The (possible/probable) last 30 seconds of the Grand Final

It’s on. Swan’s been held to 15 touches by Clint Jones. Meanwhile Saint Nick has 6.1. The ball is held in at centre wing. The scores: Saints 17.11 (113) to Collingwood 15.22 (112).

Ball up. Gardiner taps it to Montagna. He runs. One bounce. Two. He has a shot from the Forward Flank. It’s going, going, touched on the line by Presti, who hasn’t had his best day, conceding 6 goals to Nick and 3 to Kosi. He kicks it to the middle, where Didak collects his 27th possession, to add to his 3 goals. 10 seconds to the siren. 9. 8. 7. Didak has it in the centre circle. He bombs it long. 4 seconds remaining. Ball is flying to… CLOKE! He marks it 45 out on a slight angle. Siren!

So, the man who has had questions over his kicking all year, has the last kick of the game. He has 3.3. This has been the Magpies fear all year. He has the shot. And it has… hit the post. Too bad for the Magpies, but too good for the Saints.

Final scores: 17.12 (114) to 15.23 (113). Nick Riewoldt wins the Norm Smith for his 6 goal, 26 disposal performance.

About Sam Marcolin

Sam Marcolin realises that some idiots don't know when to stop and that google doesn't have privacy settings. People who are googling me should stop it.


  1. Vivid imagination, short sentence structure – you should write children’s books!

  2. Tails,

    if he were to change the scores around it would be a best seller to that market as he would have a ready made audience.

    Enjoy this week, it is usually a hoot.

    Cheers, Phantom. (Very relaxed)

  3. Or back on planet earth, Pies blow Saints away in first quarter. Interstate bookings go through the roof, Magpie army clear their vocal chords for an eardrum splitting 5 days of revelry.

  4. Its been announced that St Kilda will wear their clash guernsey in this Saturday’s Grand Final, with the Pies donning the traditional white on black jumper. This decision has been made because Collingwood finished higher on the ladder, therefore avoiding a huge outburst from Eddie McGuire and co. if the Pies were forced to wear the away jumper.

  5. These clash strips are a joke.

    Since when has anyone had trouble confusing the Saints and Magpies?

  6. Certainly not this weekend.

    One will be a winner and one will be a loser.

    The tears are usually the give away at the end.

  7. If I were Collingwood i’d be wanting to wear the black stripes on white jumper as the 14 premierships they have won in the CFC history have been in that jumper. History isn’t on their side for the weekend.

  8. What about the 27 they have lost Josh?

    Have you got an update on that one?

  9. As they what is better than beating the magpies, beating them by a point

  10. Peter Schumacher says

    What if the situation is such that Saint Nick has a shot for goal 45 metres out, the final siren having just sounded and St Kilda 5 points behind?

  11. #6 Good point, Phantom. Oh and thanks for your good wishes yesterday.

    #3 That’s the most reassuring scenario, Dave, but it would be a more just scenario if Collingwood won by one point (kicked by Trav) after the siren. Only thing is, I’ve reached the age where blokes have coronaries and I might not survive the excitement.

  12. Sydney Malakellis says

    Here’s my preferred ending…
    Ten seconds to go, pies up by one point. Hayes kicks it deep into the saints forwardline to riewoldt who juggles the ball but can’t mark. The ball dribbles over the back to Milne who is ridden into the ground with a cam mooney like tackle by swan. Free kick. Siren. Milne lines up from thirty out directly in front as the magpies crowd go ape droppings. He steps forward… kicks… and shanks it on the full. Pies win, Milne collapses on the ground, and everyone else laughs.

  13. Sydney Malakellis says

    Sorry, don’t know what happened there!

    Ten seconds to go, pies up by one point. Hayes kicks it deep into the saints forwardline to riewoldt who juggles the ball but can’t mark. The ball dribbles over the back to Milne who is ridden into the ground with a cam mooney like tackle by swan. Free kick. Siren. Milne lines up from thirty out directly in front as the magpies crowd go ape droppings. He steps forward… kicks… and shanks it on the full. Pies win, Milne collapses on the ground, and everyone else laughs.

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