The Week – Hamstring Weather is Here

Channel 7 have just used the live ladder, again, during a game involving 1 & 2 in the comp. BT is gone. The Smith Street Band’s “More Scared Of You Than You Are Of Me” replaces him. It’s been a long week…




After two draws, the Brunswick Hockey Club is desperate for a win. Two weeks is just too long to wait for another rendition of the club song. Our opposition is Geelong, a side we beat 2-0 away from home in round 3. We’re without Zac, who copped his fourth yellow card and the accompanying one-week suspension in Gippsland last week.


The task gets tougher early on, when Max, our leading goal scorer, pings a hammy. It is the season for it – winter is here (see: Monday). We’re down a rotation, but still creating plenty of chances. A key stop on half-time from Shep in our goal keeps it at 0-0, but it’s been a frustrating half.


We’re creating plenty of chances, but Geelong have a very sound goalkeeper and the ball just won’t go in.


In the second half, we score almost through sheer weight of chances, and then we score again. When it rains, it pours.


Or not. We concede down the other end with 17 minutes to play.


Am I nervous, 2-1 up near the death for the third time in three weeks?


I certainly wasn’t emulating the Dalai Lama.


We get over the line for an ugly but vital win, given the circumstances.


We keep a statistic called the “goal opportunity tally”, which measures the quantity and quality of goal scoring chances for both sides. The score on that front is 67-12.


I had a haircut on Friday, which means I don’t have much left to pull out – a happy twist of fate.


Anyway, the final word on this one goes to Ian Holloway, Blackpool FC manager during the glory days.




Really, this is just a wasted day. A vodka shot at 4am clean bowls me.


When I wake up on Sunday and realise the Tigers start at 1.10, I’m not a happy man. In fact, I’m a still-slightly-drunk man wondering if my football teams really matters at all.


How dare the AFL not cater for those of us who get home at ungodly hours?


To make matters worse, the game is at Etihad, in the middle of winter, and the roof is open.


Anyway, I decide Richmond matter.


I spend most of the game shivering. I don’t know if it’s because of my hangover or because I’m actually cold, but either way, I’m blaming the AFL.


The footy is predictably low-quality and we hold Brisbane at arm’s length all day.


I don’t learn an awful lot, except who Nick Robertson is. His efforts to curtail Dustin Martin are farcical. That no free kick is paid allows the situation to aggravate, totally unnecessarily.


He’s now made a name for himself as a serial pest. I’d much rather he had done it playing football, like teammate Alex Witherden.


The day spirals away with a burger and the fourth Harry Potter film. The weekend ends with Voldemort coming back. An omen, perhaps? Unlikely, given I have left over onion rings in the fridge.





 O yes – Game of Thrones.


I don’t like plot spoilers, so I won’t go into details here. But I’m sure you’ve heard about Ed Sheeran’s cameo.


I feel no shame in mentioning it because it was really irrelevant to the plot, as far as I know (if he’s actually about to become a new male lead, I apologise).


Anyway – everyone went a bit mental and Ed deleted his Twitter account.


Seriously people, the bloke sang a bit, drunk some blackberry wine and offered Arya a bit of food. Hardly treason. Go easy.




 They say lightning never strikes twice in the same place, which apparently doesn’t apply if you love spending time around trees, which conduct electricity.


The Greens cop it, again.


Larissa Waters resigns for the same reason as old mate Ludlam. I found it hard to believe one person made the dual citizenship mistake. I can’t decide if this makes it better, or worse.


Anyway, politicians everywhere are scampering to clarify their status. Which, I would’ve thought they’d done upon election to Parliament. But then, Peter Dutton’s ministerial portfolio has been expanded, so I’m a bit confused by the whole system right now.


Wednesday – nothing to report.




This article from Giants man Stephen Coniglio catches my eye. A great read about a pretty tough year for him.

On a side note, it’s freezing, but I still manage to wear shorts to training. I’m assuming that means I forfeit any right to whinge about it being freezing?




O hello – it’s ‘Wear your Pyjamas to work” day, which means my arrival in a stock standard outfit draws disapproval from the masses. I have a meeting. I just forgot to bring pyjamas to change into. I don’t want pyjamas, but I do want a nap.


Which, now it is 11pm, I’m going to treat myself to.


This week is set to be a bloody ripper, especially with the launch of the Women’s Almanac on Thursday!


Have a good one, folks!

About Jack Banister

Journalism student @ Melbourne Uni, Brunswick Hockey Club Men's Coach, tortured Tigers fan.


  1. Jack:

    I do know about Sheeran’s cameo. And “Galway Girl” and “Shape of You”.

    I wonder if Kiran has come into your night-time adventures? He did in mine on Sunday especially when we think about “Live Each Day” [as if it’s your last]!

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