The vagaries of vaseline

For some time now, I have been intrigued as to why the Melbourne backline forms a huddle after every goal scored against them.

Is it bonding? A review of where they got it wrong? Is it simply that they form a type of human shield to protect themselves from the opposition’s verbal barbs?

Well, I think I have finally figured it out.

One of the backmen is definitely in charge of a var of Vaseline. To make them slicker, they reapply said Vaseline at these huddles. I can just see them telling each other about the benefits – we can get off such slick handpasses, we can finesse the drop of the ball on to our foot and all while keeping our hands soft and supple!

The only flaw in this seemingly cunning plan is a complete and utter inability to lay a tackle! Last night, we attempted something like 150 tackles and only 40-odd were successful. This has nothing to do with the strength or evasive skills of the Suns and everything to do with a jar of Vaseline.

There, now you know!

About Paul Reed

A Demons supporter for over 50 years, not many of them memorable


  1. Guru Gus - Singapore says

    According to your coach ruminating on the tackle count, MFC were hamstrung by the “stronger bodies” of the 3 year old fooy club known as the Suns. Truly a bizarre comment.

    Good luck to you anyway – at some point the torture must stop.

  2. C’mon, Almanackers! Do I really have to be the first to say that the jar of Vaseline is for the number of time opposition forward lines *** them in the ****…?

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