The Footy Almanac 2007 Round 16 – Richmond v Port Adelaide: Six times tables don’t cover 24 goals

The first printed edition of The Footy Almanac came out in 2007, before we had a website. In the absence of a real 2020 season, we will be publishing the 2007 pieces for the first time ever on Follow the season!



Richmond versus Port Adelaide

2.10pm, Sunday, July 22

Melbourne Cricket Ground



ON THE TRAIN INTO THE MCG the Richmond supporter was using the time to further the education of his 12-year-old son and 10-year-old daughter.


“How do you spell Fremantle?”?“F-r-e-m-a-n-t-l-e” said the daughter confidently. “How do you spell Adelaide?” “A-d-l-e” started the son before he saw the smirk on his sister’s face. The father switched to arithmetic. Six times tables. “How many points is seven goals?” “Thirty-six,” the girl answered quickly. The father sighed and returned to reading the sports pages. Maybe he wasn’t trying to teach them anything. Maybe he was just trying to take his mind off the inevitable.


You certainly needed your six-times tables to keep up with the first quarter of this game. Sixteen goals were scored in just over half-an-hour, seven of them by Richmond. So, they were in the hunt at quarter time and it being Matthew Richardson’s 250th game Tigers fans were no doubt hoping for something unexpected. Why else would 22,000 turn up on a cold afternoon to watch the bottom team take on a team that had just embarrassed West Coast by 15 goals?


Unfortunately Richardson couldn’t get into the game until the second half, by which time the game was over. You could never question his efforts, but whenever he led he ended up watching the footy being kicked to someone else. Sure, they might have been in a better position but you’d think his teammates would be looking for him from time to time.


Perhaps what Richardson needed in that first half was a plastic inflatable hand to get his teammates’ attention. Such an appendage was available, according to The AFL Record, from the mobile Tigers Den inside Gate 4: “Mention the codeword ‘Richo’ and you will receive a free inflatable hand (while stocks last)”. Well, Richmond’s stocks lasted for all that first quarter and then Port Adelaide did as they pleased, stretching their lead at every break. Richmond failed to goal in the second quarter, giving the girl from the train plenty of time to re-learn her six times tables.


Though one-sided, the game was free of negative tactics. Hardly a kick went backwards all day, Port Adelaide realising that if you want to kick more than 20 goals in an afternoon the best way home is forwards. There weren’t many ball-ups in general play and not many boundary throw-ins. No zoning. Tempo footy? This was more like circle work, the difference being that the Power’s exquisite foot skills nearly always hit the spot while Richmond stumbled about, coughed up the footy and saw the ball whiz away into the distance and through the Power’s goals.


Graham Polak held Warren Tredrea for the first half but he couldn’t hold the whole backline together. With the Cornes brothers, Chad and Kane, and Peter Burgoyne sending the ball smoothly forward, Daniel Motlop, Shaun Burgoyne and Brett Ebert feasted on the easy pickings.


The crowd didn’t seem too keen on Motlop but also jeered, lord knows why, former Tiger David Rodan.


Jack Riewoldt gave Richmond some heart and took a ripper mark (over Richardson) in the final quarter. The youngster showed enough to warrant spending the rest of the season in the black and gold, rather than wearing the red and black for Coburg.


In the end, it all seemed inevitable. In the end, it was the bottom team versus one with an eye on the top four. In the end, all a Richmond supporter in the third level of the Ponsford Stand could say, with increasing vigour, was, “Oh, just piss off!” He wanted the Port Adelaide players to go away. He wanted the umpires to go away. He wanted the season to go away. And maybe he wanted this whole thing called football to go away.


Richmond  7.4 7.7 10.9 15.10 (100)

Port Adelaide  9.3 13.6 19.9 24.11 (155)



Port Adelaide: Ebert 6, Motlop 5, S. Burgoyne 4, Tredrea 3, Boak, Lonie, Rodan, Pearce, K. Cornes, C. Cornes.

Richmond: Richardson 4, Riewoldt 3, Edwards, Pettifer 2, Brown, Simmonds, Tuck, Hyde.



Port Adelaide: C. Cornes, K. Cornes, S. Burgoyne, P. Burgoyne, Ebert, Motlop, Surjan, Wilson.

Richmond: Polak, Riewoldt, Richardson, Pettifer, Edwards, Foley.



Farmer, Ellis, K. Nicholls.



Cornes (PA) 3, K. Cornes (PA) 2, P. Burgoyne (PA) 1.



Cornes (PA) 3, C. Cornes (PA) 2, Ebert (PA) 1.






For more Round by Round reports of the 2007 season click HERE


Printed copies of The Footy Almanac 2007 can be purchased here.


2007 Footy Almanac

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