The Match Committee

The Match Committee gathered
To plan their playing list;
Coaches, managers, doctors
And compounding pharmacist.


The coach said – I’m a winner
Don’t mean to be big notin’;
But you don’t win Cups and Brownlows
Without your share of Melanotan.


The other clubs have topped us
I know – I’ve got my spies in;
We’ve heard that Eddie’s brain fades
Come from Cerebrolysin.


Old Fletch is thirty eight
He can hardly get his leg in;
So for our first round draft pick
I’ll take strong  Acto Vegin.


The midfield’s looking weak
Needs tough bodies to get stuck in;
Let’s draft that Greek weightlifter
Get Spriro Thymos in.


Our forward line’s a shambles
Kicked our lowest ever score;
He might be a lower pick
We’ll chance Nine Six Oh Four.


Kids are very well
You need experience in the guts;
We’ll shove it up the Magpies
Trade for Luke-Ball-Plus.


There’s some might think we’re cheatin’
There’s some might say it’s sin;
To make sure we’ve got the mettle
We’ll test Factor Insulin.


I won’t rest until we’re winnin’
I won’t sleep until we’ve cracked it;
Won’t let the bastards stop us
I’ll get Hexalerin redacted.


They might say we’ve pushed the boundary
But it’s winning that you feel;
When you lift the Premiership Cup
With the help of our Traumeel.



We’ve got to keep this secret
Can’t afford to miss the bus;
If other clubs catch wind
We’ll have to front the Tribulus.



I know we’re all blood brothers
Would die for the Bomber’s sake;
Remember our proud motto
What counts is “What You Take”.



  1. What counts is “What You Take”. Might be the best take on whatever this season Mr B.

  2. Phillip Dimitriadis says

    PB, you are one verse-atile knacker. Something’s got to give with this saga, hopefully sooner than later.

  3. daniel flesch says

    Gawd ! Didn’t know Traumeel is a banned substance . It’s a natural anti-inflammatory gel for sore muscles. You get it over the counter at the chemist’s. Got some in the bathroom cabinet to rub on the shoulder after a day with the brushcutter. Seems the drugs listed are a mixture of innocuous and scary ; but why didn’t they just list the nasties ? And PB , i reckon your beloved Weagles will be lifting a Premiership before the Gliders get to do it again.

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