice as many scoring shots as their opponent: 16 to eight.  Fortunately that was West Coast, and The Wiggles weren’t able to capitalize. The two beanpole debutantes showed promise.  Spring Heel Nick was tentative at first but warmed to the contest once his nerves passed.  The 1st of his two goal assists was a gem.  Taking possession one handed, he showed the balance of a cat to slip the tackle and feed the handball to a passing teammate.  One thing’s for sure – he loves a handball.  Tyrone was equally impressive.  He gets his head over the ball and was seen in and under more than once.  THE TIGES will enjoy singing the song and will be better for the run under Coach Jade.  They’ll test they progress against The Competition Leaders when festivities recommence in a fortnight.  For The Weagles, It’s difficult to see where they go from here.  They challenged THE TIGES at different times but weren’t able to go on with it.  Josh Kennedy kept them in the contest with some classy forward play and Matthew Priddis showed real endeavour.  However, some of their name players appeared to be on the ground in name only.  You whistle and I’ll point?  Let’s start with Cox & Lynch.  Stenglein & Kerr would be another two.  They get to re-group against The Inconsistent Hawks back in The West next round.

BRISBANE        2.4    3.9    7.13    13.15        93
HAWTHORN    3.3    6.5      7.7        7.9        51
The Mayblooms v The Gorillas.  They’re going for the Barocca down at Ausdoc Oval as the throbbing head and the cocky’s cage mouth continues.   With everything to play for and everything to lose, The Mustard Pots were about as hot as last night’s brussel sprouts.  When they took more than half a quarter to bring up the twin calicos with the breeze at their back it looked ominous.  And even though they held a slender lead going into the Long Break they had looked anything but convincing.  At Half Time they were a goal in front with a rest and the prospect of the three goal wind for the Championship Quarter.  The Lions outscored them against the wind and mauled them in the last kicking with it.  They had the desire and Boss Voss would have been pleased with their effort and the Eight Points.  They move up to 4th with Melbourne at The Gabbattoir next round.  For The Hawks, they slip back to the peloton.  The way they responded to the Brisbane challenge on Sunday would suggest that every game’s a danger game from now on.  The first of which is the smarting West Coast over there.  It would be absurd to think they hadn’t worked out by now that you’re only as good as your last premiership, but you never know.  Look who their President is.  It’s difficult to see what more Coach Clarko can do.  He can only pump so much barocca into them, after that the cure has to come from within.  That’s what Crawf was talkin’ about.

ADELAIDE        2.4    3.6    5.9    9.14        68
NTH MELB        0.0    1.2    2.5    3.6        24
Adelaide v North Melbourne.  In the Shadows of Mt Lofty, with 30,173 of the Faithful turning up on a brutal Adelaide winter’s night, The Roos succumbed to The Pride of South Australia.  Once more counting their casualties, they retreat back down The Ladder.  Coach Deano, his team’s 2009 campaign well and truly over, starts his rebuilding against the odds – The Sons of The West on The Paddock That Grew.  For The Carbonated Chardonnays it’s another one at Crow Park: The Sydney Swans, in what could be a defining moment for both clubs in 2009.  The rise and rise of The Crows may have caught a few Pundits by surprise.  Tipped before the season to be-building, they appear to have got their act together and the Playing Group is teaming well and playing with purpose.  They  have the potential to create some havoc in September.

And remember, if you read it in The Wrap you’ll know it’s not crap.

About John Mosig

I'm an Aussie Rules tragic who can remember, as a four year old, shaking the hand of Captain Blood in the rooms just before he ran out onto the ground after half time, as my Old Man slipped him a packet of under-the-counter Craven A cork tipped. Now it's my turn to take my grandson Ben through the ritual of character building that is the journey through PUNT ROAD to the outside world.

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